Christmas Cards

My Mother claims that there is a gene for Christmas Cards. Either you have it, or you don't. I don't. Neither does she, I might add. We decided it's a resessive gene.
Kara overcame her's by an act of sheer will; which is not at all surprising when you know how strong that girl's will can be.
Kara's sister, Krista, is a slave to her Christmas Card Gene. She begins planning it in the month of..., was it October?
Krista is a wonderful girl, and she has oodles of personality. And style. And an enormous clothing budget, apparently, because she is aways dressed in haute couture.
So, she sent out a card last year to those on The List. (There is room on The List for precisely 75 names. Family gets to stay on no matter what, but everyone else is on shaky ground.) This card had, like, 15 photos of Krista and Sam on the front. Sam and Krista in Hawaii. Sam and Krista in Hawaiian shirts. Sam and Krista in swimwear in Hawaii. Sam and Krista in Hawaiian shirts in Hawaii.
Krista knows if you keep her Christmas Card. She will look at your refrigerator in July to see if it's there. Plus, she knows if you have sent her sister a Christmas Card, and neglected her. If you do that, she'll cross you off The List.
There is a set of rules called Christmas Card Etiquette that I was oblivious to. Krista endeavoured to educate me last night. Are you all aware of this? I was thinking that I could send one this year. I am going to have to send one to Krista and Sam, anyway, so that I can get back on their list.
We had our annual Bar-De-Nay dinner last night with Krista, Kara, and our respective mothers.
It was very funny. We laughed long and hard about the Christmas Card stuff.
We talked about music and movies.
We talked shopping.
We ordered 2 bottles of wine, one white and one red. And we asked for 5 orders of the trout. Really, we all ate the exact same thing. It was delicious.
I am so thankful, once again, for lifelong friends. And Trout. And excellent wine. And Great food. And silly stories.
It's good to be home.

As I promised

Kris and I hung out the whole time. It was very comforting to have a grown-up friend to complain to. And complain we did. Although, I was pretty convinced that I would forget all the bad parts and want to go again next year.








The amphitheatre is an amazing design. We were situated on a grassy hillside with awesome acoustics. The stage was clearly visible, as was the canyon beyond. We watched the sunset before our eyes every night.

































M' and his best friend were thinking they were the bomb. Boys on the verge of teenagerness are silly, cocky, and cute, all at the very same time. It's an endearing combination.

D' had a great time, too. The other kids were a lot older than him, yet they were so very accepting of him. I bought him a squirt bottle to mist himself with in order to keep cool, and he sprayed that thing constantly. Very annoying after a while.

Everyone there was wearing Jesus Tee Shirts. You know the kind, right? So I wore my own tee shirt with a message. It says, "Are you stalking me? Because that would be really cool." I bought it in case KJP would agree to meet me for coffee in Seattle.

Woodstock

Indoor plumbing is a glorious thing. I feel quite strongly about that.
Yesterday, I arrived home from those 4 days and nights of camping. With 25,000 teenagers.
We went to Creation at the Gorge. There were a ton of Christian bands there; some were amazing, and some were not.
If you ever have a chance to support the Newsboys in any way possible, do so. They are not only musically talented, and lyrically clever; they are also gifted with an amazing talent to inspire. The lead speaker spoke the Word of God, and the multitudes in the stadium were silent. Tens of thousands of people were spellbound by his every word. He talked about Jesus, and we could all believe him. This man has a rare and powerful gift. If he is not married, I am going to go find him and throw myself at his feet. There is something so beautiful about a godly man. If he is married, well, I mean it in a platonic way.
Switchfoot had a great show, too. They have great music, and an unapologetic testimony. Loved them.
Skillet? I was sadly disappointed.
Chris Tomlin? Wow! He was fantastic.
It was really quite a weekend. The weather kept us sizzling near 100 every day. There were people everywhere. Tents were piles one on top of the next; you never saw so many people. There was hardly any shade to be had. And the amphitheatre was 2 miles away. One day we walked back and forth 5 times. Can you do the math on that? I came up with 10 miles walked in that one day. Why am I not thinner? We did discover the shuttle, and that made the trek to and from the concert a little better.
Teenagers are a culture unto themselves. Once I came to terms with the fact that I had entered their world, I tried to relax and kind of just go with it. It was very loud both day and night.
I am currently still sleep deprived with laundry to do. It's afternoon, and I have yet to get to the grocery store.
Last night when I walked in (with an hour until house church) I jumped into the shower and exfoliated immediately. I had developed a rotting film over all my flesh. Yuck. This is why I mentioned that plumbing is glorious. That, and the whole flushing toilet thing. Real toilets are important.
Now,I am going to leave you for Fred Meyer. I will post photos after I eat!

