Boo

I think that Halloween is macabre and quite demented.

We were in the grocery store today, and I was watching Tim do all the grocery shopping for the week with his list and his coupons. Love that man. I was admiring all the fresh produce, and also Tim's legs. This time of year is such a celebration of harvest. I'm all for pumpkins and squash and apples, and the like. I'm all for Tim's legs, too, if you want to know the truth.

On the way to the store, there was an add for one of those corn maze things. They were announcing that the local corn maze and haunted outbuildings had people screaming in terror. This was designed to woo the general public into an enthusiastic visit. It was apparently working, as the children in our car were all ready to sign up. How is that a good thing? Is that supposed to make me load up the kiddos in the SUV, and dash on out for a night of fright? If fear is the goal, I can just serve the kids cooked spinach, and make them scrub toilets. I guarantee there will be screams of terror. And my way is cheaper.

Who designed a holiday around death and fear? Have you thought this through? There are skeletons and gravestones and occult activity, punctuated with lots of candy. It's weird, is what it is.

I love costumes. Have you seen my closet? Many of my normal clothes are quite costume-ish. I own a full-length black velvet cape which I wear in public, for goodness sake. I'm pro-costume. Last year, Tim and I were Caesar and Cleopatra for Patti's 40th birthday party. Can't we have a holiday about life and joy and candy, with costumes?

Having faced my share of death and fear, I simply wonder at the cultural hoopla over Halloween. It's so convoluted.

We practice it now, though. I didn't for years. While my boys were little, we developed our own weird traditions. We'd use no electricity on Halloween, and we'd light all the candles. Then, we'd surreptitiously peek out the windows at the neighborhood children. It was fun.
Tim has always taken his kids trick-or-treating, so once we got together, my boys got to go too. Because that's how committed I am to my conviction.

This year, being the mom of 4, it is my responsibility to outfit these kids. Faline is going to be a gypsy. Aaron is the grim reaper (!?), and Michael and Don are going as "Flowseidon" (like Poseidon, only the god of Lacrosse). I am channeling Minnie Mouse this year, because I found the cutest polka dot shirt, short skirt, and really trampy red patent leather stilettos at the thrift store. I was trying to get Tim in suede fringe and denim to let his inner cowboy fly, but he wasn't embracing the "Brokeback Mountain" vibe. He'll come up with some kind of costume, though. You'll see.

Life, joy, candy, and costumes. Let's do Halloween my way this year.