Parenting the masses

I was reading back through blog posts I wrote long ago, back when I used to be funny. I found one that made me laugh, because it is about the man I ended up marrying.

We went out to dinner last night, to a very nice restaurant, and we took the children. For some reason, we allowed the kids to sit at the opposite end of a rather long table, and I was exhausted as a result.
Tim and I sat huddled with his mother-in-law and her sister at the grown up end of the table, with a bottle of wine. My attention was unfortunately divided between the conversation around me, and the antics by the children.
Aaron, who is eight, and energetic, was squirming in an effort to escape his manners. My glares in his direction fortunately kept him in his seat, if barely. Don was encouraging any bad behavior, so I shot him numerous evil eyes, also. He just flashed smiles at me in return.
The other three adults at the table were blithely ignorant of the crimes being committed by the two youngest boys, though how they managed such an indulgent state is beyond me.

I find that the penetrating glare is an effective parenting tool. In fact, I particularly enjoy subtle weapons in my war against childish misbehavior.

When I was a little girl, my mother kept a wooden spoon in her purse. It was an ever-present threat to the possibility of a spanking. Spankings weren't thought of as abuse back then, and you could pretty much smack your kid in public whenever they needed it, (a practice that might bear resurgence, in my opinion.)
So, Mother had this wooden spoon in her purse, and all she needed to do was to look me in the eye, and then look to her purse, and back to my eye. It produced in me a fear of the Lord which immediately altered my errant behavior. Such is the effect I am trying to produce.

It works on some of the children better than the others. Which is to say, that Aaron is the only one I have a prayer of influencing in this fashion. The other three are either bigger than me, or very close to it. The only hope I have of inspiring in them a come-to-Jesus moment, is if He will condescend to Appear Personally.

In truth, they are all very obedient, and I am thankful for that. I'd love to have teenagers intimidated enough by their wise and powerful parents, that a look of disapproval would be adequate incentive to stay on the straight-and-narrow. Alas, I do not think that my evil eye has quite that much effect.

The older children are of an age now where they are inclined to think for themselves, and that is most inconvenient. Gone are the days when I am privileged to chose their hairstyles, their clothing, and their interests. I find myself the proud parent of
one girl who will not wear dresses,
one boys who loves video games,
and one young man who loves the outdoors.
Thinking for themselves, indeed.

And so I am become a student of their individual selves as well as a teacher to them. It's an honor, and wonder. It's a learning experience. It is a process that teaches me every bit as much as it teaches them, and certianly sometimes more. I love, love, love being a mom. Even an inept one.