Humiliations Galore

I'm going camping.
This beautiful place is hard to leave. Even this morning, the water is glass, and the sky is turning blue from pink. It's different from home. If I win the lottery, I am going to buy a house on the water here in the Puget sound area.
God totally gave me this summertime job as an answer to my prayers for peace and serenity. When all is done, I haven't earned a lot of money. Who cares? The calm is the best paycheck I've ever had.

Once again, I have given a lot of thought to the way that Jesus allows us to serve Him. Did I already tell you this? What you and I have done "for the least of these" is counted as done for Jesus. My care for Brittney is a gift for my Lord. The thing about that which strikes me is the fact that I would not submit willingly to such humiliating care. If you want to give me a gift, that's cool, but I'd rather not be in need of it.
Have you ever received a gift that you really, desperately needed? Money to pay the bills. Help to the toilet when you're too sick to go on your own. Cleaning your filthy house when you are injured. Someone else to brush your teeth. These are the needs of "the least of these". They require elbow grease and dirty hands. They are personal, and quite frankly, gross. But they also require the recipient to submit to the care.
It's remarkable enough when Jesus is the caregiver.
I totally understand the picture of myself as the needy one who has nothing to offer to my Creator. His care for me is something I readily acknowledge.
My Creator is not content to leave me with that comfortable picture. Instead, He turns the image upside down and puts Himself in the Needy position. Not because He needs me to do such things for Him. I suspect it's because I need to be shocked. Jesus is apparently okay with being compared to a severely handicapped individual. He is okay with being served in the most humiliating of ways.
He wants my clumsy hands to get dirty.

I'll be back to posting Monday morning, friends. We'll see you after the music festival.

Nothing to say

I am tempted to go back to bed this morning. And stay there all day.
We leave tomorrow, you know. I do not relish the re-entry into real life.
Tomorrow, of course, we will be off to the Creation Festival for 4 days. You won't hear a peep out of me until I get home after that.
Do you know what I am looking forward to?
House church. Bar-de-nay with Kara and our respective sisters and mothers. Meeting the ladies to float the river. Swimming at Eagle Island. Having my clothes in a closet, rather than in a suitcase. Being able to sleep in. Praying with Patsy and Jenine on Fridays. Working out at the gym (right Jenine?)
And in the not-so-much category:
Unpacking. Yard work. Busyness. 100 degree heat. Making decisions about what to do next. Schooling.
Speaking of scohol, I am sending away for my college transcripts. Do you know that the University of Washington offers a degree in Classics? I would study ancient languages and literature. Latin and Greek. I think I would love that. Just a thought. If I took a class every semester, someday I would graduate. Right? Because I have lots of extra time.
I am totally rambling today. Did you notice?
Now, I need to go pack and clean....more later if I find that there is something blog worthy.

Yippee!

I am just dropping a little note to say:
Nuh-Uh! I totally have 29 visitors to this blog in the past 24 hours! Somebody reads what I write, that is shocking. I guess I'll have to mind my manners from now on, now that I know you are all looking. O, what fun. Or, as Celise would say..."How fun is that?"

