Fast, but not quick

I haven't eaten today, and I'm hungry. When I'm hungry, I get sluggish. When I'm sluggish, I get moody. When I'm moody, I get mean. And the shin bone's connected to the knee bone.
M is still on math. He's invested several hours in it. A bit of focus would go far in that young man's scholastic endeavors.
D has been bored for hours.
I'm still in PJs.
All in all, it's not bad as days go. It could be worse. It will be worse, if I don't generate more hours at the grindstone.
Lacrosse starts soon. It's a season unto itself around my house. I love the sport, and I love that the boys are so into it.
Right now D is in Basketball. He's the team captain, and he's so cool. Saturday was his first game. His team won 24-4. My kid scored 14 points. Who's a proud mom?
I am kind of a bookworm, yet I'm raising a couple meat heads. How is that possible? They're jocks. Athletes. Hotshots.

Someone should shower soon. By 'someone' I mean me. I talked my man into a date this evening, so I need to clean up a bit. I don't go out in public without makeup so much anymore. My man is a handsome one, and he takes tremendous care with his appearance. I have gotten sloppy over the years, and I'd be very embarrassed to run into him looking all frumpy.
For years, no one cared if I had hairy legs. No one cared if my hair had been in a ponytail for a month straight. No one noticed if I was hideously ugly, because no one looked very close.
Now, there's someone I want to make proud. Isn't that a twist? I remembered that I used to enjoy dressing up, doing my nails, and smelling fresh. Now, I'm back to it, and it's very much fun. Maybe I'll write a fashion blog about classic couture on a thrift store budget. What do you think? Would anyone read it?
It would be a great excuse for shopping more.

Sunny Monday morning

I had a party yesterday which involved food and wine and free stuff. Totally fun. The rules were that each participant needed to bring stuff they wanted to get rid of, plus a bottle of wine and food to share. Then, we shopped each other's stuff for free. This is Patsy's bright idea, and we do it every couple of years. You should try it. I got books, clothes, perfume, lacy doilies, and make up.
I love to entertain, but have done so little of it in recent years. It was pleasant, indeed, to have a room full of friends for the afternoon. Girlfriends are a bit of a luxury these days. It's increasingly difficult to invest in them. Partly, this is due to my romantic relationship, and partly, it's due to my schedule. I was reminded yesterday, that some friends will be there for years, despite the fluctuations of life.

In other news, I discovered that my eldest son has Levis that fit me. I stole them before church yesterday. I may never give them back. They look different on me than they look on him. He looks gangster when he wears them. I look a bit squeezed in. But they work, and they've expanded my blue-jeans options.

My house is silent, and I am not rushing off to work this morning. This makes me loathe to wake my children for the schoolday. However, we really need to get going with that pretty soon. I am torn, as usual, between my desire to be home, and my real need to work.
Tim and I were discussing our mutual desire for peace and tranquility in our respective homes. We were using different imagery to express our perspective on the matter. I think of home as a calm harbor, a shelter from the storms of life. He thinks of it as a walled fortress, keeping the world out. He chuckled, as we were discussing this, and wryly commented that between the two of us, "We've got 'em by land or by sea."
Unfortunately, that tranquility I love gets seriously impared when I am stressed about a lack of money.
Just this week, we had a reminder that God always provides. We had been skiing on Friday, and D's shoes got stolen. I was worried about the expense of replacing them. We stopped at the store on the way home and bought shoes anyway, because it had to be done. M commented that God always provides, and that I should not worry. When we got home, I grabbed the mail and found a gift of 100$. It included a note saying that "God is Always Faithful." Indeed, He is.

Well, then....the day is beginning without me.
I must away!

Just checking in

What blog?

I sat next to Celise tonight at church. I was there because Tom is teaching and Tom is the best teacher in the universe. Next to Jesus. Only, sometimes I have a hard time understanding Jesus, and I am alsways pretty clear on what Tom is saying.
Celise is, like me, a deranged single mom who likes to torment herself by home educating her children.
Love her.
I was telling her how busy I am. When I tell Celise about my single-home-school-working-mom troubles, she really gets what I'm saying. I can tell the story with a gleam in my eye and a sense of commradarie. And also a lot of self pity. It's quite satisfying, really.
She's lovely and men hit on her a lot. She's pretty smart, though, and she isn't sucked in. She is committed to parenting with all her heart, and that makes her easy to connect with. I hope she finds a fantastic man in her path one of these days.

