Fear, Hell, and Sin. Just for fun.

I used to have a very dear friend who told me repeatedly that there was seemingly no problem that I couldn't over-think.
I no longer have that friend, but my muddled intellect remains the same. It's a mixed blessing, as so many blessings seem to be. (I wonder why that is? Perhaps so that we can discipline ourselves to gratitude rather than dwelling on the shortfalls of this blessing or that.)
Sometimes, like right there in that parenthetical musing, the overthinking is a brief tangent. More often, I find it to tangle me in a labyrinth of unanswerable issues.
The upside is twofold. One: I can wander at length along the very diverting roads in my head, exploring every avenue of a given topic. And two: there is a very real possibility of gleaning some truth along the way.
The downside, of course, is that I often create more problems than I solve. Which provides excellent fodder for blogging...and that is another benefit. I'm a hopeless optimist.

There seems to be a very real reason to fear that my wanderings have not been thorough enough. What if I have missed a crucial aspect which would alter my course? And so I plunge back in to the maze of wondering, pondering, weighing a particular thing.
I like it, frankly. I learn a lot. It's very time consuming, though. It's way better than the alternative, don't you think? If I don't think through things for a while, I tend to speak before I think and that always gets me into trouble.
Some people don't do this with their brains. Some people sort of careen like a drunken sailor off of concepts, questions, and issues. I think they must be very carefree.

One of the main issues which motivates me to such length and breadth of contemplation is a fear of God.
Some people teach that the bible doesn't really mean Fear when it tells us to fear God. They say that it means that we should have a healthy respect. I'm all for respect, but that's not all that the bible teaches. The concept of "Fear" is actually pretty easy to understand. The word means "terror, fear, horror" according to my Strong's concordance. This makes perfect sense to me. God is so much different that we are, and He is so humongous...I think that's scary. I really really believe in Him, and He could squish me like a bug. The fact that He does so much to know me, and to let me know Him, is pretty awe inspiring if you ask me. It's also very motivating.  Just knowing that His Patience is not infinite is frightening. His Cosmic boot will come down at some point, and I don't want to be under it. I want to take refuge under the shadow of His Wing.

We, in the USA have grown up in a culture that prides itself on being Christian, as American as Apple pie and Baseball. We have developed a theology of Grace that imagines God as a super Santa Clause who chuckles at our sins, and accepts us all because He wants to be buddies with us silly humans. This is blasphemy. It is a lie from the pit of Hell.

God calls us to be Holy. I don't know how to do that. I'm thinking about it a lot, though. I want so badly to be standing firm with my eyes fixed upon Him when that boot comes down. I want to be what He designed me to be, and I muddle the job constantly. "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom," and the end of wisdom is "Well done good and faithful servant." It's the middle part that's confusing. The labyrinth beckons.....