Glitter

Patti, a dear girlfriend was teasing me this morning about how I don't stay depressed very long. She said I only stay sad until I turn around and see something shiny. This is a fair and accurate assessment of my usual buoyant personality. I'll tell you, though, that this is being put to the test.

I was wondering what it would look like to "fall apart." When people ask how I'm doing, I fear that I'm at a loss for words. I'm not "fine." Neither am I a basket case. My makeup is on and my hair is done. I'm moving. I'm also prone to leaky eyes just now, and I keep finding that I'm staring off into space in a sort of shock. I'm not alright.

It's like I have an injury that no one can see. There ought to be a glaring bruise, but nothing shows. I look perfectly normal, yet a huge part of me is shattered.

I still have no idea where Don is. I have no idea where to look. I don't even have the luxury of expending all my tears on him. Today is the arraignment for Michael. I expect that the bond will be set out of my price range. So, I have tears in check and important things to do for both these boys.

This is depressing as can be. Sorry. Look around for something shiny.