I should have sprinkled a few more commas through this text. Will you forgive me?

Tom is teaching on the Minor Prophets in the bible. But this guy loves languages and history, so he's ever chasing one of those two tangents. Which, we all know, is right up my alley. He has a quick mind, and never says "um," which makes him a fantastic speaker. It's very intellectually stimulating.
And since I have so much free time, I signed up for his class.
It's pretty convienient, because youth group is at the same time. My eldest gets a social outlet, with a bit of teaching for himself, and I get to sit still. It's a win-win situation.

Now, it's time for me to wind down, so I can hit the ground running in the morning. At 5:30 am, in case you were wondering.
G'nite.

Freaky Skiing

Skiing yesterday allowed me a rather unique experience. This is because the young woman with whom I was skiing, got fearful at the top of a run and insisted upon removing her skis. She walked all the way down the hill. Backwards.
I am not even making this up.
No one has more compassion on a fearful skier than I do. I am the biggest baby you ever saw on skis. I like to feel totally safe and in control at all times. Much like how I approach real life, come to think of it.
But, nothing prepared me for this experience.
Part of my frusteration was that I could do nothing to help. It was an easy run. She never once hit a speed that was faster than I could crawl without arms and legs. I was cheering her on.....right by her side....encouraging. But, for some reason known only to her, she decided that she was going to walk. This was very likely the faster option.
My children, who reached the bottom of the run over an hour before we did, had allerted the ski patrol. Which was, no doubt, the sane thing to do. They had no idea what could be taking us so, so, so long.
She took mincing steps, backwards, down the very center of the traffic flow. While dragging her skis and poles. I skied about ten feet at a time, then waited for her to catch up, then skiied, then waited. All while turning to ice due to inactivity.
I would have cried if I were not concerned about my eyes freezing shut.
Instead I sighed frequently, and laughed manically from time to time.
"Are you mad at me?" She asked several times.
"Um...yeah. I think I am. But I'll get over it"

We actually had loads of fun skiing. Mostly. I was on the hill for seven hours, which was good excersise for the most part.
Today I am sore. And I think my sense of humor has returned.

The day ahead

I was up half the night finishing World Without End. Wow. That's really all I can say. Go get it, read it.....no, you really want to.
The downside is that I haven't picked up the other book I'm reading. Perhaps today I'll have a chance, but I doubt it.
Today is a day of skiing. This is an important 'field trip' for my home schooled young'uns. We love to ski. Well, M loves to board. My dad gave us each 3 day packages as a gift for Christmas. It would seem that Spring conditions prevail at the local resort, so we're packing our sunscreen and going off for the day.
There is so much in my head, I wish I had an hour to write to you. Alas!
Have a glorious Friday, friends.
I'll catch ya later

Books and teenagers

I began reading a book by Anne Lamott, and I can see already that I'm going to like it very much. She has a random sense of humor that makes me laugh unexpectedly, and a rambling style that conveys truth indirectly.
Do you suppose people are more real in their writing? Which is to ask, can you really know a person just by reading them? Pen pals develop relationship all the time, but I wonder if the face-to-face is the same? I would think not.
When I do a satisfactory job of putting my thoughts on paper, so to speak, you and I can both see what my thoughts have been. But, it doesn't look much like the me who does laundry and barks at my kids. Life is not really lived in theory, but in the mundane. The theory has everything to do with how we approach the mundane, of course. I wonder if I'd like Anne Lamott, if we were to spend an afternoon together? I think about this with authors. Or with bloggers, for that matter.

I'm still reading the book World Without End, by Ken Follet. I'm almost done, and it's mind-blowing. It's very very long, but I just know that I'm going to grieve when it's over. These characters have become quite real to me. Which is nice, because I have very little time for real relationship lately. This way, I can visit with my imaginary friends just before I doze off to sleep, and I feel like I have some variety to my social life.

