To Catch a Thief

On the odd chance that my Runaway son is reading my blog, why, this will blow my cover. However, it's just too much fun to keep all to myself. And also, there is a very real chance that I will cry if I do not laugh instead.

In answer to your most fervent of questions: No, we have not caught my son.

I have been following what leads come to me in the most clandestine of activities. There are a variety of these surveillance techniques and uber-secret Facebook strategies. Today, I am going to share with you one of my personal favorites.

The Incognito Stalker

This technique involves fake glasses, a wig, and a great deal of patience.

 

 

Although this disguise reduced the likelihood that my son would see me, sadly, it did not increase my chances of seeing him. It did breed a disproportionate hilarity, as such humor is wont to do in overly stressful situations.

My partner-in-crime and I giggled whilst bemoaning the lack of proper stakeout equipment, such as donuts. In point of fact, I do feel that a bit of planning would be useful. I have it in mind to prepare a small bag of necessary items for the next spontaneous dash to a Possible Sighting. This luggage could wait by the door, packed and ready, much like one does at 39 weeks of pregnancy. (There's nothing like awaiting the arrival of a child to inspire one to radical preparedness!) My bag would hold the necessary elements of disguise, a pair of binoculars, and a snack. If I could find a grappling hook, I would add that too, since I feel that would add to the sense of adventure. And perhaps rope, or duct tape. Simply imagining possible uses for such items would go a long way toward passing the time on a stakeout.

I would also prepare a suitable costume for whomever accompanies me. Kara came along yesterday, and she was terribly recognizable as herself. She's lucky that we didn't run into Don for real. He would no doubt have wondered why Kara was following him accompanied by a short man in drag.

 

 



I fancy that my skills here will one day be much in demand. As those around me watch their children attain the later teen years, I am sure some of them will call upon Detective Kelly.
One day we'll look back on this and laugh. Right?

Meanwhile, I am getting absolutely nothing done around the house. I have a month before me filled with events, houseguests, and preparation for school. I don't have time to be traipsing about in a frenzy trying to find Don. I do, after all, have three other children, a husband, and a house that all need me to expend a certain amount of energy, both physical and emotional. It would be most convenient if Don would turn himself in so that I could invest myself in other things.

But, then, whatever would I write about?