Things it's not

I did not win the lottery.

I am not getting married.

I am not adopting a child from Romania.

I have not been cast in a Broadway musical.

I did not land a dream job.

I am not going into full time ministry.

I am not cutting my hair.

I am not pregnant.

I did not get a new car.

I am not going to Europe.

....Just in case you wanted to eliminate some of the possibilities.