Chapter 20

I need to start a list in the margin here of books you can't continue life without. One of them would be this one by Os Guinness, The Call.
I haven't yet read much of it, to be honest. Yet, it has that certain perspective that some authors give which has mighty potential to rock one's world.
Wow.
What if you chose to live with a single purpose? A noble determination to continue, unfaltering, towards whatever goal is before you? What if the tasks assigned to you today could be approached as a Divine Calling? I don't know about you, but that attitude would revolutionize my homeschooling and house keeping.
I was reading this part in the book about the explorer, Magellan, the guy who sailed around the world. He was just doing his job. He was zealous, and passionate, and he changed the world. What if you or I could change the world by doing well what is right before us?
What am I called to?
What is my purpose?
Today it is parenting. I haven't done much actual parenting this summer. I sort of feed them from time to time when their energy is depleted, and I send them back outside. Perhaps that approach could stand some revision.
Today it's also caring for Brittney and her home. That's not hard.
This author talks about priorities, also. Priorities come into focus when I know what my purpose is. Think about it. When I was in college, and a paper was due in the morning, all I did was write the paper until it was done. No partying, no friends over, no sleep. That's a singleness of purpose. If I came at my dishes in the same manner, I don't suppose there would be any in the sink!
"Choice" is a defining word in these Untied states. Women demand it, stores boast of it, the Internet grants it. It's not that great a thing, as Mr. Guinness points out. He says that it, "leads to a decrease in commitment and continuity." That's really true. If I don't like my job, I can get a different one. If my man is annoying, I can jump on Match.com and look for a better one. I can chose new clothes, a different house, more/no kids, any food I want....my choices are only limited by my imagination and my wallet.
This has a profound impact upon my worldview. It hurts my relationships. It even handicaps my faith.
I frequently pester God to either make choices for me, provide more palatable choices, or confirm my choices. Don't you?
What if contentment meant receiving what is before me with Thanksgiving? I get paralyzed by choices, if you want to know the truth.
Actually, that reminds me of something I am reading in another book. It talks about this sort of thing. The author there was saying something about how rather than asking God about all these specific details of my life (should I buy a Ford, or a Chevy? should I take this house, or that one?) Perhaps I should focus on aligning my heart with the Heart of God. I should focus on Being the sort of Person who is like Jesus, then good decisions would be a natural result. And I think that's probably got a lot of truth in it. The guy wasn't saying not to pray about stuff, he was saying not to get freaked out by decisions. I know people who do that; who will wait forever for some manner of confirmation from On High, meanwhile, their lives slip away, and they accomplish nothing.
So, now you don't need to read the 20th chapter of The Call. I am going to go read some more. Lemme know what you think of it, too.

Sunday

I added a counter to this site because Cathy was kind enough to tell me how to do it. Thank you Cathy! The problem with counting, is that you must begin at 1. Now I will know if anyone ever really visits my site.
This could be depressing. Cathy has some 30,000+, and I have 1. That'll teach me to compare myself to others!

So, I learned something kind of interesting. Jesus coined a couple of unique words during His ministry years. Did you know that? One is the word "hypocrite." His usage of this word is the first recorded, I am told. Then He came up with a phrase to apply to His disciples, "Little-faiths." I love that Jesus liked words, and that He used them creatively. It validates my own obsession with language.

KiKi and I had a wonderful time Friday night. She and I stayed up too late and talked a ton. We were lazy all day Saturday; as lazy as can be. I had the best time with her. She is growing and learning, and I was refreshed by her company.
Saturday night I went to the airport to collect my friend Chuck. I forced him at gunpoint to buy me dinner. He has, bar-none, the best taste in restaurants of anyone on this planet. Plus he gets the best service in the world. If you ever can get him to take you out to eat, don't miss the opportunity.
Brittney's momma and sister came over to sit with her for me so that I could go out. It was inordinately fun because I haven't been out in public, in the evening, and with grownups for ages.
KiKi and I caught the ferry together Saturday evening, and there was a bluegrass band jamming for all to see. Fabulous music! They played for our entire ride over. That was pretty cool. Riding the ferry is one of my favorite things to do, anyway. Adding a live band just made is all that much better.
KiKi had me follow her all the way to the airport, so that I wouldn't get lost. And while she is very sweet to do that for me....she didn't really know how to get there. The result was comical. We drove all around the industrial district of Seattle, at risk of a gang attack at any moment. Our first goal was to fill her empty fuel tank. There are NO gas stations in the entire industrial area of Seattle. Incidentally, you can navigate a generous U-turn across 5 lanes of traffic, if you're fast enough. Who knew?
I got to the airport with time to spare. Once we found the correct freeway, it was a simple matter.

This morning the boys and I took Brittney to church. Church was fine. I guess. I prefer church that is amazing. The only way to have that, is to go to church where food is involved, and people you really love are there, and you are needed. This is why it's so hard for me to visit a church.

Now there is most assuredly a nap in my future. Gosh, I am tired!

My Audience

I have been attempting to nap for the entire afternoon. A worthy pastime, success or failure! Mostly, I failed.
I reclined on the couch for a bit, then moved to my bed. First some music, then a book, then silence. O, sublime! I dozed, then not. No matter. I am rested all the same. Perhaps more so as I do not feel groggy, and I have the delicious experience of remembering my nap. When you really sleep, you don't remember, do you?
We know, of course, what those lately asleep must have; do we not? Coffee. A lazy afternoon cup. Doesn't that sound a luxury? Sometimes more welcome than a glass of wine.

My Sweet Seattle friend, KiKi, is coming to stay the night. She was my roommate for a couple of years, and I haven't seen her in a while. We'll have lots of catching up to do.

