A confession

I have found myself over-using the word "annoyed" lately. I am always annoyed with the people around me.
It's quite unbecoming, really.
The reason I am annoyed has very little to do with others, and a great deal to do with me.
Does this happen to you? I find from time to time that ugliness is dragged to the surface of my consciousness where I have to look at it and deal with it.
Plus, I keep hearing the worst things escape my lips. The moment the words are spoken, I cringe inside. It's not that the things I say are that bad...wait- who am I kidding? I say and think horrible things! If there is a blunt way to say something totally unnecessary, you can count on me to come out with it!
Sigh....
Why can't I look on others with a gentleness?
Where is the consideration for those around me?
Why can't I speak to edify and encourage?
Alas!
....(No one says "alas" anymore. It's a really wonderful thing to say, and I can't think of a suitable equivalent. There's also "Pshaw" which is a word we should endeavor to bring back into vogue.
The English language is really quite a rich and lovely language when spoken correctly. I keep trying to tell this to Johanna, but I don't think she believes me. Johanna is my eccentric cousin. (Her mommy and sister comment on this blog from time to time).
Eccentricity is beautiful, don't you think? Jo is, anyway. She is a free spirit, if ever there was one. She is deep and intelligent and very, very fun.)....
...Do you see how random my thoughts are?
The main thrust of this entry is that I am restless and unkind in my heart. You should pray for me! I want to have that Christ-like ability to accept people as they are, to love others more than I love my sorry-self, and to think before I speak.
Do I hear an AMEN?