I, Kelly Blogger, do hereby accept the people's nomination for President of these United States.
The United States of America will thrive under my confident leadership. I will lower taxes, cut government spending, and eliminate blue eye shadow altogether.
Together we shall bridge the widening gap between the political parties of this Great Union. With this goal in mind, I shall ensure that upon my election, every registered Republican will receive a handgun, and ammunition for their personal use. Each registered Democrat will be provided with a Deciduous Tree with which to better the environment.
Together we will mend the failing economy with the American Values of hard work and sacrifice. The companies that are failing, will be allowed to do so unhindered. Tax write-offs will be given to individuals and families who have no unsecured credit. Stay-at-home mothers will earn a tax deduction for the benefit of their families. Charge cards to retail stores will henceforth be declared unlawful.
With the vision and leadership that I bring to the American people, our future will be secure. Fashion and finance will be my top priorities, and you can count on a Unified, Strong, and Beautiful land, once again.
God Bless America!
7 comments:
Looks like I am already a member of the Red Shoe Platform Party! Being a believer I have forsaken blue eye shadow henceforth, I already am armed and loaded! Since charge cards will soon be illegal, I will just fill mine up and let CitiCorp eat it!
I'm glad that fashion and finance will be top priorities!
I love the idea of a tax credit for those with no unsecured credit and for stay at home moms. Sign me up!
Who should be my Vice? I mean, vice president? This is the burning question on my mind.
You are my new write-in.
-jjs
What? No Blue Eye Shadow?
Boo...
Can I write you in?
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