Blooo-ue Moon and the Evil take over of America

You know how I think that TV is of the Devil? My opinion does not extend to movies, except for rated 'R' movie. Those are certainly of the Devil.
We watched New Moon last night.
Rather, I watched it, and Tim rolled his eyes dramatically until I suggested that he move out to the patio so he could watch basketball, which he promptly did. I loved the books in spite of myself. The movies just are really terrible. Does anyone besides me notice that none of the people can actually, you know, act? Am I the only person who thinks Edward looks malnourished and disheveled? In the books he was sort of an old fashioned and noble hero who was strikingly attractive. How come that didn't make it onto the movies?
Maybe the story just doesn't translate onto the big screen. As it played out in my imagination while reading, the whole thing worked. More or less. On the screen it looks ridiculous.
That's my opinion.
I'll see the next movies, though. 'Cause I'm hoping they get better.

Are any of you watching Washington today? I have strong opinions on all that, too. We'll see how the "vote" goes today. I may be complelled to write about politics and evil dictators tomorrow. You never can tell.

The first day of Spring

I spent the morning and a good part of the afternoon with Jenine. She came over to do my hair for me, as she does about once a year. I am fairly goofy about my hair. I am paranoid that some wicked stylist will cut off several inches, so I seldom darken the door of a salon. Stylists do that, you know. They hate to see simple long hair. Something within them makes them want to cut off all that length. Jenine has never removed more than the merest whisp of the tip of my hair. Love her. Now, here's the thing. I hate to inconvienence her. So, I only call her when I've done a really bad thing with the color of my hair. Take this time, for instance. I recently tried to highlight my hair at home (I refuse to pay an evil stylist a gazillion dollars to do it.) My hair ended up resembling leopard print. Seriously splotchy. (Is that dark with yellow spots, or yellow with brown spots?)
Every time I call Jenine over to repair my color and give me a trim, she says the same things. Such as, "why do you always do this?" Or, "Just call me next time." I always say the same things about how I'm trying to save money and I hate to bug her. We pretty much don't need to talk.
She labored over me for about 4 hours. Like giving birth. Bless her patient, ever-loving heart. Someone remind me to call her before it comes to that again. I'm fairly certain she wouldn't volunteer to birth any of her 8 children more that once. What gives me the right to cause her that much labor?
My hair looks cool. It's all light and Spring-y. Very unlike the look I had going before her loving care.

I totally forgot to tell you about the Alice in Wonderland movie, didn't I? It was good. Not great, maybe, but few movies are these days. I read the book to my kids a few years ago, and that book is always better. The movie seemed pretty true to the heart of the story, if not to the actual plot. The Queen of Hearts was fantastic, the good queen was so totally not. The Mad Hatter was good, I thought, though I kept seeing Jack Sparrow. I liked Alice, and I want her hairstyle. (That's what I'm aiming for, Jenine. K?)

We're currently sitting on the patio, pretending it's warmer than it is. Tim is watching the basketball nonsense that dominates Men in the month of March. I am obviously blogging. What are you doing?

I ate a mastadon, only with less protein

If salt and fat were the keys to youth and slenderness, I would be Karen Carpenter.
Which is a joke in rather poor taste, I'll admit. Poor taste seems to be the operative phrase. I have developed the appetite of my youngest child: French fries and pizza, punctuated with the random candy bar.
What health kick?
You'd think it was some sort of hyperactive PMS, but for the lengthy duration. I suspect that a combination of stress, and tiredness, are to blame. It sure ain't my fault.
If you tell me that you've never eaten an entire bag of chips, I won't believe you. I've been doing the like, daily, since returning from the hospital.
Sleeping a lot might serve me better.

I watched a movie tonight that you so want to go get. It's a feel-good love story that is really quite funny. New In Town. Go get it. It's rated PG. My eldest rolled his eyes at the rating, but he laughed during the movie. I watched it while eating several bags of microwave popcorn, and a healthy dose of a bottle of white. And also an apple. And a Hershey bar.
What?

I was thinking of all of you out there in blogland, just yesterday, as I climbed over Tim's rooftop in a silk skirt and Cole Haan sandles. Ya just never have a camera when you need it! The only ingress to the addition is from the ladder, see. You have to climb
up the ladder,
over the little roof thingy, and
in thru the window.
(Prepositions, you know.)
I was worried about two issues, once I navegated the ladder part.
1.Slivers in my backside from the window, and
2.flashing the neighbors.
I think that perhaps the funniest part would have been where I was trying to mount the ladder for the rickety decent, whilst the man-I-love tried to steady the thing with one hand, and keep the wind from wreaking havok with my modesty, with the other. It would have have been uproarious, were we not in peril of plumeting to our deaths. I managed to be amused, whilst I flirted with death, and his careful hand upon my, er, skirt.

