Those who know me well, know that it's a good thing I am one of them Born-Again-Christians. Otherwise? I would totally be the leader of my own cult.
I have a really alarming Messiah complex. This was lovingly pointed out to me by Boyfriend Who Is Still Learning About Me. What he actually said was, "Do you want to save the world?" Which I do.
The thing that kills me, when I hear of heartache or need, is the fact that I am so impotent to rescue others. You would think that this realisation would go a long way towards reminding me that I am not, in fact, God. It never seems to dissuade me, though.
I was thinking of this again, this morning, as I was looking at how I tend to judge others. I have a really, severely, overdeveloped, sense of justice. I issue proclamation in my head as to whether someone is Right or Wrong. I'm like the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland. "Off with his head!" As if I know enough about the condition of someone's heart to make that kind of determination.
It's quite arrogant, really.
It's very difficult for me to get over the fact, that I do not have the power to save the entire world, or even Ada County. In my mind, I seem to see myself at the head of some joyous parade of adoring, and very grateful, followers who dance to my tune, support my authority, and praise my proclamations. There is medication for this, right?
The God of the Universe, (and I don't mean me), is committed to dethroning me from my delusional monarchy. He Alone has the power to save. He Alone has the insight for judgement. He Alone is capable of leading the planet.
All-in-all it can be very difficult to be me. The truth is that my overzealous desires serve to magnify my inadequacies tremendously. It makes me rather a constant disappointment to myself, as I fight this battle within. Mine is a daily struggle to bend my knee before my Liege Lord. I am always confronted with the ridiculous-ness of my own Pride and Folly.
But God is very patient with me. Far more patient than I am with myself, and so much more so than I am with others.
Pray He keeps me subdued, because otherwise, I'll be dangerous.
2 comments:
You want to change the world? Pray.
Prayer changes everything. Often our perspective. Sometimes, other's.
Think of the impact on America, the world, if only Christians would pray. And, pray for something other than themselves!
Yep, we would see a change in man...
once again i find you & I are very much alike as i struggle with my tendency to judge. But kjp-that answer is exactly right-i must return to praying for those i would size up and judge...must learn how to pray, must pray!
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