It's rainy today. And windy. The water is choppy, and the dogs have huddled in their crates. I wonder if they have appreciated their naps?

I was going to go out with the friend-of-a-friend tonight. He has reportedly lost his marbles. The facts are a little fuzzy, but what do I care? Here I am in paradise.

We will be here only until Wednesday. Then it's off to a huge concert for Christian Teenagers. It's called Creation at the Gorge. I am going to sleep(?) in a tent for four nights with lots of people half my age with twice my energy. And lots of music.

Have you heard of Os Guinness? I think that's how he spells it. He speaks of pleasing God as if I were preforming before "an audience of One." This is a profound concept on many levels.
I love to be on stage, surprisingly. I love to play to a full house. The more, the better. When there's a large audience, there's so much energy. It's very heady. Then the focus is on Me. Their focus and mine. It's really cool. And selfish. But fun.
An audience of One would be really very difficult. In the first place, I would have to pay close attention to the One and I would have to adjust my performance to the clues upon His face. Like an audition. I hate auditions.
Yet, if I were carrying out my life performance as though God were the only One I were aiming to please, just think how freeing that would be! I would have to keep my attention on Him, and that's a big part of the point. I would be fully aware of whether or not my act was to His liking.

Happy Friday, friends.

True Bumper Sticker

You know what? Mean people Do Suck.
I had someone say something to me that was thoughtfully designed to sting. It's a different sensation than when someone is accidentally hurtful. It's perplexing, you know, to have that dawning realization that another human being gave some specific thought to how best to inflict some pain.
In the heat of an argument, it's common to say things that are unkind, even deliberate. But to calmly and thoughtfully deliver such leaves me mystified. All I can think, is, "Huh?"
What a shame.
It reminds me how dirty one gets when one tries to sling mud.

Movie Review

Yesterday was grand and glorious in an Anne of Green Gables sort of way. (hi Jenn)
I ran along a local beach whilst my children fished and built driftwood forts.
We sat around a campire on the beach long after dark, talking with new friends.
And in between, I watched a disappointing movie, which I shall henceforth review for you...
The Holiday.
I rented this because it promised to be a romantic comedy; the sort that leaves one smiling and expecting to fall in love. And also because Jude Law is adorable.
Alas.
It's the story of four emotionally handicaped adults, often intoxicated, who can't keep their pants on.
The super cute Mr. Law delivers this romantic confession to the woman he's been drinking with and romping with, and it sounded like a mariage proposal, but it wasn't. It was all about how he is in love with her, and they can make this work, and she's great with his kids,....and apparently the result of that is that he'd like to date her forever. And have sex. On two continents.
How is that romantic?
Where is the Prince Charming who rescues the damsel in distress?
Apparently, our modern viewers don't want a Damsel in distress. Apparently, they prefer a financially successful woman who can handle screwing a total stranger from time to time. A woman who doesn't ever wish to marry.
That's just bunk.
I haven't even told you about ther other couple in the movie.
They are equally unhealthy, and rebound into a sort of friendship. I liked theirs better, but they seemed to consider one another as a consolation prize. Not so romantic there, either.
Am I really that odd? To want a fairy tale? I know he won't be perfect, and I sure am not either. But I most certainly want to be rescued by a charming man. I want that "I love you" confession to include the words "be my wife" and "forever."
Is the old fashioned love story really defunct?
Are our modern day movie viewers impressed by the drunken pursuit of sex? Really? Can they relate to that? Does it validate their personal experience? I don't get it. Why would anyone do that to themselves?

Adventure-less

I didn't go to the city yesterday. I couldn't get the boys up and functional in time!
What if I moved here?
I got to thinking about that yesterday, and I was looking at houses. On-line, not for real.
My thinking is that if I spend two weeks per month here, it's going to seriously cut in to real life. For instance, martial arts, and guitar lessons. Hunting season. Skiing lessons. We would miss half of everything we are involved in. That would get annoying in a hurry.
Moving here has it's own drawbacks. For instance, I have no friends or family here. I have no where to live. Life here is expensive. Jana would put a contract out on my life.
It would be such an adventure, though!
Adventures are so much fun to think about. Less fun to actually live them.
I have no clue what we will do today. I want to do something grand and wonderful. But I actually can't afford to.
Perhaps I shall have an inspiration here in a bit, and then I shall write a witty blog. Or a controversial one. People comment when I am controversial.
Have a great day, all you internet friends.

possibilities

It seems to be Wednesday, and the outside is drizzling a bit. It's a fabulous sort of weather for mid-July. I wish we had some of that in the Boise area. It's red wine weather.
Today, I think I am going to dash off to the city. Wouldn't that be a blast? If we take off soon here, we can grab the ferry, and play in Seattle. Doesn't that sound like a delightful thing to do?
My other option is to stay here and get some work done. What fun would that be?
I'll let you know how it turns out!

