The patients of Dr. Job

A heavy sigh is very often the precursor to a swift loss of grace on my part. Children can wear one thin. Or, in my case, wear one rather chubby, as one seeks consolation in the cookie jar. Alas.

I am coming slowly to grasp with the reality that I have no legitimate hope of ever controlling my children. They are in need of direction, sure. Even discipline. But I lack the reach to touch their hearts so as to affect real change. My complaint is not uncommon. If I could have my way, my request of them would be simple. Clean thy surroundings, and be ye kind. Instead? They are swine, wallowing in their mire, and irritable (no doubt as a direct result of their mess.)

Tim and I were verbally redecorating the house yesterday, as we lounged before the fire. We had the dining room decked out with hardwood flooring and magnificent furniture. A spectacular room! He said, "You would never allow the children in there; it would become wasted space." I disagreed. It would become beautiful space, perfect for the use of adults. As it stands now, the adults don't go in that room because it's ruled by messy children. Not that I haven't tried to reclaim it! With music, candles, and lacy linen, I find the room quite presentable. The children then change the music, smear pizza sauce on every surface, and burn my candles to nubs. Why even try?

Really, children are expensive, messy, and they boast completely bizarre and independant thought. It sometimes feels like Us against Them. Tim and I huddle together whilst these beings decimate the pantry, pile their various belongings on every available surface, and complain about one another's behavior. Much as I am complaining now, come to think of it.

I think that the dining room of my imaginings would be so much better than the reality that Rap music, pizza sauce, homework, and discarded shoes provides to that room in our home. What I would give them is so much better!And yet, I see the same principle in many aspects of parenting. Where I want to give them good things like spending money, freedom, nice clothes, positive attention, and heart-felt respect....Instead, they so often clamor after the reverse. When their behavior demands restrictions or distrust, they blame me for imposing it.

No wonder God uses parenting as an analogy for His relationship with us.

How often God must desire to give us good and perfect gifts, yet find that we are defiantly unwilling to receive them!
I was thinking on the life of a woman who exemplifies this condition. She has repeatedly defied good council, in order to seize what she Insists Upon. It has never turned out well for her. She closes out each tragic step with a renewed defiance, and a growing bitterness. Then, she grasps the next bad idea with both hands. It mars her beauty, and takes her further down a path away from where she could be.
A life in contrast, is one powerful woman I have the privilege to know. She has suffered terrible losses, yet has stayed soft and joyful. She closes out each tragic event with the humility of "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord." And because her heart is Godward, and there is no bitterness in her, she positions herself to receive whatever it is that God has to give her. Even were God to give her nothing more, she has developed a beauty of character that is evident to all.

Fortunately, God doesn't seem to lose patience with His children quite as fast as I lose patience with mine. His favor is easily regained, because of what Jesus did to redeem us. I'll bet that should be a lesson to me with my kids. Even Teenagers need to know that their errors will not separate them from my love.

I do think they need to be reminded that their poor choices make my heart sad, not just because I'm disappointed, but because I truly want to give them good things, and their poor choices prevent me.

Obviously, a messy living room is a small problem. My kids are good kids, as kids go. The principle is the same whether on a large, or a small scale. Obedience brings Blessing. Defiance brings Curse, to put a fine point on it.

As I parent today, I guess I need to keep in mind how my own actions are looking from my Heavenly Father's perspective. I'd best behave myself.