Ok, I am admittedly not very knowledgeable regarding men. I am raising two little ones, but it's the grown ones that baffle me. Maybe you can help me out here.
Why do men keep a running resume through their conversations like a stock market ticker? They all do this, even the little ones. It's this constant recitation of what they have done, what they are involved with, and what they are qualified to do.
"I can bench press 350"
"In my last job, everyone thought I was so smart. The boss was intimidated by my brilliance."
"I used to earn a million dollars a year."
"I hold 45 world championship titles."
"Chicks dig me! I'm hotter than the sun!"
'Cause I don't care very much, mostly.
You want to give me a resume? So, give me one, already.
I'd like a resume of your work history and education, your romantic history, tax returns for the past 10 years, and a character reference from your pastor. Then, I can decide if you're a success or a failure. But I'm going to check your references.
Women don't do resumes with each other.
We talk about our weight and our nails and our friends.We talk about ideas and emotions and our children.
The moment men start throwing their vital stats and batting averages into a conversation, I have to apply all my effort to keep from rolling my eyes. How can you not?
Maybe I should be a little more compassionate.
Wouldn't it be funny if some man started this vein of conversation, and I just collapsed at his feet? Then he could decided for himself whether I had swooned from the wonder of his brilliance, or passed out from rolling my eyes so hard.
2 comments:
Kelly,
Gosh, I hope I was not the reason for this post! If so, then I really messed up an email somewhere!
Guys have very fragile egos and define themselves by what they do or whom they are. I was at a meeting one time where 180 men were asked to introduce themselves. I was maybe number 18 do so, but over 2 hours later, with only 17 men giving their intro's - it was my turn. So, I stood up and said, "Hi, I am Kris, a mild mannered pervert for a local industrial concern." And sat down.
You could have heard a pin drop it was so quiet - and then everyone exploded into laughter and the remaining intro's were about 30 seconds in length.
I got many a slap on the back that evening after dinner - except for one guy from Guatamala, whom asked exactly what I considered perverted. He was intently interested in my answer. Needless to say I ran!
I have to admit never really knowing how a woman identifies herself!
And PAJ - you are so CRUEL!!!!!! (I actually was the saint!)
Let's have some compassion for us middle aged louts! I need to go lick my wounds now.....
First of all, Kris, I'm totally laughing at your story of the pervert who wanted to know why you were perverted.
paj is correct about married men being taken down by their wives. It's one of my greatest joys to help keep Asia in check.
He tells people he's 6' tall.
I remind them he's actually 5'11".
He tries to say he's only 40.
I pipe in and tell the truth.
He says he weighs 200.
I look at his pot belly and cough ***220!***
He needs me.
Otherwise he would be obnoxious.
Nah - he's a great guy.
Really.
Post a Comment