In which I wax poetic on the subject of friendship

I had the privilage to visit with an old friend last night, over tea. Tea is becoming my evening drink of choice now that wine is not so much an option for me. Tea lacks some of the soothing qualities of wine, but one must make due with what one has.

By "old friend," I mean that she is knocking at the door of 50, and also that I've known her for quite a number of years. I begged her to tell me of her ailments, so as to comfort me in my affliction. The best she could do was to note a twinge in her hip. Really? How does one get to be 49 years old with nothing more than a need to stretch?

I've found a change among my friendships, since I got married two years ago. Tim is really intent upon being my very closest confidant, and he is satisfied to have me as his best, and only, friend. Because of this, my friendships with the Girls have become irregular. Although I am full-to-bursting with my marriage, I would like to maintain my girl friendships. It's not a simple matter. Besides my romance, I also have the relationships with four children who draw on my energy reserves. By the end of the day, I am often so done with people in general that the thought of having to have another conversation can make me withdraw into a funk. Who ever met an extrovert who was overstimulated by too many people?

Of my friendships, I find that the easiest ones are those I never talk to. Which you'd think would defeat the purpose. Those ladies who are in happy marriages, with bustling households, are the low-maintenance kinds of friends with whom I talk every month or two. Of those in this category, I trust that the years of investment will carry us through this particular phase in life, and they opperate with a similar notion. Friendship is no longer group activity on the weekends, with giggling gossip. It's more a matter of meaningful touchstones to strengthen one another for the demands of life. It's quite beautiful.

I've never been one to look at friendships as a passing fancy. No, I see them a bit more as a marriage of sorts. Take Cathy, for example. I've known her since 1989. She matters to me, really matters. We only catch up a couple times a year, yet it's always as if no time has passed. She knows me, and I know her. I think it's because our core values are really the same, and we've invested enough to have that credibility to speak truth into one another. Love that.

Friendships ebb and flow through the years, though, and that can be a real challenge. It's worth fighting for, I think. Even when core values are confused, or circumstances change, I think that friendships are worth the effort. It's a marathon, rather than a sprint, so the eternal perspective is essential.
...And that's a race I can still run.