2012, I hereby resolve....

Oh, for Pete's sake.
I've complained about my weight for years, on account of I needed something to write about. I'm such a whiner! Today, I looked in the mirror and saw a 40-something woman wearing a size 6 with a muffin top. It wasn't pretty. In truth, I always feel fairly smug, as long as I'm in the single digits. But, stuff is redistributing as I get older, and IT AIN'T GOOD. So...
I hereby resolve to lose weight.
I HEREBY RESOLVE TO LOSE WEIGHT.
New Year's resolutions might be a good idea, after all.

I need to lose weight to stoke my vanity. My vanity is suffering because of the way my clothes fit. It's not comfortable because of the muffin top. The second reason is so that I will be in good shape for that inevitable open-heart-surgery. That's a short term goal, and a long term goal. That's good, right?

I kind of made a secret sort-of resolution to blog regularly, but if I mention that here, I'll really have to do it. I kind of want to, though. I'm working up to writing a book, since I have such a lot of riveting topics to expound upon. Whatever. Maybe I'll blog more.

I also resolve to monthly set aside money in my kids' savings accounts.
Amen.

That's three resolutions. Actually, since I want to lose 25 pounds, I think that makes it 27 resolutions. That's really a lot. I'm impressed with me. Do stay tuned for the consequences of my enthusiastic declarations.

In other news:

Call me. Call Me! Really, I am Blondie. (If you don't understand that reference, I am not going to take the time to explain it. Google "Deborah Harry", and let's move on.)

My Mother called me today to relay a story about how Everyone agrees that I am the one to call in an emergency. This is based upon a recent incident wherein my Grandfather left his briefcase at the airport. In a panic to find it, my mother called me. I called the airport, they held it for me, I went down and collected it, and returned it to my Grandparents. Mother, who is my biggest fan, can not get over this feat of Sherlock Holmes-like intellectual prowess. Mother is a shy, retiring sort, who tells this story to friends, neighbors, and countrymen alike. I rescued her, and my grandparents, Single handledly!   I confess, if you leave something at the airport, I know exactly what to do. In any other circumstance, however, I make no guarantees. You give me a jingle, if you like, but if airport security isn't involved, your fate is any one's guess.

As I get older, I find that I am more predictable, and less fun. This was announced to me via my mirror, just yesterday, after a somewhat extensive hair coloring project. (I learn a lot from my mirror. Perhaps I just spend too much time in front of my mirror, and so that's where I am when thoughts occur to me. Should I resolve to be less in my own reflection? The mirror seems such an appropriate place for reflection, after all.)
Anyway.
I colored and highlighted my hair. It was a detailed project that I'd worked up to with a great deal of preparation and forethought. The result? Looked exactly like I had prior to the effort. I am so boring! I used to dye my hair black or pink, and never feel regret. These days, I've grown conservative in apperance. I am so lame.

Maybe I should resolve something regarding that...? Next year. I'm going to be very busy with my 27 resolutions for now.

What are yours? Your resolutions, I mean...