Athletics and beauty...or lack thereof

The football game last night was vastly amusing. I've read about parents who become belligerent at their children's games, but I don't think I've ever had a chance to appreciate the phenomenon up close and personal. Fascinating! One mom was really the ringleader, and she was seated right in front of me. She started yelling at the coaches to put other kids in the game, since he seemed disinclined to play more than a handful of his 50 kids. In a flash, other folks had joined in the yelling. Some were yelling at the coach, some were yelling at the yellers. I was wide-eyed and fascinated. It didn't last long, and we got our attention back to the game. Fabulous side-show, though.
Mother was at the game to help cheer Michael on. She can be quite amusing, herself. The part where she was down on the grass, snuggled into the thin bit of shade, peering between the chairs in front of us, was pretty funny. So was the part where she was joking about hiding from the son of one's youth, and thought to clarify that she had said "son" and not "sin." I don't think you could hide from either in the slim shadow of a lawn chair.
The evening flew by, as I knew it would. Michael's team won 20 to 6. It was brutal. Faline then played her first Volleyball game, on the other side of town. I was dashing over hill and dale through evening traffic to get to her game in time. Dinner was Taco Bell at 8:00. I'm sure that's very good for my figure.
Speaking of my figure:
Is it possible that I am gaining weight? I think I might be. It's on account of how Tim eats so much. You wouldn't think his caloric consumption would affect me so, but it does. When he's eating, I feel compelled to eat, too. This is a very slender man, but he can eat massive quantities of food. It isn't fair. Plus, he keeps loads of high calorie snacks in the house. It's very cruel. I'm gonna need to get me some self control.
Oh, also, too, (this idea flows naturally from the last. Not.) I got my new driver's license with my new name on it. The picture was revealing. Did you know that I have stringy, limp, lifeless hair, with no discernible style? Why didn't you tell me? I came home and plugged in a curling iron fast as can be. So, later in the day when we joined Costco, and I got a new photo with my member's card, my hair looked decent. You people need to point these things out to me.