Global Cooling, cool criminals, and also my birthday

I am thinking that tomorrow I will have a mid-life crisis.
Tomorrow marks the end of my 39th year on this planet, and the beginning of my 40th. That's a good time to date a blond, and drive a muscle car. Don't you think? I'm going to get on that.

For my birthday, I am going to work. This is something I haven't done on a Monday for a couple weeks, on account of my child's hospital antics. After work, I am going out to dinner with a handsome blond man, and about four children. He actually owns a muscle car, so there you have it. I'm all set.

Michael is gaining weight like a good boy. He has another doctor appointment this week, and I hope they pronounce him fit for duty. I will then have him mow the lawn. See how devilish are my ways?

Today is Father's Day. I allowed Tim to barbecue for me, in celebration. I may never have to cook again, once I marry this fellow. That's very exciting. Why is August so far away? I so need to be married. I Do.

In other news: I am still tired, which I find very irritating. Also, Spring seems to have cancelled Summer this year. What global warming? It's below 60 degrees, and quite blustery today. This is entirely unacceptable for Birthday Weather.
We must all do our part to stop this cooling trend. Cease carpooling. Cease recycling. Cease public school. Do whatever it takes to bring back Al Gore!

Kara and I went shopping on Saturday, and plus also too, we spent money. Old Navy, Target, Kohl's, this is where we worked our magic. It's the Ghetto Mall, and we had a blast. We totally owned those clearance racks.
She took me out to lunch, and we got carded for ordering Mohitos. You know how happy I am when I get carded. It's why I drink.

Oh, wait! I totally forgot to tell you about Don's run-in with the police. Don and his buddy got questioned by the police because they were accused of a crime.
For real!
It was all very exciting. We had neighbors out in their front yards, a police car in front of our house, and interviews with all the witnesses. It was just like back when I was married, only less stressful.
I suppose the only reason it was exciting was that I knew they were innocent, and that the accuser was drunk or insane. Probably drunk. Grandly irascible, and largely illogical, anyway. The officer could certainly see that the accuser was off his rocker.
So it was kind of fun to have that little adventure. Don wanted to know if he now had a criminal record. I told him that he'd actually have to commit a crime. Hopefully he won't.

Now that we've covered that coherent and cohesive line of thinking, I'm going to bed.