Stalkers, Unite!

Kara's sister came over today. That was too funny.
She and her husband are newly arrived from Hawaii, and they happened to be passing through this little town, while on the phone to Kara. Kara said, "Kelly's in Poulsbo" and Krista said, "we're driving thru Poulsbo!" So they detoured and brought lunch to my house.
Now, since Krista is Kara's sister (hi Kara), and Yvonne's daughter (hi Yvonne), that makes her one of the people I've know for nearly 4 decades. We have annual visits and shared custody of occational white wine at BarDeNay.
We'll meet up in Boise in two weeks for that wine part. Today it was coffee, what with the early hour and all.
Today I also talked with Kris on the phone. Hi Kris! Not KJP, but my Boise friend, Kris whom I love and miss. She and her family have joined our house church.
KJP is another story. I think he's in town, here in the Seattle area. Maybe he's stalking me after all. Hi KJP! You all need to comment and tell him that it would be ok for him to meet me for a very public cup of coffee. Tell him that I am not an axe murderer, and that I will beat him up if he is a stalker. Because, otherwise, how does one meet one's internet buddies? Go on, tell him it's okay.

More Lofty Squawking

Oh, I know, let's tackle predestination next!

No?

Imagine that.



I have had a headache for two days straight from thinking too hard. I think maybe I broke something. It didn't help a lot.

I think too much.

My Uncle said something once regarding new Christians. He was talking about discipleship, and how to begin a person down that yellow brick road. He said to have them talk to Jesus, listen to what He says, and obey Him right away. That sounds like a fabulous way to function. Simple, straight-forward, no over thinking.



Meanwhile, back at the ranch:

The sea is tranquil, though the tide is very high this evening.

There are a couple of nests high in a tree near the house, they are full of squawking creatures with no respectable curfew. I am told the beings are blue herons. I was heretofore unfamiliar with their nesting habits. They create these enormous hodge-podge nests much like Eagles. And there they leave their young to completely freak out. All. Night. Long.

For the moment, it's quiet. The kids are getting ready for bed. The squawking has yet to begin. I am sleepy. Good night, friends.

helpful/not helpful

This question of biblical interpretation has come up from several different conversations lately, which is why it's on my mind. I know that it sounds as if I'm spoiling for a fight, but that wasn't really my intent.
I would like to pull a few of you aside and ask how you deal with this stuff.
For real.
Except, I feel like someone who's been abducted by aliens, because you all look at me like I need to take my meds. So my questions don't get answered.
I'm really asking this: If I go ahead and stop covering my head for worship, and talk freely at church, what is the next step? What will it do to my understanding of Who God is, and how I am to take Him at His Word? I have based my desisions on Scripture being Absolute and solid. If the bible doesn't mean what it appears to say, then how am I to live? (Is that a UFO in the sky?)

Tonight I am feeling lonely for several reasons. House church is tonight and 500 miles away. One friend whom I love is sad, and I don't know why. That, and I think I should keep my questions to myself.

The Newer New Version of the Bible

I was going through Scripture today to find all those parts that don't apply to me. It's high time to publish a newer version of the bible!


I am quite excited about it.


I found that one section about women covering their heads, and I tore it out. It has caused too much discussion already. Besides, it's not an important issue, and we sure don't want to be legalistic. It shouldn't even be in the bible.


Then that passage about women being preserved through childbearing ...gone! Who understands that passage, anyway?


The annoying thing that says women are not to teach or exercise authority over a man is obviously cultural, so that's out, too. I mean, women have just as much to offer as men do.


Then the whole part about women being silent in the church. Doesn't God know that women have valuable things to say? Plus, He made us to be talkers, after all. Silence is impractical. What if newcomers are turned off by that? God wouldn't want us to make people feel uncomfortable.




Next I am going to hit the parts about fornication, because that's clearly antiquated. Plus, it's no fun. In this day and age, sex is just a normal part of everyday life. God can't really expect an adult to be so prudish.


Submission? That's out. Honestly, this is not even one to quibble about.


Genesis has all that one-week creation bit that's been proven false, so it's out. In fact, the Old Testament doesn't apply to me, so I'll keep the Psalms and throw the rest out. I like the Psalms, they are pretty and poetic. The rest is so depressing.


