Will you respect me in the morning?

My teenager and I were discussing the finer points of dating. Specifically, the question of how far a dating couple should go physically. As a parent, I think he should stay very far from all females until he's ready to marry the girl of my choosing. He can hold her hand after the wedding vows.

For myself, it might be a different matter. Kissing is fun, and I would like to pursue it as a recreational activity. Or an Olympic event.

Is it a different matter?

Someone who is wiser than me lent an interesting perspective to my thinking:
As a young adult, there is a learning process through which one learns to relate to the opposite sex. One must learn the value of commitment, of communication, and finally, of physical expression.
A young person will not be able to understand what a relationship takes, indeed, will likely not be remotely concerned with building a lifelong love.
They are more interested in satisfying their curiosity, and indulging baser urges.

As an adult who has been married, there ought to be a deeper understanding of the power, and the value of relationship. There should be a maturity that allows for more deliberate action, in every aspect of a romance. This is not always the case, obviously. But a seasoned adult is certainly in a better position to understand this than a fledgling teen.

Ergo, where a hormone ridden adolescent ought to refrain from physical expression, an adult may carefully chose to participate (though perhaps not with the intensity of an Olympic event.)

Is that any different than insisting that my kids refrain from alcohol, while I sip my wine? Or refusing to allow them a puff of my cigar? I don't really smoke cigars. Not very often, anyway. Can they cry "hypocrite"?

There's no doubt that I can speak on this issue with my kids from the perspective of a person in the midst of it.
Most of my friends will deal with these issues with their children, from the security of a long standing marriage. Lucky them.
However, my hope is that my kids will see that I am really in-touch with these issues, and that I am speaking from a fresh perspective.
I want them to know that purity is a struggle, but it's one that I have fought for. I want them to know that I can relate when they struggle....you know, when that day comes.

I want my kids to save sex for marriage, but I want more than that for them. I want them to see sexual expression as of priceless value, and for them to pursue Purity in every relationship they have. I must think about this and model a clear example for them to follow. And I must be able to answer their questions with honesty and conviction.

It's also worth noting that I find biblical guidelines for dating to be ambiguous at best. God is clear about how a single person can live with unobstructed devotion to the Lord. I get that.
Married persons can glorify God in the display of Christ's love for the church.
But what about the transition...this weird dating thing we do in the Western world? It seems to me that even here one must live it out in way that brings attention to the Creator. He is the Author of Romance, after all. It was His idea. And a very fine idea it is, if I may say so.

In dating, as in everything else, "whatever you do, in word or deed, do all to the glory of God." Can I kiss to the Glory of God? Can my teenager?

It's sure worth thinking about.