My past 48 hours have been an erratic parade of emotional experiences. Most of the melee involved a dog bite. Fortunately, the consequences seem to be working themselves out, with very little to worry about it the rabies department. And that is about all I am going to say on that matter, because frankly, it's already taken way more of my breathless anxiety that I could spare.
One thing I've noticed, is that God really enjoys having my undivided attention. He does seem to orchestrate my circumstances to keep me rather desperate for Him. I keep finding myself in uniquely appointed situations, where I am hanging on the hem of His Robe, so to speak. That awareness of my own need for Him is really priceless.
Nobody in their right mind chooses to suffer, yet God weaves suffering into the fiber of our existence so that we can grow. It's that analogy of "pruning" we so often find in Scripture. He has to trim away those parts which are impeding the health of the whole.
I think of the process of His discipline with a cringe, largely because I expect punishment. However, punishment is not the lot of those of us who have been purchased by His Blood. "Discipline" as we experience it is not punishment, but a series of consequences which train us to behave, and believe, differently. It's quite productive, actually.
In thinking about my weekend, I am struck by the fact that God has used my circumstances, which were not even a matter of personal disobedience, as a means by which to discipline me. No punishment at all, simply training.
Often, I find that He is teaching me something that seems to be unrelated.
Yesterday, I was praying, and I said, "God, I really need You to speak to me today," and I opened my bible at random. It said something about how whether I live or die, I belong to Him.
So, I said, "Thanks, Lord, but I was actually needing something more...Psalm-ish. Tell me You love me, and that every thing's going to be ok." So I turned again at random, and fell upon almost the exact same words in another passage. And, because I am really Spiritually astute, I thought, "hmmmmm, I'll bet that's no mistake."
The lesson?
I am not my own, He bought me. I belong to Him. Any circumstances that flow into my existence, are His Divine right to allow. It's up to me to keep my eyes fast upon Him, and to refuse anxiety.
So, off I go to meet the day's giants and dragons. I am armed with the assurance that whether I live or die, I am the Lord's!
2 comments:
...no, I did not get bitten, neither am I near death. Sorry for implying that.
It seems that you are a good listener, though. I find that happens a lot, "no, answer me this way", and I find myself staring at a paraphrase of the first lesson He was trying to spoon feed me. It's great confirmation, though!
Post a Comment