Last night I actually saw two real life friends, Kara and Celise. They were attending a class that I went to. It was just like being a real person with a life, instead of a working mom who needs some sleep.

This working mom needs to get some housework done. I can sleep, or I can clean, but I can't really do both. There are two disaster-causers living here with me, so I am fighting a rather formidible battle. My eldest has a thing with Apricot Jam. It's homemade, see, and so delicious. He'll spoon heaps and heaps on his toast, and then dribble it all over the house. There's jam on the doorknobs, the floor, the sink....everywhere. Mostly, he is quiet hapless in this way with every possible mess. The kid leaves a trail, I tell you. Then he puts an arm around my shoulder and says, "I love you mommy! You're beautiful and slender." Since he is nearly 14, I find this little speech is enough to melt my irritation, and he finds that he has the key to stay out of trouble.

I'm off the topic again.

Back to Anne Lamott.....Have you read this gal? I'll keep you posted.

Here comes the Bride, big, fat and wide

There is seemilngly no end to the ways that I, Kelly, can avoid responsibility.
It's a gift, I tell you.
Just moments ago, in fact, I was daydreaming about my wedding. What I should have been doing is waking my children for the day, and exercising my flabby muscles. In my imagination, I was Grace Kelly getting married in a pale blue silk suit, with lots of splendid jewelry. Also, I was firm.
It's not like I am engaged, or anything. I just fantasize about weddings on account of being single. It is what single women everywhere do.
People who ask me when he is going to propose often follow-up with an RSVP to my wedding. I'm not having a wedding, I hope. Who would go thru that twice? I very nearly killed my sweet mother over my first wedding.
Weddings are expensive and stressful. I do not want to have a second wedding. I do want a lovely new dress, an official pronouncement....and then I would like to be left alone with Tim for a long time. Is that too much to ask? I was thinking that a pastoral sort could come to the house and preside over vows in the living room. This is my idea of an ideal second wedding. Therefore, no RSVPs are necessary.
Just so you know.
So, when do you think he's going to propose?

Hello commenters

Well, hi there, everyone. I didn't realize you were all still out there. How nice to hear from you!
Do you know what I did today? I hit my alarm clock when it commanded this morning at 6, and I went back to sleep. Until 9.
What responsibilities?

There is plenty to do, today. I have school, work, and a disasterous house.
So, I am blogging instead.

Another quick post, I guess. I'll try to give you more in the very near future.

A Quick One

I used to wonder why people would quite blogging. Now I can see that it would be fairly simple to quit. Mostly because of not having time or inspiration. I don't want to quit, though. You'll have to be patient with me for a while. This current phase of my life is busy enough that blogging is an afterthought.

How I look forward to the days of Summer! In my imagination, Summer is all relaxing. I see myself lounging by the pool, sipping a cool drink, with Tim telling me I'm slender and beautiful. In my imagination, I am married, the bills are paid, and I weigh about 115.

But, for now, we shall deal with winter, work, and wishing.

Needing a drink

The horrific roads? Were still there this morning. The good news is that it only took me TWO HOURS to get to work this morning. It's a good thing I have so much time to waste. I had to make stops for two potty breaks and one coffee refill in a ten mile, two hour drive. Fun.
When I got home, I shoveled the driveway and the sidewalks, cooked dinner, cleaned the house, and corrected my kids' attempt at schoolwork. Who wants to come to my pity party? Bring wine.

Boyfriend is coming over this evening, which is why I bothered with the cleaning. I am very crazy about him, still. I am also so tired that I almost fell asleep with food in my mouth at the dinner table. Which would have been pretty. I am sure my extreme exhaustion won't hamper my sunny disposition in the slightest.

Shouldn't there be a more dignified word for "boyfriend"? When you are over 35, or so, it sounds a tad bit silly. "Significant other" is for an unmarried, living together couple. "Boy toy" is inaccurate. We should come up with a new word. Any ideas? "Man Friend" sounds really wrong.

Shhhh....

