Fence me in

Every once in a while a number of pieces sort of come together, and I learn something. Not often.

There's this man at house church who often acts strangely to my way of thinking. He seems to genuinely love everyone, and he seems really happy to be a part of the group. Where I come from, this means that one spends every waking hour with said group. He appears to be totally comfortable saying 'no' and missing out on fun. Baffling.
It occurred to me, in a flash of brilliance that he has an ability that I need. See, I've been a student of boundaries, as I really need to get some. And he is displaying a fantastic example.

It came together in my mind thusly:
He is jealous of his priorities,
and generous with his resources.
(You like how the "j" sound makes it poetic?)

I, in contrast, spill out whatever you need, or whatever I think you need, and have no respect whatsoever to my priorities. Mostly because I don't want to make you feel bad in any way, so that you will always like me, and be very happy.
There's a name for that. Co-Dependant.
My mother has called me co-dependant on more than one occasion. You gotta love mothers for that kind of thing.

So, I was in the Goodwill yesterday perusing the book section, and I saw Co-Dependant No More, which caused me a little giggle. I picked the book up, and carried it around while I browsed. It had a pink tag, which meant it was half off, so I figured I'd buy it just for kicks.
The first pages are a depressing succession of stories of people whose lives have been shredded by alcoholism and drug abuse. And we all know how little my life has been touched by that stuff.
So, I skipped around a bit to the section that was Speaking Directly To Me.

Apparently, it is not healthy to worry about everyone else's feelings all the time. I am not responsible for how you feel. Go figure. I am supposed to detach. The bottom line is that I need to do what is right, and let everyone else worry about themselves. My Auntie Margi has mentioned this to me on more than one occasion.

Approximately forty gazillion examples from my own life spring to mind, when I consider ways I have made poor decisions so as to protect someone else's perceived feelings. Plus, the Very Irritating Book said that people who do this, resent the person they're trying to protect.That rings a bell.

Also? That verse from 2 Timothy 1:7 was there. In the book. It was also on the wall in the bookstore I was in yesterday. And it popped up in another book I was reading. It's either the most popular verse in the world, or else God is trying to hammer it into my thick skull.

It's all connected, really. The whole, living with power, and banishing fear. Thinking correctly, and learning to love. Defining my boundaries, and learning to fight for them. "Guard what has been entrusted to you," dummy.

Jealous of my priorities,
Generous with my resources.
And if you don't like it, that's your problem.