I need a good book

I am in dire need of a really good book to read. The fact that I have no free time is going to impede my ability to acrually read said book. But it's been a while since I've read one I really love.
I have been trying to read Godless, by Ann Coulter. I think I agree with her on a lot, and I think she is a smart lady. However, her polemic is a bit annoying. I already know what Clinton did with Monica, I do kind of get the impression that Ms Coulter thinks his moral failing in that instance is his only shortcoming. I rather suspect she could paint a broader picture, as his list of shortcomings was far more varied. Her utter distain of the Liberals is weighty and redundant. Although she is caustically amusing from time to time, I find it to be a huge effort to read. I, too, think the liberals are off their rocker. I think we would be better served to focus on what individuals, and the nation can do right, rather than liberal-bashing. So we want to know what we believe, I am all for that. But Enough, already, Ann.
Huh, I feel better. I am only a quarter of the way through that book, and now I feel the freedom to walk away. I am not going to finish it. So There!

I'm outta here

I really need to go pack lunches because we're going skiing today. WHOO HOOO!!!
But, I have to tell you about my day yesterday.
I got a cortizone shot in my elbow for a case of whatever-the-heck is wrong with my elbow. That was painful. All day. And the doctor totally lied to me. He said it was just going to be a pinch. It hurt all day long. I hate when doctors lie.
My baby sister got in a car wreck. She is very sore about the head and neck, but seems to be ok. Her car is not ok. Poor girl!
I had extra children for 13 hours yesterday. 13 HOURS. It was a long day.
But today I am going skiing. My formerly broken toe and my tendonitis and my messy house can just go to Congo for all I care. I am going skiing.

Can you hear me?

You know, I am not doing all that well at keeping up with this. Blogging is time-consuming stuff. I need to be inspired, otherwise I just complain.
I am watching Nick 4 days a week now. He is 18 months old. This adds an element to my life that I hadn't considered. He makes everything sluggish and slow. If I want to jog up to the store real quick, I have to strap in the carseat, then the baby, then change the diaper that wasn't messy before, then grab his diaper bag to take along, O, and don't forget a bottle. And nap time? I have to be home at nap time. You don't ever wanna miss that.
My kids have been out of that stage for a long time. I can leave them home alone with a list of chores, and sometimes they all get done.
But there's new parenting issues.
My nearly-12-year-old has lost his mind. He can't actually think anymore. I totally lost my temper with him yesterday, because he can't follow directions. He was formerly a smart kid. Now, unless you happen to be a strawberry blond with blue eyes, you are invisible. You can practically see the clouds hanging about his head. He's in a fog. I say "clean your room" and he looks at me like "What room?" And he wanders off in some random direction.
No one would obey me yesterday. I stood alone in the center of my home yesterday, surrounded by children and I spoke to the air.."Can anyone hear the sound of my voice?" ..........and no one answered.
Maybe it's me.
"unload the diswasher."
"Do your schoolwork."
"Fold the laundry."
You know what I am going to do? I am going to open my sentances with an Ear-catching phrase! This is a great idea! I'll shout something scandelous like "I AM NAKED....go clean your room."
I'll let you know how that works.

Stuff...

