To snatch them from the fires of Hell

I'm putting together a little talk to present here in a couple of weeks. It's for a program for families whose children have had their first run-in with the law. I've been thinking about what might possibly be helpful under the circumstances. Mostly what I am thinking is:
"Heck, the road only gets tougher from here. My kids started with the odd herb smoking, too! Now they are certified Felons. Welcome to the dark side!"
Somehow I don't think that is likely to strengthen the fainthearted. Do I really want to scare them?

What I really want to say would be far more personal, though along the same lines. I want to tell them that if their children are bent on self-destruction, there is very little that they can actually do to stop it. They can cry and pray and scream, but they cannot make a child chose wisely. I would tell them that these little beautiful blessings are capable of catastrophic decisions way,way,way before we are ready to face it; certainly before they turn 18. I would tell them to discipline, set boundaries, and parent with determination, but to understand that at the end of the day these children are responsible for the blessing or the curse they bring into their own lives. It seems cruel and unfair that a 13-year-old can use drugs, run away, or get pregnant. But the simple truth is that they can, and they sometimes do.

I want to tell those kids to listen to their parents so they can stay safe. Most of them won't listen. They need to know that there is an invisible line, and once they cross it, not even their parents can help them. That is when the State takes custody, or commits them to incarceration, or they do permanent physical damage. They should fear that.

Those parents need to know that the proverbial advice to put on one's own oxygen mask first applies here. Keep yourself healthy, and relatively sane, so you can navigate the nightmare. Make your marriage a priority. Enjoy a hobby. Find Jesus. Do something frivolous and fun. Force normalcy where you can. Protect the sanctuary that is your home. That means making excruciatingly hard choices, and living with them.

....But these are families whose kids got in trouble for smoking pot. Or maybe shoplifting. I think I'm maybe over-reacting.
Or maybe not.
The first time my child got caught shoplifting felt earth-shattering... until the first time my child got committed to State Custody... which shook me to my core...or the first time I called the police on my son...or the first time I saw my boy in shackles... or the Drug Overdose. It's all a horror, every step. When a child gets busted for the first time, it's just the worst thing a parent can imagine. Perhaps it is unkind to tell them that this may be the first rung on the ladder. Things might get much, much worse.

These kids have a chance to stop. Today's crisis could be the worst they ever bring upon themselves, if only they will listen. Perhaps it is kind for me to scare them, after all.

Ah, and those poor parents. They have no control.
My heart aches for them.