We have this whole thing at bible study, like Las Vegas, where what happens at bible study stays at bible study.
However, sometimes some very bloggable things take place.
As we all sat around talking last night, (and I don't remember the initial point of conversation), one of the girls commented that her Mother was in a box on the shelf of her office.
Not one of us batted an eye until we realized that she was, in fact, serious. Dead serious, if I may borrow the pun.
Her Mother is in the box because they have not yet taken her camping.
I am not wild about camping as a living person, and I do not imagine that death would improve my experience. Though, less would be required of one under those circumstances. The worst part of camping is all the work. Cooking, and doing dishes, and fighting back all the dirt. That's the worst part of camping. As a cremated person, one would actually Be dirt, a thought which just occurred to me. Why would I ever want to be that which I have been spending a lifetime trying to eliminate? Cruel irony, no?
So, we wondered, does cremation reduce a body entirely to ashes, or are there still parts? Chunks.
I wonder if they run you through a sieve so as to spare the family?
I think I would rather be mummified.
If I were mummified, I could be kept in a lovely sarcophagus in someone's living room. The girls at bible study suggested that Chuck should be the recipient of that particular gift. Then I could haunt him. I might be able to haunt him without being mummified, but it would sure be creepier that way. And more of a conversation piece. I like to generate conversation. Especially conversations with words like "sarcophagus."
So, all in all, bible study was very interesting.
We learned:
-That a dead duck needs to be separated from it's entrails immediately, or it will taste of rigor. (We then discussed the word "entrails." It's a wonderful word, and far underused in my opinion.)
-Cremation doesn't entirely reduce a body to ashes.
-The Roman's sacking Jerusalem in 70 AD actually resulted in the spreading of the gospel.
-And you should never go camping with Lynda!
4 comments:
I am most concerned about why her mother is in her office. Why not allow her to be somewhere more comfortable, like the kitchen?
Having read Anne Lamott's book (I can't remember which one it was in) I discovered that spreading ashes is quite messy business and if there is ANY wind at all your a lible (is that how that's spelt?) to inhale parts of your parent. Maybe remains of the entrails. Just a thought.
Well, my sister drove around with mother's ashes in her truck for six months until we could all get together to spread the ashes. Of course it would have been easier if the box had not been impaled by the tire iron and mother was actually all over the truck and carpet.
I didn't say a word as we sucked mother up with a vaccum at a commercial car wash - but I sure was giggling on the inside.....
Ok, I am still recovering from KJP's response, on the floor, with tears flowing down my face. So... #1 the kids look forward to camping with Grandma #2 NO, I am not bringing a sieve or a commercial grade vacuum #3 I will be downwind and #4 is June or July better for you, Kelly?
Upon reflecting back on my 20 years of Sunday School, the only practical thing I learned (besides the difference between Elija and Elisha, which always tripped me up) was something my teacher told me after offering everyone a wint-o-mint lifesaver. She said, "If anyone ever offers you a mint, if you want it or not, you should ALWAYS take it. They could be implying you have bad breath."
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