Many Mansions

Remember the Family Circus cartoons where the little boy goes from point A to point B in a total curlicue line? He goes over, then under the kitchen table, through the dog house, around the swing set, and so on, and so on.
It's like me.
It's this whole spiritual lesson.
God is my stability, and I daily freak out like that little boy in the cartoon. I run here and there and chase my tail. It's a lot of energy spent. It gets my heart rate all up. Good exercise, huh? It's better than a run!
And I always end up back where I started, at the Stillness that is God.
And I got to thinking about how Jesus says "Abide with Me." That word for "abide" is a word that means something like, "to make your home." And that's what I do. God is the place I come back to. He's where I rest when I'm tired. He's where I hunker down from the storms of life.
God seems to care very much where we "abide," where we make our home. Where we camp out, and find shelter.
When Jesus talks about Heaven, and He says: "In My Father's house there are Many Mansions..." The phrasing is such that what He's really saying is that there are many abodes. I don't know who translated that as Mansions, but I found that rather misleading.

Part of my current crisis is the dread of going to work outside of my home. I do not not want to leave off educating my children, nor parenting them full time. I don't know how parents send their children away for 7 hours a day! Just the thought of it strains my fragile heart to near the breaking point.

Still, there's the Promise that God is my Husband. It is His job to Provide. Right?

I am ever a mixture of panic and trust. Either I am running in a fever, or at rest with the One Who loves me. It's a split personality thing. I think I need therapy.