Michael is mostly recovered from his own near-death experience. He does seem to have retained a rather persistant pain in his abdomen, that may warrent a call to the doctor tomorrow. If someone like me complains of pain, it means that I am searching for creative conversation. If My Man-child complains of pain, it means that his body is going to fragment, or develop internal gangrene, or something. It isn't good. I'm certian the doctor will be delighted to receive my call tomorrow.

Now that you are up on my glamour-don'ts, and my eating habits, I shall bid you a very fond goodnight. You should comment, and tell me the most regretable thing you've eaten lately. Or just leave me to my misery. Either way.

To boldly go....

...Where no man has gone before.
Which, given my celibate decade-long history, could suggest rather a tawdry post. Alas, the reference is pure Star Trek.

I am really excited about the new movie, and we are going to see it, sans children, Friday night. The Summer movies are a reason for heart palpitations, in my book. Of course, so is Tim, and this Summer particularly, given the approaching marriage. Did I mention that he seems to like me? No, I mean it. Demolition/construction begins on his house tomorrow. He is building rooms for my boys, and also a bathroom, and also a bit of storage. Because he loves me.

Last weekend we saw Wolverine. Do not believe those silly reviewing people, because the movie was great. Lots of explosions and comic book violence. Plus, Logan was totally hot in the movie, and the quality acting was superb-ish. I give it lots of thumbs up.

I am on the edge of my seat waiting for the new Harry Potter, too. Half of my readers are now convinced that I am going to Hell for saying that. Harry Potter is the Bomb.
Also, the new Night at the Museum is coming out soon. That first one was a funny kids movie. We're taking all the young'uns in a couple weeks. I'll give you some sort of review as we see these grand silver screen adventures. I know that's why you read these blogs; For the intelligent pop culture dialogue.

I am a trekie, and there's no help for it. In college I once went to a Star Trek Convention. For real. It was rather an accident, because we totally heard that it was being held at a big hotel downtown, so we crashed it. I don't remember who "we" was. In case you were going to ask.
I have watched Star Trek over the years in the same way that other people watch their soap operas. Back when I had a TV, anyway. It's a pretty serious fixation. Now, they've made me another movie. I heart them.

Movies are really a very fine invention. Which probably indicates that I will be a TV addict once we move in with Tim. TV is like a mini movie. You know how I've taken to watching 24? It's this really long movie, that we watch bit-by-bit, every week. How cool is that?
This is what happens to people who live without a TV. In case you were wondering.

In other news: I have been spending my days with Lacrosse and work. Which is very surprising. Just to spice up my days, I bark at my children for leaving the house in a constant mess.
Sometimes I beat them.
Just kidding.
I tried to wrestle Michael tonight, and he picked me up in the air, and threw me over his shoulder, and carried me like a bag of wheat. He is very strong, and I am apparently helpless in the face of his power. So I hope he behaves. Because if he needs a spanking, I'm in trouble.

Talking to Teens

You know how I just read Twilight, and loved it? Well, the movie was really, super, not-good. It was embarrassingly bad. It was painful to watch.
And that's all I have to say about that.

This book I am reading was challenging parents to consider why they are threatened to discuss some topics with their teenagers.
My teenager and I had a lovely discussion about it. Fortunately, he and I agreed that neither of us is threatened, or shy, about discussing stuff.
So, then we proceeded to talk about a variety of locker-room topics that he gets to encounter when up at the public school for wrestling. You'd be surprised at the things he's seen first-hand at the local skate park, too.
It takes a lifetime to develop that kind of conversational ability with one's kid. He needs to understand that God is not shy about these things. God tells us quite frankly what we need to avoid, and He tells us unblushingly what we can enjoy. I want my boys to have correct information, and to be comfortable having these conversations in the privacy of their own home.
It's not just sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll, either. It's stealing, or cheating. or annoying authority figures. They need to have a freedom to bring their thoughts to me. They should be able to use me as a sounding-board as they figure out how they think about things. They can't always believe things, just because I tell them to. They have to process this stuff. They have to work it out on their own, and I want to hear about it.
I like what I'm seeing. M is way smarter than I sometimes give him credit for. He thinks about things. It sounds like he makes some really good decisions. He makes bad ones, too, don't get me wrong. But when he screws up, he's pretty much able to see why. He applies Scripture to his life situations. He sounds like he's learned from the mistakes of those around him, too. I think we call that "wisdom."
D is close behind his big brother. He's still very young, though. Younger than his almost-12-years. He's a good kid. I'm proud of both of them.
God has done some stuff in these boys, because there's more at work in them than just my inconsistant parenting. There're going to be fun to watch as they grow into men. I look forward to seeing who they are as adults.

