Raise your glass to the New Year

This blog has become a distant memory, which seldom crosses my mind. Indeed, the thought occurred to me this morning to visit my blog, but the thought did not occur of it's own accord. Mother was scolding me for not blogging anymore. She told me that Yvonne dislikes it when I neglect my blog. We can't have that. I would do all in my power to keep Yvonne happy. She's a special lady, is Yvonne. So, I decided to visit my blog.

A very nice pastor surprised me this past week by telling me that he'd been reading my blog. I wasn't certain that this was a good thing, so I took a bit of time this morning to read. Kind of a survey over my most recent writings to see how radically I may have incriminated myself.

As I was reading a bit, I was confronted with a frequent reminder of my inability to spell. It's a glaring void in my intellect which has caused me no small embarrassment. Alas. You would think that one so afflicted would embrace the technological wonders of spell-check. Unfortunately, about the time I am wrapping up a composition, my mental powers usually precede me to the next activity on my agenda, and so I skip the editing.

My time is largely spent gazing in adoration at my husband. This keeps me quite busy. It does not, however, keep me slender. He is a marvelous cook, as you may recall, and so it is incumbent upon me to consume his caloric preparations with all the enthusiasm of a healthy wife. Who is now become a somewhat chubby wife.

It is fortunate that I can apply this inherent enthusiasm to any pursuit. And so I have embraced a weight loss regimen. I exercise, with my ipod. And I log every morsel to pass my lips, in a notebook I have set aside for this purpose. This is a fascinating study in my own psyche. I find that I struggle to be honest with myself. I would rather not write down that I have eaten chocolate, for instance. So I write one piece, instead of two. Or I'll mooch off of Tim's drink, so I don't have to write that I had one. It's about the most senseless lying problem you've ever heard of!

Weight loss is quite popular this time of year. My mother firmly believes that each family has an allotted number of pounds to share among them. This explains why she gains, while I lose. Or why she loses while I gain, which would likely be her preferred scenario. I found this concept to be vastly amusing, and also surprisingly plausible. The fact that I have been thus-far successful in my weight loss may perhaps indicate that a note of apology may be in order. "Dear Mother, I am so sorry to have been the cause of your recent weight gain. Please, just go on ahead and do some shopping, as your clothes are soon to be completely inadequate. You may expect another 14 lbs to arrive upon your...er...doorstep. Much love, Kelly."

Oh! How fortuitous! I remembered the spell-check!