I have stuff to tell you, because there's been a few things going on.
I went Skiing.
This is a big deal because of my Broken Toe That Refused to Heal. I am so excited!!!! It didn't even hurt. I resolved to ski on Friday, and so I just set out with the kids. I put on the boot, and I hit the slopes. It was that simple.
And you know what? I love to ski alone. I had never done that before, but I will do it again for sure. The boys were in this snowboarding class, and they spent the rest of the day running about with their friends and cousins. I was blissfully able to do Whatever I Wanted.
Yesterday, I had to be at the Martial Arts studio because we had testing. This is a tortuous process by which individuals perform before a judge to see if they know enough to earn their next belt level. It's fun. More fun as a judge than as a student, as you can imagine. I expect to test for my Black Belt in April, so now I have to start getting nervous about that.
I came home after the testing and slept from about 1:30- 5:30. I was totally zonked! It could be the raging sinus infection that is trying to kill me. That could be why I was tired.
I did go to house church, though. It's pretty wonderful to want to be at church. I don't know how badly we trashed Lisa's house, but the kids tell me that vomit was a factor. Dani mentioned that House church is more like a raging party than like any church she's ever been to, and I think that was a compliment....It's the kids, really. The adults are not quite as rambunctious.
Last night we finished eating and just lingered at the table talking. We covered a variety of topics ranging from Job opportunities to the Trinity to Ann Coulter. Several people talked about ways that they have seen God at work in their lives, and in the lives of those around them. I love to hear stuff like that. You know, one of the purposes of the church is to build us up so that we can go back off to our world and be equipped to be Jesus to the people around us.
House church does this in a way that conventional church never did for me.
I know a lot about the Bible. I was raised in the church, so I have years of Pastoral teaching under my belt. I suspect that this is true for most Christians in the U.S. In fact, if I never heard another sermon...and just applied what I've already been taught...I think I may actually accomplish something.
With house church, we are praying and reading our bibles. But there's way Way WAY more. It's relational. Organic. Motivating. Interesting. Mysterious.
The focus is becoming Jesus. Isn't that, like, duh!? But it was never the focus before. I have always been focused on Learning.
God is doing stuff with these people, and around us. I want to be a part of it. And it doesn't look all tidy and neat like it once did. It's risky and a little dangerous, and fun, and so very outside-of-us. If you are involved, you know what I am talking about.
Perhaps it's the same sort of thing that made the disciples drop everything to follow this guy, Jesus. I suspect it's an inkling of what made them willing to die for Him.
You know why? 'Cause it's Love. I am beginning to understand what it means to love Jesus and people. And I have been a Christian for 30-some-odd years, so that fact that I am only just beginning to get this concept is a bit sad.
But I am beginning to get it.

Paj's Meme

Tag, you're it!
It’s your turn to answer these Q’s, and email your answers to me because I’m curious about you. Or, even better, post them here if you like! If you have a blog, you must answer them on your blog and then tag someone else.
Q’s:
What’s the most fun work you’ve ever done, and why? Raising kids, hands down. It's the very hardest work ever, but there are daily rewards. Plus, I learn so much along the way! We get to laugh all the time, we don't have to keep our work indoors, and I can go to work in my PJs.
What’s the one thing you did in the past that you no longer do but wish you did? Acting, like on a real stage. I am going to do it again, you just watch.
If you could take a class/workshop/apprentice from anyone in the world living or dead, who would it be and what would you hope to learn? I think Shakespeare. He would teach me about writing and human nature. I dunno, maybe I would go for Mother Teresa and learn how to love people.
What three words might your best friends or family use to describe you? You all should answer this instead of me!....loud, effervessent, intense
What 2 words do you wish could describe yourself? tiny, organized
What are your top 3 passions and why? #1 Jesus, duh! Top 3? I am passionate about everything. #2 Um...Add my people, that's a large umbrella. My people include all those people that I love. I am very passionate about my people. #3 And learning. My own learning, and those I teach. That's bible study, homeschool, and martial arts.
Write and answer one question that you’d like to ask someone. I would ask God Why He allows such difficulty for those He loves. People, Good people, suffer so dreadfully, and I don't understand why it has to be so bad. That's my question...I don't know the answer.