Hope springs eternal

Well, now, it's not as bad as all that. Why so downcast, oh my soul?
I got a phone call from a gal I used to work for. She asked if I am still doing child care, and if I had any openings. It's not income yet, but it certainly was encouraging. God can bring manna from the sky, He can provide the work I need. See? No update on our sick friend, but we'll pray and wait.

I saw Narnia again tonight at the dollar flicks. You know, since seeing it just last night wasn't enough. Prince Caspian is a hottie, and so is Edmund.
I love the movie. A lot. I want to marry it.
C.S.Lewis was a pretty smart fellow, if you ask me. Which I know you did not. But whatever.
I'm feeling feisty tonight, can you tell?
So there's this big lesson in the movie. The lesson is that believing in Aslan is the key to victory, waiting for Him is the only way to win. In this, Lucy is my hero. She is determined to wait for Him and follow Him. She really trusts Him, even when she can't see him. It's a whole God thing. Love that.

Outside of the movie theatre, I am back to being a regular person. The idea of fighting for Narnia, in a swirly skirt, appeals to me more. There's a disconnect within me between what goes on in my head and the externals. I believe we've discussed this. I notice it when I say blase things like, " ...fine fine, how are you?" when what I really mean is "It's dreadful! My heart is rent with all that is before me! What dangers are encompassing you?" Normal people get nervous when I talk like that. If only I were in Narnia! They would understand.

In which I compare movies and wine, and I manage to mention God

SO, you know how I wait a decade or so after a movie comes out to actually see it? I have this robust imagination, see, and so I really do not need many movies. Not fresh, anyway.
And if I die, the good wines are in my closet, under the lingerie thingy. Because they should age, too.
I finally worked up to seeing The Count of Monte Cristo. Loved it. Thanks for the recommendation, Kara. Now I am ready to get kissed, which is the unfortunate effect that romantic movies have on my discontented self. I was all happy with my single life, and then BAM! Mercedes finds her true love. I'm ruined.

What is it about the romance that is so darned distracting? It's the beauty, I think. The thrill and the adventure.
I'm going to bring up God now, and if that annoys you, then you are really reading the wrong blog. Seriously.
God fires in me the grand appetite for the sublime. It's because He is the pinnacle of all that can take my breath away, and He leaves this trail that leads only to Him. He is beauty and adventure. He is passion and danger. He is Warrior and Poet. He is Mystery and Imagination. His desire is for Me.
No wonder all men pale in comparison.
But, O! If there were such a man!
...Then I guess I could have both.
And I would be insufferably happy.
And you would have to hate me.

Expelled: The movie

The Creation / Evolution question is one of my personal favorite points of raucous debate. Though I am no scientist, I have done my share of reading and thinking upon this topic. In my humble opinion, it is one of the most dynamic issues of our day, impacting both religious people, and society as a whole.
The movie Expelled is a provocative explanation of the issue. Fantastic movie, friends. If you have the opportunity to find this one still in your local theatre, go immediately.
Who would have thought that a documentary would make it to the big screen? Has that ever happened before? And a documentary about Intelligent Design!
Intelligent Design doesn't equal creation, by the way. It's just the theory that someone smart caused life on earth. It could be a god, or perhaps an alien. It's an alternative to the spontaneous- primordial-slime theory.
Personally, I am a fundamental, bible believing, young earth, 6 day creationist. Which is tons of fun to mention at parties, as robust conversation, (or a lively brawl), often ensue.
Go see the movie. Tell me what you think!

Talk to my Agent

I saw a movie this weekend at the theatre.
P.S. I Love You
If you need a good cry, then this is the very movie that you need to see.
I was trying to keep myself composed, as I was surrounded by loads of people. Had I been in the privacy of my own home, I would have sobbed myself right into exhausted hiccups; a snivelling, pitiful puddle. I hate cry movies, usually, but I was in the mood for it that night.
The movie is about a woman whose husband dies after an illness. He left a series of letters to get her through the first year without him.
It was really well done, I thought.

