Take a page from my book

If I don't write first thing in the morning, then I find that I have a very hard time writing at all. My ability to string words into coherent groupings diminishes rapidly after noon.

This morning I pulled out a book I have not read in a while called The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard. I highly recommend it.
One concept he talks about is the "freedom and worth of every individual."

People who are overly controlling need to be reminded of this concept on a regular basis. Like me. The fact that Jesus paid the ultimate price so that folks can pursue free will is a timely reminder for me as my children come of age. Although they are infinitely precious to me, I often spend a great deal of effort trying to mold them into my image. This is a spinning of wheels that does not contribute to harmonious relationships. I spent years directing them, requiring obedience, expending untold energy to train their thinking. At what point do you stop?

As I evaluate myself on this matter, I think the single most important thing I can do is to listen. I have found listening to be a great antidote to a vast array of problems in my life. If I am listening to my children, then I am learning about them. If I am listening, then I am not talking much, which certainly helps to keep me out of trouble. Listening requires a certain stillness, rather than the frenzy of controlling activity that comes so naturally to me. Listening communicates respect.

I hate it when people don't listen to me. Or, when they hear what I say, but don't take the effort to really listen. I hate it when people run off at the mouth with no thought of how their words are wildly wounding. I hate it when I do that! And I do, unfortunately. I suspect that God made me so with the intention of prodding me toward humility.

...which brings up another topic from the book I was reading this morning. Judgment without condemnation. How do you do that? He's talking about judgment in the sense of discernment which is very different than judgment in the sense of condemnation. We, in our culture, tend to dismiss any declaration of right and wrong with the admonition to not judge. Perhaps what we should be saying is, "Don't condemn." But what is the alternative? Some things are right, while others are, in fact, wrong. Sin is something defined by God, and we are to recognize it and warn one another when we see it. I think this is very difficult to do in a way that doesn't communicate condemnation, but I struggle to identify why it is so. Is it a cultural paradigm which insists that all is relative? Or is it a matter of self-righteousness that communicates superiority in discernment? I think it's a fascinating question, and an important one. If I figure it out, you'll be the first to know.