I apologize for neglecting you. On Wednesday, last, I found that I needed to be in a meeting in Seattle on Friday. So, I dashed around like a crazy person and flew out on Thursday evening.
It was a business meeting.
Because I am a Business Person.
I have a glimmer of understanding regarding why women leave their homes for the workplace.
It's because they get to wear makeup, and go in public, and schmooze over happy hour. It's very different from changing diapers and folding laundry.
So, I had a real meeting in a high-rise building. At a conference table. I had a briefcase and I wore "business-casual," Which means that I wore the kind of clothing that one irons.
The meeting ran really long, and so I was starving by the time we were through. This necessitated a stop at a lovely business person restaurant where there were lots of other business people discussing business things.
I ordered a Pomegranate martini and a late lunch.
Business people speak in acrostics. They say things like this, "Hey, I need you to order the APS for the ILIT so we can get the MVR ASAP." And I didn't know what we were discussing, so mostly my luncheon consisted of having the acrostics defined for me. Now, I can speak acrostic pretty well.
Also, when you are a business person, you have to walk with a sense of purpose and you have to act like you never do your own laundry. Plus you shake hands a lot.
All the business travelers at the airport were the same. They all have a cell phone surgically connected to their ear, and they carry a heavy briefcase, and they talk loudly. So, I tried to fit in. Only, I hadn't had my nails done, and all the female business travelers had their nails done, so I think they could tell that I do dishes.
Someone asked me what I do for a living, and I said that I am a glorified secretary. A "kelly-girl," if you will. Apparently, I am not supposed to say that. I asked my boss what I am supposed to say, and he told me this whole paragraph. It wasn't acrostic, but it was very foreign sounding just the same. He wrote it down for me, and this is what I am supposed to say:
"Well, I handle the finance and administration for a firm that does very advanced estate tax planning, business succession planning, liability mitigation planning, and privacy planning for high net worth individuals nationwide."
This requires a significant shift in my personal self image. Because I see myself as just sort of a mom, and I do this stuff at my desk in the afternoons. I didn't know, until Friday, that I was a Real -life Successful Business Woman.
I told him that since I can speak acrostic and I am really successful, that I want a raise. Because I need to get my nails done, and I need to go shopping for clothes and makeup. He told me that I have to work for the money, which is very annoying.
Traveling on an expense account is really fun, though. I want to do it again.
3 comments:
congratulations on the job!!!!! Hope it was timely and the other stuff is working out!
So could you elaborate a little? Tell us how you got the job!
Tell us how much you're working!
Tell us how your pomegranate martini was!
I had a boss who said that you had to be able to give a 5-second job description that would blow someone away. This one is too long. Skip all the kinds of planning that the company does because if they want to know that, they'll ask. Just tell them that without you the firm would not be able to handle it's finances, etc (whatever you DO) as well as they can with you because you are brilliantly gifted or something.
That's what I think anyway.
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