The bible is getting much thinner. That's really quite convenient.


Romans says harsh things about homosexuality, and the wrath of God, so we'll rip that out next. In this day and age, you can't judge people because of their lifestyle choices. We're basically good people, and God is Love.

There are some people who will chose to keep the "Old Fashioned" version of the bible. But, let's just love them and pray for them. They'll come around.

......You detect a note of frustration? Really? From Moi? Hmm. Who would ever have thought!

Here's the thing:

I don't understand why this stuff is so unpleasant. I am frustrated with all of the differing opinions and explosive discussion that this stuff brings up.

But, lest you think that I am being somehow self-righteous and hypocritical again, I'll tell you that I don't even know. This stuff becomes more and more bewildering as I struggle to apply it in a house church setting, where the participation of all seems preferable. Plus, covering my head is annoying when I am having a good-hair-day.

I have the gift of black-and-white biblical interpretation, so I look at this stuff and think I should just do it. However, I am the only one on planet Earth that takes such a literal view. When I see how you all have no problem with these passages, I wonder if I am losing my mind. I guess what I really want is for someone to explain to me how God said this stuff and it doesn't really apply. No one has explained that to me. It's Spiritual, Metaphorical, Grammatical; The Jack Sparrow school of bible interpretation.

I am annoyed with myself. Why do I always have to be so stubborn? I could just blithely let it go and love. That would be way easier. Not that I'm obeying thoroughly anyway. When was the last time I was silent in house church?

Bottom line, I guess, is that I have to work it through. Very Fun. You may all hate me before I'm done.

It's your lucky day

There is a vacuum cleaner here which I delight to use. For real. It is a bag-less thing, with a see-through container. The result being that I can see what I've collected, which is very satisfying.

We watched the movie Bourne Supremacy this morning. It's the second movie in a series, and we'd watched the first yesterday. It's the story of a professional hit man on his own, trying to evade the government for whom he used to work. I was wondering if there are real people like him, and how they would act. Would they have headaches and attacks of conscience? How would one go about studying them?
This line of thinking led me, of course, to quantum mechanics. Stuff is so random at the subatomic level (or so we think) and the act of observing seems to alter what we're observing, so we can't really know how the stuff behaves when we're not observing. See? I bet professional assassins would be like that.
I had always wondered about Quantum Physics, but it's not really the sort of thing one can just ask about. I mean, who can discuss that stuff? Then, my friend Chuck loaned me a book. It's called The Dancing Wu Li Masters. You should read it if you want to compare assasins to quantum mechanics at your next social gathering. You can sit beside me. The book is over-due at the library, and I told him I'd return it. So, I should really do that.
I'm going to go pour myself a glass of chemicals (aka Chrystal light) and read some more.
Happy Friday the 13th, friends.

Pondering in Paradise

God gave me cooler weather. I am so thankful.
Today I have been reading rather a lot.
It's back to lazy and spoilt for me.
I'm thinking a lot though.
Thinking about deep questions.
Why does God tell women to cover our heads and be silent in church if He doesn't mean for us to obey?
Where do elders fit into a house church model?
How come killing a dog who barks all the time is considered inhumane? Wouldn't that be justifiable homicide?
How am I legalistic? Am I being legalistic if I tell you not to commit adultry? Is it legalistic to say that communion must be done by followers of Christ? Or is it legalism to focus on the act rather than the heart? Is the act, then, still neccessary?
I wonder.
Plus, I want chocolate.
These are my thoughts de jour.
Jen, you should comment. I know you want to. You, too, Yvonne. And Kris. Mother?
Soapboxes, everyone!