hospitality at house church

So, here's the thing. House church is fantastic and I love it. We meet on Saturday night with lots of food and no agenda. The no agenda part is really hard to get used to for a girl who's grown up in a traditional church environment. We always eat and pray and discuss life and God's Word. But we kind of go with the Spirit, too. Sometimes we sing, and usually we don't. Tonight we did communion. We talk a lot about random topics. No one is really in charge. It's wonderful.
We had a ton of people here tonight.
I have a small house, to begin with. I am trying to count ...I think there were about 15 adults and 30 kids, maybe more. That doesn't sound like a lot if you go to a Mega church in Texas, but in my living room, it's quite something.
The first little thing to go awry was the red wine on the carpet. Yes, we drink wine. That wasn't the problem. But, before the wine, my carpet was mostly pale. Not so much, after.
Then there were the glass shards from the open window in D's room. Fortunately, no one escaped or was fatally wounded.
And the toilet...It was lucky Soubanh was here. Who knows what the little ones flushed? The thing is clogged really, really bad. How come a clogged toilet won't flush away, but will Over Flow? It hardly seems fair. That was a Damp Disaster involving a number of towels, a couple grown men, a plunger, and some bleach. The plunger didn't work. Hopefully, the bleach did. Soubanh's coming back tomorrow to replace my toilet.
There's Scripture, you know, which says to "Show hospitality without complaint." Blogging is not the same as complaining. It's actually way better.
Just as I was typing this......no kidding....like, just as I was typing, the boys came to tell me of the horrors in my bathroom. My Own Personal Bathroom. At the moment it is the only working toilet in the house.
Horrors, indeed.
Someone who used it last was Not Healthy and I have just retuned from bleaching the Splatters from the porcelain in there. Truly, there were splatters. And one of my nice towels seems to have been misused as toilet paper. It was so gross. After washing my hands really well, I Lysol-ed the entire house. Whatever child left that mess cannot be trusted to wash their hands, so I Lysol-ed EVERY Surface. I assume it was a child. Please tell me that no adult would do that.
My bathroom is painted a stunning red called "opera house red," and I have lovely white accents. It's not a place for younglings. It's a place for perfume and jewelry and private solitary moments.
But I digress....
House Church is really a great thing, over all. Plus, we're meeting at Lisa'a next week. When is Meichelle hosting?

I'm just sayin'....

Do you know about Sargent? I know that's not how you spell it if you are in the military, but that's how you spell it if you are my dog.
I don't much care for dogs. They are, if you ask me, icky.
This particular dog became ours because my Mother claimed that every little boy Must Have a Dog. Otherwise they won't grow up normal, see? So she bought us a beagle.
Beagles howl. Incessantly.
Dog hair will find it's way into your cooking, if you have an inside pet. It will! Plus, your clothing will always have dog hair on it. It's like cigarrette smoke in that way. This is why my dog stays outside.
I have made some progress in Canine Compassion. I began allowing the dog to sleep in a crate in my kitchen after the neighbors complained. Most of the time the dog stays outside. He howls at squirrels, and people, and motorized vehicles, and blades of grass, and oxygen.
Everyone else on the planet likes dogs, though. Why is it that I am the only one who thinks they are unsanitary, expensive, and loud? Not unlike children, come to think of it. Or men.
And little boys don't take care of dogs. Moms do. I don't actually Touch it, you understand. But I do have to constantly remind the young ones to feed, water, and walk the Animal. They love it in an emotional, warm-fuzzy sort of way.
You should see how much they love the dog when I send them out with a plastic bag and a shovel. Then they are all ready to grow up without a dog. I can't get rid of it though. It's too late, because now it's a responsibility thing.
There's a lot of things about dogs that gross me out, besides the hair and the howl. They consume their own vomit, and that's actually mentioned in the Bible, so I am not just being shocking. They do that licking thing, too; That is NOT okay. And the Sniffing. Why must I submit to being smelled by a nose that has recently inhaled the wrong end of other beasts, and newly dampened fire hydrants? They are gross.
This is how I feel about dogs, and I admit this as a sort of confession. There is counseling available for people like me, but I don't much care to be cured.
You can like dogs, though, and I'll still like you.

Walmart

I am better now.
Yesterday I went to Walmart. I needed to get groceries and M' wanted to purchase weaponry. My children like weaponry, as I do. I prefer elegant weapons like swords, and sticks, and fans and stuff like that. If you are going to inflict bodily harm, you should look good while you do it.
My boys like those things, too. However, they are more efficient. They like firearms. Big Guns. It's a boy thing.
I wandered into the baby girl's clothing section while I was there. You know, of course, that I have a neice; I bought her a new outfit. Maddie is my New Favorite Person to Shop For. My kids are jealous, but they are no fun to buy for. They won't wear what I want them to anymore. So I bought Maddie a black onesie thing and a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt that is fushia and black. I love to see babies in black, because pink and blue are so overdone.
Did I just say that pink is overdone?
M' has decided that he wants to start wearing pink shirts. He also likes big guns, so I am not all that concerned. He claims that pink is "preppy." What is preppy? It sounds expensive.

