Does anyone out there have a really fantastic marriage?
I've been single, more or less, for a decade. There are some elements of married life that I would dearly love to have, but I'd rather be single forever than get into a bad marriage.
Is it possible to have a relationship between a man and a woman in which:
-they delight in meeting one another's needs?
-the two genuinely enjoy each other?
-there is profound mutual respect?
-the you-know-what is fabulous?
I know marriages where the spouses don't even like each other. Or, the physical aspect is a drudgery. In some, one partner doesn't even clue in that there's a fixable problem.
What a frightening prospect! Not that there are men lined up out my door with marriage proposals, you understand. I'm just speculating that if I had opportunity to marry, I'd be a little nervous. The odds are so against having a truly delightful experience.
Yet, this relationship was designed by God. He thought it was a good idea.
Doesn't that blow your mind?
Done His way, this should demonstrate such a beautiful picture of God's love for the church. This should be something so winsome, that observers learn about the love of God from what they see.
I know some marriages like that. They are rare, but powerful.
That's what I want, and nothing less. But how do you know at the outset?
7 comments:
I would add the following to your list of what makes a marriage fantastic:
- humor - my husband makes me laugh more than anyone I know
- being challenged regularly by the one who loves me most... he's not content to watch me stagnate. He's know my potential better than I do and challenges me to live up to it. He really is a lot like Christ in that way.
I do believe I'm blessed with a wonderful marriage and I've never taken it for granted. Especially at this stage where it seems like so many of our friends are ending marriages.
It's most certainly worth holding out for.
Yes, I have a fantastic marriage that meets all of your requirements plus Cathy's as well.
You know at the outset if the marriage is going to be a success if going into it the person is already meeting those requirements. If your partner is unwilling to learn, grow and change, then they aren't worth being with.
I don't think you can know at the outset that a relationship is going to be fabulous and all you desire. Having an incredible relationship is like being an incredible person....you have to work on it every second. It's having a good working relationship with yourself so you are capable of having a good relationship with another person.
From my single-persons point of view, so many people enter into relationships and marriages thinking that once the decision is made to be in it, then it will be happily-ever-after. Whether or not we can look at that kind of thinking and relize that it's ridiculous, so many of us do deep down hold that belief to be true. But Kell, you know life isn't like that, and that's why you love life so much! You are fabulous at relationships and if a man finally comes to his senses and realizes what a gem of a person you are, you are going to have a fabulous marriage-because you love the hard work, the struggle, the intense drama of being involved and fighting for the betterment of yourself and someone you deeply love.
The men just need to open up their eyes-the dum-dums.
Maybe we should stay single forever though, cause then I could move in with you and we could be cape-wearing, eccentric, right-brained old spinsters(constantly draping ourselves of chaise-lounges due to the drama of life)!
what do you say?
-j
I hesitate to comment on a thread so heavily frequented by women wiser than I. But I'll display my ignorance.
Here goes- Those I know of that fit into this category have a deep spiritual connection, a mutual and over riding passion for Jesus, to live His life. And the relationships look to me to be ones where true friendship, respect, and healing love prevails. In a word, selfless. I'm fortunate that I know of several like this.
I think they each began by earnestly searching the heart of God first, before they ever sought a mate.
Good idea...
While I wish that all Christian marriages were like those described by you (and Cathy), it is true that most do not give us a needed glimpse of God's love for his church.
My own marriage lacks in many areas, but I do have husband who loves me and my son. He works hard and sacrifices to provide for us and to allow me to stay home to raise my son. He is faithful to me. He makes me laugh (and cry and pull my hair out!)and he really is my best friend. But, he doesn't meet all my needs (even some that I think he should...) However, perhaps that leads me to Christ more often. I would like to think so. If nothing else, it proves that there is no lover of our soul like Jesus. It also causes me to be grateful for what I do have in my husband.
your cousin J
Wow! That's a lot to think about, everyone. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I will take them to further shape my own.
4 out of the above 5 comments are from Js, did you notice that?
You can call me Jathy if you'd like...
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