There was one thing, though:
Someone needs to explain to me why she needed to roll in the sheets with some stranger to sufficiently process her grief.
I know I live in a little bubble, because I am surrounded by fellow homeschool moms. My life is quite sheltered.
But, am I so odd, to be taken aback at the way sex is handled in movies?
There are people who are not married, but live together. There are people who meet and sleep together immediately. Prostitution is portrayed as a necessary service to humanity. Sex is the office talk, the party talk, and the locker room talk. Who am I kidding? We talk about it, too, but not as an Olympic event or a competitive sport.
Mostly, it seems that sex is the point to life and relationships on film. It's the reason that people go out in public, and the reason that they meet new people, and the reason they do everything they do.
Why do people bother to get married at all? Seriously, I wouldn't if I could just go off and, er...you know..., any old time. (Not that there are any offers, but, you know, theoretically speaking.) I wonder if marriage will become obsolete?
I am struck by the way that Movies, and probably television, define the way that such a crucial element of humanity is handled in our minds and actions. Do you suppose that a large part of the populace believes the message sold on film? Do you suppose they think that sex is so important that it must be had at any cost? That's a lie. It will fragment your souls, to pursue it as recreation. It leaves destruction and brokenness in it's wake.
Let's make a movie about a gal whose husband abandons her, and she determines to be obedient to God's Word, and so she goes for ten years or so without You Know What. Let's have this movie show what a struggle it is, but how God blesses her. And I can star in this movie. Sort of Type Cast. How would that be?
No one would pay to see that movie, would they?
Maybe they would.
Maybe it would be such a rarity, that they would line up to see our version of how this could be. Like Ripley's Believe it or Not.

My new favorite quote

.."If I could lend a machete to your intellectual thicket..."
I am going to say this often and with feeling.
It is, I think, really beautiful. And apt.
Can't you think of several instances, right off the top of your head, where this very phrase was called for? I need to practice it, though, in front of the mirror. Otherwise, I am likely to splutter and burst into giggles.
Oh, Jenn, can't we put in the the Lines For Life Club? Can it be our motto?
Do you know who says this delightful phrase? Oh, you must! It's Cap'n Jack Sparrow, from the third movie. I really love him, and I would so be torn, if I were Elizabeth Swan. Truly, I'd need some time to consider which of the fellows to spend my time with, Will or Jack. Sigh! Decisions, decisions!
If you are not reading this with an Anne of Green Gables tone, then you just need to go back to the top and begin anew. Raise the back of your hand to your brow on the "sigh," just so.
That's better.
We watched the 3rd Pirates on Skiing Day. The hill was shrouded in deepest fog, and we elected to sit instead. We did do a bit of sledding in the morning, but that was all the snow we really could take. A movie by the fire was ever so satisfying. I saw the movie twice at the theatre, it was good enough to pay full price for. Now, I just may watch it again tonight, because I want to memorize all of Jack Sparrow's lines.
Why are not all movies like that?

"British" does not equal virtue. Who knew?

So, I hated "Love Actually." I watched a little bit, and ended up turning it off because it is nasty. I figured that it was a love story with British accents, so it must be good.
When I think of love stories with British accents, I think of "Pride and Prejudice." I think of noble purity. Lovely dresses. Handsome gentlemen. Lovely virtuous women.
This was not that kind of movie.
I had put the movie of while I was setting up my new high speed internet thing, so I was not really giving it my undivided attention. My 12 year old walked in and, in an alarmed voice, he directed my attention to the DVD player. Whoa! That should not be done in front of a camera!
It is rated "R", that's true. But I guess I wasn't sure what that meant. Now I know.
Maybe I should go back to books sooner rather than later.....

Holidays from Hollywood

The holidays are upon us, have you noticed? One of the Most Important elements of Holiday-ness is Movies. I rented two Christmas-mentioning movies this weekend, and I offer you my reviews:
I know that I am totally behind the times, movie-wise. I don't really care, either.
I just saw the movie called "The Family Stone" and I loved it.
It's Christmas time and the five siblings all come home to their parents home for the holiday with an assortment of spouses, lovers, and children. This movie actually includes drug use, immorality, homosexuality, lots of alcohol, and bad language. It sounds worse than it is. Actually, they don't show you anything wildly inappropriate, they mention such, though. I usually stay away from movies like that, only this one actually reminded me of my own family. We're a mostly Christian family, and yet we have all those elements. Don't you? The thing about it that reminded me of my own family, was how much these people love each other. They laugh together as easily as they cry together.
I loved the movie the same way I loved "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

We also rented "Edward Scissorhand" Which was a total waste of cinema. That movie is depressing, and pointless. Which is, now that I think of it, totally unlike my family. We are neither depressing, nor pointless. Inappropriate, sometimes. Immoral, here and there. But never pointless. And we are usually quite happy.
I can't wait for the holidays!
We have to wait for Thanksgiving to watch "White Christmas". That's the law.
What are your favorite Christmas movies?