Here is an opportunity to test your skills:
When a woman wears her ugly sweats, and doesn't bother with make-up, she is
A. worrying about her NCAA picks
B. tending towards homicide
C. PMSing
D. B and C
When a woman weeps for an hour over an imagined slight, she is
A. concerned about the Packers potential draft picks
B. PMSing
C. out of sushi
D. B and C
When a woman huddles into the darkness of her closet to rock in the fetal position while sucking her thumb, she is
A. concentrating on which power tool to buy with her tax return
B. PMSing
C. bloated right out of every pair of jeans she owns
D. B and C
When a woman thinks about seizing the family pet and stuffing him in the trunk of her car to secretly dispose of in a remote location, she is
A. interested in switching cable companies
B. PMSing
C. Kara
D. B and C
When a woman throws the children's Math book across the kitchen while loudly proclaiming an end to her homeschooling career and threatening to call her best friend to help her dispose of incriminating evidence involving empty cartons of chocolate ice cream and Pink Floyd cassette tapes, she is
A. unhappy with her 401k performance
B. PMSing
C. thinking of running away.
D. B and C
When a woman, who is loved magnificently by the most sensitive, tender-hearted, thoughtful man on earth begins to entertain the suspicion that he doesn't really love her at all, and he is probably thinking that she is fat and ugly RIGHT THIS MINUTE, and he is never ever really going to ride in on his white horse to carry her away to happily ever after, she is,
A. just like every other ungrateful wench
B. PMSing
C. currently pointing a loaded gun at the guy who picked 'A'
D. B and C
If you answered "A" to any of the above questions, then you are very likely male. This is a terminal diagnosis, and there is no treatment currently available.
If you answered "D" on every one, then, girlfriend, meet me for some sushi. And also chocolate. You are buying.
5 comments:
stuffung him in the trunk? YES! I like it! Do you think that would eventually suffocate him or would I have to find some other way to actually dispose of the little bugger. Wait, I don't have a trunk.
by the way....I picked "d" all the way. i'm with ya sister! right there along with ya in the closet sucking my thumb. can we bring wine to our pity party?
Aw Kelly,
I haven't laughed so hard like this
since one of your previously hilarious blogs. Really, please stop, it hurts my sides.
And I am not admitting to any letters chosen.
OOPS! Gotta go, the Police are here, guess the neighbors called because of all the laughter.
Dad
Wine, whine, and a dead dog in the trunk.
Thanks, dad, I was actually laughing pretty hard at my own joke! Wait....I shouldn't admit to that.
1.E. Too comfortable in her relationships.
2.E. Wrong pick on American Idol.
3.E. Regression. Be very, very careful around her!
4.E. Realizing how expensive those mud caked brown eyes really are to keep and making a household expenditure adjustment.
5.E. Realizing that "Money" is a sin......
6.E. Departing Hollywood and headed head on into reality. Be very, very careful around her!
Gees, Kells, you got every single answer wrong! You have got to think up easier tests......
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