To KJP

My friend KJP reminded me of a story. It's rather a sad story about what not to do. It's something I have done, myself, unfortunately. God taught me a valuable lesson by allowing me to be on the receiving end.
I had a friend for years and years, we were close in high school, and right up until a couple years ago. She is a very steadfast Christian, the type who listens to the correct music and works in the Sunday school program. She has always chosen correctly, and I don't think that any major sins have ever tainted her testimony.
She was convinced that I was sleeping with the man I was dating at the time. So concerned was she, that she asked a couple of my more intimate friends if they had the same concerns. That was the first wrong move (they told me that she was searching out info). Why she didn't ask me is quite beyond me. Then, once we finally did have that conversation, she was already convinced that I was lying. She was convinced that I was "in sin" and that she could have no more to do with me. Truely. That was the dramatic end to a 15 year friendship.
Now, the point is; what do you do if someone you love is doing something wrong?
First of all, If I had really been doing what she thought, my concience would have been tormenting me. We saw that with my lie the other day. What I would have needed was someone who would love me and help me to do what was right. I would have known it was wrong, and I would have been in agony!
If I wasn't tormented by guilt, then I supose there would be bigger problems. Like a dead concience. If I was sleeping with a guy and okay with it, then perhaps I am not a "good Christian" in the first place. In which case, her little display of self-rightousness would have turned me off to Christ for a long time.
She didn't approach me as if she loved me and was concerned for my well-being. She came at it like I had a contagious disease, and she was fleeing contamination. That's a shame, really, because Jesus didn't do that with sinning people.
You know who Jesus was really hard on? The religious people who were so concerned about looking good that they neglected to love people.
So, my point, albiet a muddled one:
KJP, you love that girl of yours! She is going to need you and Jesus very much in the years to come. Sin hurts us, always. She is going to need her daddy to pick up the pieces and to pray for her.

10:06 pm

It's still hot as the dickens.
At this house there are these beer mugs in the freezer. They are the kind that have special stuff in them that freezes so your beer will stay really cold, 'cause who wants to drink warm beer? Anyway, I have been hugging one this afternoon. Carrying it close like a security blanket. My security beer mug. Isn't that sweet? The thing is cold, you know? I love that. It thawed out, though, but there's another one. I am going to sleep with the other one. I was thinking of sticking it under my covers so I can tolerate sleeping in the Fires of Hell. Funny that hell fires would be made tolerable by snuggling a beer mug.
G'nite friends.

I'm Melting

No power on Earth will make me cook tonight. No ma'am. It's hot. These people have no A/C because it is rarely needed. But this week is hell-hot. 95' with no breeze is unkind to sleep in. The boys are okay because they are in the water. I felt it would be wrong to abandon my charge to go play in the sea.
I have turned into a slug. I keep drinking water and lounging in front of the fan. It's too hot to work. It's too hot to read. It's way too hot to cook.
Who needs dinner?
So, any of you who thought I might be spoiled here, well you can put your minds at ease. Paradise needs air conditioning.
On a different note, we saw the new Harry Potter movie today. They have air conditioning there. And the movie was good-ish. Not fabulous, but okay. Our hero seems a little dim-witted in that he needed 5 episodes to figure out that he and Voldemort are mortal enemies. What did he think? They were going to reach a truce? One of them has to kill the other. Duh! He seems to have gotten the memo now, so we should see an end at some point in the next couple years when they finally make the seventh movie. I may read the book so I don't have to wait for the silver screen resolution. We'll see.
And my problem yesterday? My friend forgave me. I told her I had lied to her; Her first concern? "Did you have sex?" She asked.
As if I would lie about something like that.
Actually, her comment had the effect of making my real lie seem like a much smaller deal. She's a good friend that way.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I totally lied to one of my friends. It was a little tiny misleading that turned into a big fat ugly lie. Just like Fib on the Veggie Tales movie. Did you see that?
I have been all deeply spiritual and contemplative. I have been reading and praying and meditating. I'm, like, all holy. And then this lie slides out all smooth and easy. Just like I do it all the time. How can I be a Deliberate Christian, and sin so easy? I'm on thin ice.
If I ever lie to you, I'll tell you pretty quick. I get this nagging concience that won't let me sit still. It gets very loud in my head. The guilt squeezes tight on my heart and my head accuses me so loud that I can't think.
And it won't go away.
Damn! (that's used in context, really, so it isn't swearing. Right? Condemnation=Damnation. I think it's a very appropriate thing to say, given the circumstances. I would never say it out loud, though, that would be unladylike)
Of course, Lying isn't so ladylike, either. Everytime I think I'm doing okay, I find mud on my face again. Like a mud mask. Very purifying for the pores, as well as the soul.

Our house church is reading thru Ecclesiastes, and I had a thought about it.
Perhaps the truth within Ecclesiastes is the same that Jesus taught:
Behavior modification can not and will not effect real change of any substance. They taught from different perspectives, but the issue seems to be the same.
My heart is ever the real issue.
I may seek joy by self-indulgence, but it is to be found within the stuff of life (family, hard work, good food) rather than in the manufactured stimuli of wealth, intoxicants and moral compromise. Solomon did it all; didn't he? That wise man shouts across the ages to you and me, "I tried it all, and it doesn't work. Don't bother with these mistakes; they are a waste of time."
The truth is that my heart's condition will color all my experience. If I am dissatisfied with little, I will also be dissatisfied with much.
Changing the way that I ACT will not change the way that I AM.
Jesus asks me to intimately align myself with His perspective. To accept with gratitude the circumstances in which I find myself. To discuss with Him all the details of my life, and defer to His expertise.
So, I can just BE with the I AM and relax. Right?