Woe is me

My depressions are really stupid to blog about becasue they are as frequent as can be, and they are gone as fast as they appear. I'm not very good at being depressed, if you want to know the truth.
I was telling Kara today about how life really is a series of sorrows. Actually I think what I really said was something vulgar from a bumpersticker.
But life is hard. It never seems to be easy, for some reason. Everyone I know has something, or a lot of somethings, that make it nearly overwhelming.
I am Pollyanna, and I find the silver lining most of the time. I usually turn the silver lining into Gold and think I've found a great treasure. That's why I am so happy most of the time. I am delusional.
Most of the time.
And then a friend breaks my heart.
Or a man breaks my heart.
Or a friend's heart breaks.
Or something else breaks, like my youngest son's window. Which is expensive and neccessary.
Or something sad, that casts a solemn shadow over my little world. And then I feel the weight of it.
But there is so much beauty, and so much to be thankful for. Right?
.......................
Ok, I was writing here..................... and then I decided to erase, because it sounded like Melodramatic Poetry from Junior High School. I hate it when I do that.
The only possible remedy is a good night's sleep.
But I'll tell you some of the things that make me sad today.
One friend is off to a funeral.
One friend is facing financial ruin.
One friend that I dearly love has been out of my life for a couple years, and I am still sad about it.
One friend has to daily cope with a loss too powerful to heal.
And me? I am just feeling sorry for myself because I am going to be single forever and I will never have more kids or financial security or sex.
But my toe is healing, so that's encouraging. What was that line from The Princess Bride? "If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything."

are you all still out there?

Ok, you people are going to give up on me pretty soon. I have had a bunch of bad luck on the computer, and Lynda keeps having to rescue me. This thing seems to be doing most of what I need it to now, though. Hopefully I am back for good.
I will update you on the exciting and varied events of my humble life in the next day or two. For now, I have alreay been looking at this screen for an hour, so I need to go find nourishment.
I'll be back here soon....

where where you in 1981?

I haven't written 2006 on a check yet, so that's good. I am pretty comfortable with the year being 2007.
I was remembering my sixth grade teacher, a certain Mrs. Taylor, who drew our attention to the fact that we would likely see the dawn of the new millennium. She told our class that most of us would be 30 years of age in the year 2000.
I hadn't considered that I would ever be 30. My own mother was about 31 then, and she was Very Old.
Mrs. Taylor liked to speculate about what the turn of the millennium might bring. She didn't guess at how freaked out people would be with the thought that Jesus would make His Second Appearance then.
She neglected to mention that our husbands would buy rice and beans by the truckload and whisper about the end of the world.
And the Y2K thing. Who saw that coming in 1981? Were computers even around then? VCRs were soon to make an appearance. And microwave ovens...remember when your family first got one of those? Oh, dear!

And so, here we are. 2007. Y2K books have enhanced our nation's landfills, and we sally forth across the ages.

My own child is in 6th grade, and he has me for a teacher, instead of Mrs. Taylor. I wonder how the world will have changed by the time he turns 30......2025.
That kind of puts those resolutions right into perspective, huh?

The Smurf Turf

It's true that my blog is pink. It's also true that much of the interior of my home is pink. It's tastefully done, no matter what my children say. As feminine as this is, I will stand and confess that I love BSU football like a man. Go Big Blue.
We watched the Fiesta Bowl last night with beer and pizza. One must drink beer with football. It just isn't a wine thing.
Never in my entire life have I seen such a game.
I was thinking about writing all about the game, like one of those female sportscasters they always have on the sidelines of professional games. Why do they do that, but the way? It's Very Politically Correct.

"Let's go to Pink Polly on the field with our Quarterback..." Says Former Football Sportscaster

"Hi, FFS!!!! I'm here on the field with Our Quarterback!!!! Quarterback, how does it feel to have won the game?" asks Pink Polly.

What do you think Q is going to say?
"It really sucks to have won, to be honest."

It's an assinine question. Every player gets asked that, though. I'd love, just once to ask a winning player something like, "Hey there, big guy. How is the win here going to change the course of your life and make you a more productive member of society?" I think that would be a fun question.

Anyway, I am now way off track.
The point was that BSU played this remarkable game that saw me screaming at the TV and barking at my children to be quiet so that I could hear every word. It was wonderful.
Quite wonderful. Great job, BSU.
Now I have to go off to the doctor to se if this toe has begun to heal............