My new Cell Phone

I bought a new cell phone.
My old one was wonderful and I loved it. It wasn't a camera, a camcorder, or an MP3. It had a few ringtones to choose from and a black and white display.It was very user friendly. But, alas, it has died.
My new one is like the updated version of the same thing. Kind of like getting the latest Toyota Camry. And it has Everything.
It can talk to me, sing to me, photograph me, and charge me extra for random services I didn't know I could access. It's very intimidating.
I got a great deal.
As a Poverty Stricken Welfare Mom (P.S.W.M.), you would think that I should take the free phone. And I might have, only this was very nearly cheaper. I called the customer service people and asked for a manager... and then I begged. I got the coolest thing going for $24.99.
But, I have no idea how to use it.
First of all, the screen that you start with has nine different icons on it that represent the service you will find if you click on it. It's bright colors dazzled me to the point of confusion. It took me a solid hour to figure out that actual words appeared at the top of the screen each time I scrolled over an icon. These words were far more helpful than the bright pictures, because they told me what each icon would do.
Once I figured that out, I set about to personalize the way it rings. The powers-that-be have given this Super-dupper phone only one ringtone. It's excruciating. Shrill. Painful. That way, I, and those within earshot, will desire that I purchase a designer ringtone immediately.
There's wallpaper, too. That's the calming picture that acts as a sort of screensaver. This was brilliance on the part of the designer. There are about 5 options for this feature, and all of them are soothing and peaceful. That is the only way to keep me from throwing the blasted thing every time it rings.
I was going to cancel my service to be frugal. I really was. But I thought a bit about the Value of applying my Rationalization Skills, and I came up with these reasons to keep cell phone service:
1. The parents of children I watch need to be able to reach me at all times. This makes it a business expense.
2. My children need to be able to reach me when I leave them at home alone. This makes it a safety issue.
3. My car could break down, or I could be running late. This would be a convenience issue, but I figured it would count.
...........What do you think? These convinced me to keep the thing going.
So, now, when you call me, you can expect that the irritation in my voice is due to that annoying ringtone and not to finding you on the other end on the line.
I am accepting donations for the "Buy Kelly a Ringtone" fund.