S.S.S.

Heidi, you lovely thing....
These photos are from a year ago, maybe 2. Way too long.

Here's to you, my friend.
A toast.
To your strength, your beauty, and your amazing ability to get lost on the most familiar of roads.

Change is in the Wind

Kara is the Queen of Denial, and I have been taking lessons. I have actually shoved the very thought that I am leaving for three weeks, to the farthest reaches of the back of my mind. So, nothing is done.
I am leaving tomorrow morning at dawn, and I have not packed. Usually, I pack a month in advance, because I like to be prepared. Today is going to be a panic.
The good news, is that I am likely to blog every day once I get to my destination.

Life for those around me seems to be in the midst of much change. There are children leaving the nest, lots of moving, new jobs, deployments. There's a lot of change.
I think I am on the edge of my seat to see what new things are coming in my life, too. There's been a few things already. I am very open to it, you see. Change is good.
It is interesting to watch it unfold in those around me too. Everyone handles it differently. We are watching the events that are our story unfold before us.
These are the tales we will tell our grandchildren.
This is the good stuff.

I was reading my bible this morning. Isaiah 54 and a passage in Joel.
The Isaiah passage speaks of God's goodness to the woman who is rejected by her husband. That chapter sustained me during some of the most heart wrenching times in my life.
The Joel passage says, "I will make up to you for the years the sweeping locust has eaten..." That is a verse I have often hoped would be true in my life. There was so much that was consumed during my husband's betrayal and abandonment.
I hadn't read these passages in quite a while, and I got to thinking about how God has fulfilled them in my life. It's sure been different than I expected. I always thought it would mean a new husband, and more children, and financial prosperity. Instead, it's been this way of providing for and protecting us that is often miraculous. It's been peace and joy in the most real sense. God has indeed been a husband to me.
Reading over those passages this morning, showed me that the hope I placed in them years ago has come to fruition. I am no longer a woman in the midst of the shrapnel that was my life, clinging to promises of Scripture. I am now living a beautiful life, and am confident of the stability of those promises.
Most of the time.
Although, I would still love to have the husband/children/prosperity part; it is not really the goal. The goal is Jesus. The goal is today. And if He adds to that, then I pray I will not forget the lessons I have learned here.

Now, I need to go and pack.

M'

I dyed my son's hair black. He deserved it. I mean that in the nicest possible way.
He wanted it black, and I have been saying "no," But I gave in.
I told him that it will go back to a normal color for the school year. Because we home school, and what would his teacher think?
Weird hair is kind of my thing, you know. Before I had long, conservative hair, I had a variety of styles. A Mohawk. Burgundy color, green, pink, platinum. So, my son comes by it honestly, is what I'm sayin'.
And I am thinking about a tattoo. Have I told you this? I want one to commemorate my black belt. Maybe. A very small one.
I think I have a little rebellious side that surfaces from time to time in my little homemaker's world. There's not much to rebel against, in truth. I just like a little fun now and again.

I lose you all when I don't write for a couple days, don't I?

July already

I love my house church. You've heard me say this before, and I know I tend to repeat myself. Sorry. But I really can't help it.
I walked in last night to a room full of people that I know. I know their business; their heartaches and struggles, their children, their joy, their hopes and their prayers. We eat together, we pray together, we discuss God's Word, and we really talk. No matter where we all meet, it feels like coming home, just to walk in. And I hug people. I am sooooo not a hug type of person. But I start hugging these people like an over-emotional freak.
Have I told you my epiphany about hugging...rather, why I don't like hugging all my casual friends? I think it's because physical touch is one of my "love languages." Have you read that book? The Five Love Languages. I think I tend to balk at hugging because it seems like too personal and too vulnerable a display.
So, here I am, all hugging and affectionate to these people. It's weird.
My other love language, and the predominate one is Words. I am big on words. But, then, you knew that. What is your love language?

I am going back to the lovely State of Washington in a few days, so I will very likely be blogging every day here very soon.
There is so much to get organized for this little trip. Does anyone want to watch my dog for three weeks? No? I can't imagine why.
Will anyone be able to mow my lawn for those three weeks? Anyone?