I'm fat

I have been eating unbelievable amounts of really good food. This is the leading cause of obesity.
You know how we always say that age slows down our metabolism? There may be some truth in that, but I don't know. I think that the real thing is that as I get older, I appreciate good food with candlelight and soft music and wine. It's a whole sensual experience. Heaven knows I don't get many of those!
I care less about what I look like in swim wear.
Gaining weight = going shopping for new clothes.
Lively accessories cover a multitude of sins.
Do you see how I am feeling about this? Here I sit writing to you rather than running. I am deeply happy about it!
Plus, all of my friends seem to be doing the very same thing. Why would I want to make them look bad by being all skinny? (this is where I nudge Kara).
See?
Eating makes me happy, gets me shopping, fulfills my need for creativity and sensuality, and it makes me a better friend! Why would I stop?