For Pete's sake

Clearly, I have undergone a significant life change. It's affecting my ability to blog. That, however, is about the only complaint I have. Otherwise, all is going swimingly.
This past weekend was The Party of the Year. We had our reception, complete with out-of-town family, long lost friends, and catering. I had convinced Tim to leave the pool uncovered for this occation. It's so pretty when it's uncovered. Every teenager at the party, (and there were not a few), ended up in the swimming pool, fully- clothed. Now that I think about it, that was better than it could have been. They could have stripped for the occasion, and that would have been worse. Personally, I found screaming wet teenagers to be quite festive, if somewhat unexpected and damp.
My wedding dress got ruined at the party, which was less upsetting than it sounds. I was sitting on a piece of patio furniture, whose back legs were unfortunately settling into soft soil. The decent was abrupt, and it precipitated my baptism in a very drinkable red wine. Alas. I liked that dress.
There were people at that party from all over the span of my life and Tim's. There were people I haven't seen in years. One really should host a party like this from time to time. It's like a "This is Your Life" TV show. Remember that? You don;t really need to wait until next time you get married, though. Have a party now. I have about 3 cases of wine left over. And rather too much of the catering. You people didn't eat nearly enough.

Patience, Grasshopper

It's hard to imagine why I don't have time to write just now. Today, I've been on the phone discussing insurance, utilities, and can I just say how very much I HATE QUEST TELEPHONE...? May I say that online?
The boys are at football practice, Tim is assembling a stationary bike, and the younger two are at-one-with-the-screen. TV screen, that is.
I thought I'd say hi.
Marriage is great. I don't know what you all complain about all the time. He cooks, cleans, and adores me. What could be better?
Seriously, I have no creativity for a post. I thought I'd drop in and bore you before going to collect stinky kids from practice.
I'll write more one day real soon.

Matrimony, Day 5

I particularly loved the way my last post was articulate, spelled corretly, and informative. Clearly marriage has addled my brain.
Being married to a muscle machine means that my mornings are filled with protein and physical exertion. The home gym helps. I may be flabby today, but soon I expect I'll look like Barbie for real.
The kids are having a blast. Michael is training like a machine, himself, with two-a-day football practice. Don is mostly watching TV, when he's not begging to have Austin come over. His football practice begins tomorrow, so I expect his life to change radically. The other two are not reallyfinding their lives altered all that much, I suppose.
I'm finding myself to be quite sleep deprived. Tim needs an average of an hour and a half of sleep every day, and I need something closer to ten. Moving always makes it weird to fall asleep. Here, I am in new surroundings, in a strange bed, and right next to another human being. Plus, the ice maker in the fridge is really loud at night. Last night I think I passed out from sheer exhaustion.
That's what coffee is for, right?
I like marriage, still, which is promising. I went to jump in the car this morning to pick Michael up from practice, and found that Tim had filled the gas tank when I wasn't looking. That's a glorious thing. I hate the gas station. Plus, my Grandpa always filled the gas tank for Granny for years and years. So, in my mind I associate that act of kindness with a stellar husband.
Plus, he always brings me coffee in bed.
And he cooks dinner every night.
Hate me yet?
Life is sweet.

bloggong married

So....What's new?

It's Monday afternoon. I am sitting happily at the computer with the keyboard before me. I wonder what I should write about?
I do have pictures from the wedding. I'll post those one day real soon.
The wedding was exactly what a ceremony like that ought to be: short and to the point.
"Do you?"
"I do."
"Do you?"
"I do."
"Kiss her and be done with it."
There was a little more to it, but not much. My new daughter was the maid of honor, and my old son was the best man. Don took photos, and Aaron sort of hopped from chair to chair around the perimeter of the room. It was all over in seven minutes flat. Gosh, Tim was handsome.
Then, we dropped off the kids.
Came home, just the two of us,
.....and played Monopoly all night.
Just kidding. What did you think I was going to say?

Married life is great. Take today, for instance. I took the kids on a walk to the library, read books to them in the living room, and fed us all lunch. Tim payed bills, and did important man stuff, to keep the family all running smoothly. You married people take that stuff for granted, but those of us who have done it all on our own for a hundred years can see the beauty and the relief that such an afternoon might bring.
There's other benefits, too, of course.
Like, he keeps telling me I'm beautiful. I like that a lot.

I'll tell you more about all that's going in in the next couple of days. For now I thought I'd just check in and say "hi."
Hi.

Here comes the Bride

I'll bet you didn't expect to hear from me today.
I am getting married this afternoon, after morning football practice. Two-a-days begin today for Michael's team. He is very excited.
I slept well, surprisingly, and awoke with a prayer on my lips. How in the world am I going to sleep with another person in my bed? I don't suppose one is terribly worried about actually sleeping, at first.
I was working on my quiet time this morning, which was very difficult. I kept trying to read my bible, but the words were not gelling into coherant thoughts as my eyes skimmed the page. So, I tried to pray. It was "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" So, maybe God will delight in that prayer. I know I did.
I freshened up the polish on my fingers and toes. I'm going to clean my ring.
The plan is to shower and shave and primp and stress, after I take Michael to his first football practice. I wonder if I'll be able to eat?

