I bought a water bottle for the gym, and it's useless. It's orange, and it will fit in any cup holder. Style and practicality, who can beat that? It has one of those contraptions on top that you pull up to drink from, and push down so it won't spill. Only, it won't stay up. I can not get a satisfying sip without employing two hands. One to hold the bottle, and one to hold the sipping part open. When it's held in the open position, however, I get equal parts air and water. It's annoying in the extreme. It was cheap, as these things go, but too expensive to throw away. Maybe I could tape it in the open position, and that would block the air...hmmm.
I am leaving for the gym momentarily. We are going to run again. I'll bet dollars to donuts that Jenine pushes the bar to 3.5 miles. She is a slave driver.
I am wearing these little work-out pants with a cutsie saying emblazoned across my expansive bottom. It says "knock-out" and it has a little kangaroo with boxing gloves. They were on a clearance rack at the mall when I saw them, and I swear it didn't occur to me that I was sitting on a declaration of my own beauty. I thought, knock-out, like kung fu. I didn't think knock-out, like I'm-all-that. Now I wear them un-showered to the gym, and I wonder if anyone appreciates the irony. The absurdity gives me a chuckle.
Off I go.
Have a happy day, friends.
3 comments:
O.K. you convinced me, I'm going to the gym.
If you went to anytime fitness they would give you a cool water bottle for free and a t-shirt that I never wear 'cause who actually wears a t-shirt advertising wear you work-out?
see ya!
Oh no...
You wear pants with words across the a**?
Dear Kelly. You are, as you so fondly put it, pushing 40. You may not wear pants with words. No matter how cheaply you got them at the mall. Or what you thought the word meant when you bought them.
I'm here to tell you. As your friend. Give those pants to one of your little sisters. Is there one still who is not a parent? Give them to her. I don't think any woman who has given birth should wear pants with words emblazoned across the rear.
Perhaps you could trade for a water bottle that works?
3.5 miles was my top distance before I gave up running. (I gave it up in favor of flexibility for yoga). I used to run up Chester Ave by Granny and Grandpa's house (the road near the vineyard). Sometimes I miss running, but mostly I like sitting on the couch reading a book instead.
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