Everybody's Doing It

It's early January, and everyone I know is going to do something about their physical selves. I should so totally diet. I could blog about my calorie intake, and my treadmill. I could post before and after photos (!).
Or not.
Today I ate two eggs and two pieces of toast, all with butter. (Is that bad?)
And for lunch there was Bambie-on-a-bun x2 (that's sloppy joe's with venison)
Why do I have double of everything? It's, like, Kelly Squared.
If I had half as much food, would I be half this size? I'd have to jump around in the shower to get wet, if I was that small. Then I'd be truely happy. Plus, I'd have so many small, outdated clothes from the back of my closet to wear.
All single, celebate girls should be so skinny.
Or, I could bake up a double order of dinner.
One of my friends is in a diet contest involving hundreds of dollars in prize money.
Some blog I read is about a woman giving up junk food for an entire year. I need a truffle, the chocolate kind, just to think of such sacrifice.
Seriously, I'd rather eat two helpings of everything wonderful and just excercise a lot.
Oh, wait...I keep not excercising, too. Like, sedentary squared.
I cannot stand myself as a sedentary person. I am seriously mean when I sit still too long. I need to run, or lift weights, or ski, or hike, or kick somebody's arse (which is not the same as saying a-s-s, because that would be unladylike. I only fight, nicely, in my martial arts class.)
I'll go shovel the driveway so as to feel athletic. After work.....