Aortic Aneurysm

My own health is annoying me. I'm perfectly healthy and vibrant. I'm energetic and happy, with a hearty appetite.
Except for the one thing.

I have a condition that no one can see, for Pete's sake, how is that any fun?
When I was first diagnosed, back in June, with an aortic aneurysm, I was compliant as can be with all the doctor's restrictions. Mostly, I ate raw almonds and raisins because of the no-salt content. It was a bit panicked, to be sure, but I was convinced that a time-bomb was ticking away within me. In the past few months,I have gradually meandered clean off the wagon.

It's not like I'm salting food, or running a marathon. In truth, I would probably be better off by running and lifting some weights in defiance of my doctor. As it is, I don't enjoy the wimpy excuse for exercise that I am now allowed....so I don't do any at all. My hips are growing wide, and my heart is growing week. This can't be what the doctor ordered! It's becoming increasingly apparent that I need to embrace the slower pace, and actually get moving.

Food is really not bad without salt. There are lovely salt substitutes. The trouble comes in that anything remotely processed includes enough sodium to spike any one's blood pressure. I must avoid anything that comes in a can or in a box. And anything pre-seasoned. Or served at a restaurant. See? Raw almonds and raisins are an easy answer. Not only is salt the very devil, but cholesterol is bad, too. This is found in anything that tastes good. Butter, cheese, meat, eggs...don't even mention desserts.

In a moment of self-pity, just the other day, I was surfing the web on the topic of this medical condition. Now, I really think that the Internet is a fascinating place to research medical issues. Terrifying, perhaps, but fascinating. In my cyber-wanderings, I happened upon a chat-board-thing. What do you call them? It's where people all post their story on a particular topic, and commiserate in their misery. It was wonderful.

The first fellow talked about how he used to be a cyclist, who loved to push the limits of his physical strength, before he was diagnosed. He was so frustrated with all the limitations placed upon him...I had found a kindred spirit! I spent about an hour reading through all these postings by people with varying levels of information regarding their own condition. Some had no idea what an aneurysm was. Some had tons of research and experience to boast of. Most of them talked about the sense of carrying an invisible threat with them always.

I was delighted to hear the thoughts and experiences of other real people who deal with this phantom. But, it isn't a phantom, is it? It's rather a Thorn in the Flesh. At some point, here, I need to learn the art of folding it into my life, without obsessing over it. It isn't going to go away.

Although aortic aneurysm is in the Top 15 Leading Causes of Death in the US, one can't help but note that the mortality rate over-all is somewhat higher (hovering near 100%). With this in mind, it seems sensible to take precautions, without worrying over-much. An occasional jog, or a special occasion dessert, would likely be worth any risk. There is, after all, some consideration for quality of life.

With this in mind, I shall leap from my netbook to my treadmill. While I shall restrain myself from running, I may just jog. And if I perish, at least I'll die happy.