Cloistered

I have been contemplating the concept of holiness lately, though I confess to arriving at questions more often that answers. The entire idea of Christians pursuing a sort of God-honoring holiness is troubling in the extreme. This idea is not a new one, in fact every religion has a standard of behavior that seems to uphold whatever the wise ones define as an acceptable countenance before God. In my reflections upon growing up in the evangelical christian church those ideas were very much performance driven.(I suppose that isn't entirely fair to say, but it is how I think of it.) My ideas of holiness, of righteousness, had a lot to do with good manners and proper, ladylike behavior... Wearing hose with my Sunday best... Behaving in a way that is demure and respectful... Offering coffee or tea at ladies bible studies... Talking about things that are inoffensive, and frankly, smarmy.

I'm struggling with this so much right now because the actual practice of my (no less sincere) faith is not remotely nice or demure or simple. In fact, my calling involves so many things that seem so far from this sheltered understanding of holiness that I find myself questioning that ridiculous question "What would Jesus do?" I say "ridiculous" because there are so many contradictory misunderstandings regarding what He may or may not do.

What does holiness look like with a heroin addict detoxing in my home?
What does righteousness look like when the topic of discussion is prison shanking, or worse prison atrocities?
Does a godly woman deign from discussing the millennial topic of legalizing marijuana?
Would Jesus be shocked at repeated, enthusiastic expletives, or would He look past them to the heart of what the speaker is trying to communicate?

So many of the people around me are rough and scarred. If I'm the sort of woman which I always thought exemplified holiness...I'll be entirely irrelevant to them. I can't be shocked when talking about rape, or neglect, or the "f"bomb, or drugs. These are people. Real people whom Jesus loved enough to die for! How can I be shocked when their stories are raw and real in a way that needs, Demands!, an answer from a relevant, loving, Almighty God?

It would be so much easier to serve God from the sanctuary of a nunnery.

But Jesus didn't do that, did He? He didn't love the people from afar. He ate with the prostitutes and the political traitors. He got dirty with them, without becoming dirty Himself. I am amazed at this. And this brings me back to my question: What does holiness look like?