I was thinking about death again. I do a lot of that, for as cheery as I am.
Well, I have this family orchard. It's too fragmented to be a family tree.
My step-grandmother died a few months ago, and it was deeply sad, as these things are. We had that whole side of that family together for a couple days, and that was very fun, as these things also can be.
Anyway, there are some elements of grief that are common to all such occurrences. Stuff like people doubting one another's motives, lots of hurt feelings, bad people acting worse, good people caught off guard.
I think this stuff always happens because grief is so personal. When my step-mother died, for instance, I was the only living step-daughter she had. No one else on the planet had the same relationship or experiences with her as I did. Because relationships are so unique, then so is the experience of grief. No one else truly understands, so it's a lonely process. It's no wonder that such a blow should bring out the worst in people. Or, the best, I suppose. It's the bad stuff that tends to stand out, though.
Just in case you are wondering; my sister died, my step mother-died, my step-father died, several grandparents have died, one disappeared, and there's more. Those are the really close ones.
When you consider that the mortality rate of the human race is close to 100%, it's really not too surprising. My mother always says that, "Everyone you know will either die before you or after you." But we do seem to do it big in my family. Are you glad you're not related?
Anyway, all of Grandma's belongings are about to be auctioned off. The Executor of the Estate feels that this is the fairest way to distribute her goods. The grand kids are appalled. Nobody gets to chose the items of Sentimental Value to cherish before the public auction. We all get to bid. So, I am going shopping amongst the family heirlooms this weekend. It just makes me ill.
And yet..
How thankful I am that each of the grandkids has bits of my step- Grandmother that no one can take. Her story, my memories, shared experiences. These can't be auctioned at any price.
O, to live in such a way that all the Value of my Estate is in the Sentiments of those I have loved!!
How sad it would be to die and leave no Sentimental Value, rather only distribution of Wealth.
3 comments:
You had somebody disappear? I don't think I ever heard that story...
Yes, an auction seems a bit impersonal... I've never heard of having to bid on your own relatives' belongings. Seems that could cause more division. I certainly wouldn't want to have to bid against my relatives for stuff.
Yes, Cathy, my Great Grandmother dissapeared. She walked out the door and was never heard from again.
And Paj, I think you should let me have that ring now! I would totally go get it fixed. Didn't I give you the candle thingy?
I come from a long line of funeral vultures - it is not uncommon for police to have to be called to quell a riot when the "family" descends for a feeding - will or no will.
So the auction idea does work well. We have used monopoly money for the value of the estate - split amongst the possible heirs and let the bidding begin. Out of monopoly money - too bad, so sad, hope you got what you wanted! Free for all comes after the family auction, and about the time the police have to be called.
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