Today went swimmingly. There was oh so much productivity in my humble abode, and only one unexpected change in my carefully-plotted schedule. My formal employment was cancelled today due to the weather. This meant that I didn't have to leave said abode for any purpose whatsoever. It also means that my careful employer won't be paying me for my time. But, we can't have Idaho drivers sliding willy-nilly on all that ice and snow, now, can we?
My morning included a brisk pace to accomplish spiritual meditation, hearty exercises, and a much-needed shower before 8 am. We began home education promptly at 8, and enjoyed the betterment of our collective intellect, until shortly after lunch.
I am Super Mom.
The fact that I didn't need to go to work aided in my attitude, as well as my productivity, as perhaps you can imagine.
When mommma is happy, everyone's happy. Eh?

The house has been full of frigid air all day. Never mind that I keep bumping the knob on the thermostat up bit by bit. It's cold in here, because I see snow out every window. If it were 65 in the house, but I knew it was a hundred outside, I wouldn't be chilly. Why is that?

It is quiet, though, and that is a glorious thing.
Since I got so much done today, I am encouraged by the thought of tomorrow. The roads are likely to be bad then, too, but I'll still need to work. It's going to be a long day, but after this day, I think I am ready to face into the challenge.

It's common to be busy, at least among those that I know. Stillness is rare. It occures to me that Jesus never looks rushed when I see Him on the pages of Scripture. The bible says a lot of "Be Still," "Abide," "Wait," and the like. Why don't I see this in the Christians around me? We, like Martha, are busy with many things.
Where is the time to listen for the "still, small voice?"
I definately have a full schedule. In fact, I am going to be hard-pressed to get done all I must do this week. However, today has reminded me that quiet must be my inner condition.
It's a much needed reminder.

Party like it's 2009

The week ahead is planned and plotted on several charts, graphs, and college ruled sheets of loose leaf paper. I have my own schedule, including work, homeschool, bible study, dating, and my workouts. The boys have individual schedules of schoolwork and chores. There is no way I'll get it all done.
Tonight we're going to bed early.

House church is changing. What I mean by that, is that everyone quit. Apparently, once Tim and I got together, God Called everyone else away. This works well for us. We met today, and enjoyed a lively discussion. It's quite amusing to note that between the two of us we can generate quite a bunch of debate and conversation. We are kind of a bible study unto ourselves.
In truth, I think God is up to more that just giving Tim and I alone time. There's more happening, and I can hardly wait to see what comes of this.

The weekend has flown by. The week will, too. DO you think that staying so busy burns a lot of calories? I hate to be so busy. It's ok, though. SO many people have no work at all right now. I am thankful for the work I have, and thankful that the kids are old enough to be a help. It's only temporary, right?

If I am burning calories by my busyness, I might be able to smile about my schedule. Have I told you about my scale? It's wrong. Buy several pounds. I heart my scale. It says I weigh 122 pounds. I often stand on it as I begin my day. Even though I know it's wrong, it's very like having a talking mirror that says, "You are beautiful." Many years ago when I was a size 2, I weighed 125. This is how I know my scale is off. I am not currently able to fit my left wrist into a size 2. Ergo, I do not weigh 122. But, who cares?

Have you any new year's resolutions? I don't. I don't have time to resolve, much less to do.

That's what's on my mind. In case you were wondering. Which, you seem to have been doing, else you wouldn't be here.

"Leave your livestock alone"

I'm taking stock of my life, as tradition demands. The findings are predictable, as always. I need to workout, my homeschool needs some consistancy, the house needs to be de-cluttered, and my finances could stand an increase. So, I'll throw a few things away, perhaps I'll touch up my dark roots, and I'll thumb through a fitness magazine. Then, we'll be back to normal by dinner time.

Things changed in my world over the past year, but the changes have been gradual. I am now working part time outside of my home, and that's significant. I began dating my friend, which is also significant.
Mostly, though, I am looking forward. The horizon is rushing nearer, and I am looking at the coming year with a sense of anticipation. In '09, my boys will turn 14 and 13. I will turn 39. There's lots of possibility for us beyond the birthdays, obviously. So few things are certain!

Coffee is certain. I am thankful for that. In fact, I am going to go consume my daily quotient immediately.

Happy New Year.
2009