Bridezilla, Part I

I am so glad that I worked today, because, really, could my time have been better spent?
As I merchandised books for the reading public at large, I worked at composing the invitation to our reception. How does one properly do that?
"Announcing the marriage of..." No, that won't work. We won't be married by the time we send it.
How about, "Pretty soon, Tim and Kelly will be married at a ceremony that you are not invited to. As a consolation, we'd love to have you come over to the reception."
Too informal.
Or, "Tim and Kelly and their passel of brats would like to buy you a drink. Come on by..."
It's no easy task. We don't want you to come to the wedding, we just want to have a little shindig. Preferably from 6:00-6:30, and then you can all go home so we can be newlyweds.
Hit the lights on your way out.
Thanks for coming.
This is turning into the party of the century. In my imagination, anyway.
There's cake and decorations and food and flowers and wine and people and discounted rooms at a local hotel for those of you coming from out of town....I'm dizzy. Somebody help me.
Clearly, I have no time for a job.
But I'm tan, and I have a nice ring.
In case you forgot.