An imaginary scandal

Cheesecake is an important part of true happiness. I feel strongly about this. There is a man in our house church who makes the Very Most Wonderful Cheesecake Ever. He made it last night, and I knew is was coming,
so I tried to dissuade everyone from coming to eat My Cheesecake,
but it only excited their lust,
and the throngs were there.
House church was great.
Cheesecake is like worship, which is why we like it so much. Don't you think?
Plus, this man at house church, he cleans his own toilets. I know because I asked. I was going to propose, what with the toilets and the cheesecake, but he's actually single, so I thought a proposal would be inappropriate. If he was married, I would totally have asked him to marry me.
The women at house church are all intrigued by him. He's sort of mysterious, because he isn't like their husbands. He is not employed outside of his home, neither does he hunt. This makes him a startling enigma. We all know all about the Husbands in the group, because there are wives to tell the stories. When there is no wife to spill the beans, there's a lot of room for imagination.
I've had the following conversation regarding this particular mysterious man, and I am including it for your enjoyment:

A Married woman, "Kelly, have you noticed the single man at house church? Did you notice that he is, in fact, single?"

Me, "Why yes, I could help but notice him on account of the fact that he is there every week."

Married Woman, "Yes, and he's single...as in, perfect for you!"

Me, "I've known lots of men who were single and most assuredly not perfect."

Married woman, "I wonder if he scrubs his own toilets?"

Me, "Of course he scrubs his own toilets."

Married woman, "How do you know? Have you seen cleaning implements under his sink?"

Me, "No, I am hardly ever under his sink. Why don't you ask him?"

Married woman, "No! That would be too embarrassing. I'll bet he has a nice bathtub."

Me, "Yeah, he's got one of those great big soaker tubs."

Married woman, "You've been in his bathroom??!!!"

Me, "Why yes."

At this point in the conversation, I could see the fire of imagination blazing in my friend's eye. What could I do? So I lied.

Me, "We were totally making out between the sinks in his bathroom because you were all late to house church."