I am so weary that I would weep, except that there's too much to do. Work has rendered me a useless parent. Poverty has made me a useless gift-giver. Work around the house has made me a useless....whatever. I am tired. Plus people around me are suffering. Either they're quite ill from the development of new life, or heartsick from the loss of life. They're struggling to make ends meet in a crumbling economy. Or loving a child on the other side of too-big-a planet. I'm just tired of such sadness. And of go-go=going from before dawn 'til after dusk.
I had 40 minutes to myself this afternoon, and I closed my eyes. Do you know, I managed to fall fast asleep in that time? Good thing I set my alarm first. Sleeping that swiftly isn't like me.
Working sucks.
Also? I like my job. It's one of those weird things were both are true.
Ok. Now I am off to shower, since I am planning to be at work supper early.
Hug your kids real tight tonight, k? And call your mom. Life is brief.
1 comment:
Oh, my friend. Smooches to you.
I don't mean to diminish the struggle of the change you're experiencing, but you are strong and completely capable of facing this. I think it's more a function of not having your time be entirely your own than it is physical exhaustion. Your brain is having to wrestle with something that isn't your choice - and it's wearing you out. The older I get, the more things like that just suck the life out of me.
Love you. Hope you can find some peace as you walk through this transition.
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