So many of you have called, or texted, or commented, or emailed to let me know that you are thinking of me. I appreciate that so very much. I am well behind on corrospondance, and likely to remain so for some time. I love you, and I thank God for such an amazing group of people in my life.
I am very happy. Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes.
May God be glorified in this marriage, and may I lose ten pounds by one o'clock.
Amen.

The End, and a Beginning

It's time to shift gears for me. I am planning to take one or two loads over to Tim's this morning, and then clean up around here a bit. By afternoon, I intend to relax. My big plan for the evening is to paint my nails. I need to chill out.

I was reflecting this morning on a verse from Second Timothy, wherein Paul writes, " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." I can say that, regarding this period of my life. I was married in 1992, and endured a most grievous time. You have read my various tales of my husband's abandonment, drug use, and the ensuing horrors. He left in '99, but we were not officially divorced until 2002.
I've been alone, then, for a decade. My days have been largely joyful, though sprinkled with financial stress. God Himself has provided for us, often miraculously, always faithfully.
I have minor regrets; things I'd love to do over.
But not a lot.
Overall, I see that God has given me a tremendous gift in the challenges of the past 18 years. He has given me a deep and abiding awareness of my own ignorance, sinfulness, and limitations. This is crucial. I have always been Strong, Intelligent, Determined, Self Righteous, and Proud. I'm kind of a brat. So, the world benefits from a good 18 years of humiliation and discipline applied liberally to my psyche.
And now I have finished with this phase of my life, and am ready to embark on a new one.
I pray that I might remember the hard-won lessons of the past. I would like to take with me all the humility, and none of the baggage.

................All of the above was written this morning, when I was fresh from my time with the Lord. It was early, still. I was all spiritual, and hopeful, as I faced the day. Allow me to bring you up to date on the events so far.
So, Kara came over this morning and helped me with the general insanity, in the hopes of being done before my patience ran out. She is an angel, and a godsend. Her car was loaded to the rafters, as was mine, and we set off to Tim's to deliver the abundant contents of my closet, to his. When, what to my wondering ears....I rounded a corner, and heard the the flap-flap-flapping sound emanating from the driver's side front of my vehicle.
A flat tire.
Very flat.
Dead flat.
So Kara came to add the contents of my car to her own, and to deliver it all to Tim's. I sat and waited for Tim and the AAA man. Tim changed the tire while I sat in the shade. The AAA guy arrived to find the job done.
I have to tell you that a flat tire, on a day like today, is enough to send one to the fetal position to suck one's thumb. Although, now it seems kind of harmlessly amusing.
I still have not begun that relaxing thing I was planning to do today. Neither have I showered. Nor cleaned my surroundings. Other than that, my day is going swimmingly.

I have moved all of my clothes into Tim's closet. Bless his heart. I have way more clothes than him, in case any of y'all had money on that little bet.
Now I am going to shower...and then go to see a movie with Tim and the kids. To start that relaxing thing.
This is my wedding weekend, after all.
I'm on to a new and exciting phase of life.
I'm go glad to have finished strong.

The Queen of Denial

Thank you for checking in to see how I am doing. The going-crazy is progressing nicely. I am moving in a day and a half, which seems rather soon to me. I can't, for the life of me, figure out why I am not packing.
Yesterday I decided that every single item of silky-smooth, and delicate, clothing I had needed to be laundered in preparation for matrimony. An arduous task involving hand washing, and hanging to dry. During this riveting undertaking, I realized that one can't justify packing and moving pantyhose with runs in them. Although one can apparently justify storing them since the early 90's, but I digress. So I have to inspect each pair of nylons, before washing and hanging to dry. Does anyone wear nylons anymore? Why do I own them?
There is something of my Mother in me which forces me to wash things before packing them. I did this the other day while Kara was trying to pack all my fragile tea things. I was scrubbing all the porcelain at the sink so it could be sparkly before being enshrouded in newspaper. Because I'm sure the newspaper won't leave ink on it, or anything.
So, every doorway in my home is crowded with hangers draped with drying undergarments. Because that's a sensible use of my time and space.

Tim and I have been running around, checking things off our list, madly. And The Big Day is nearly here. On Friday I shall be "Mrs".

I am wanting to bury my head in the sand, my nose in a good book, or run off to the movies. Anything but move. It's very overwhelming, this change thing.
On Saturday, I started in with tears before I even got out of bed. It's not that I'm sad, far from it! Life is a fairy tale right now, but it's a really drastic switch of everything. I'm moving across town, changing my name, giving up my privacy, doubling my number of children. I'll have a new car, house, identity, school system, and economic situation. I'm thrilled. I'm also spinning. Saturday, I started crying in the morning, and couldn't quite get a grip. Has that ever happened to you? I walked into Tim's house, and tears started to stream down my face. I ordered half a sandwich at lunch, was given a whole, and lost it again. That poor man must have thought I'd lost my mind. Everything's great, I'm just entirely overwhelmed.

And I still have to pack. The boys are all moved in already. It's just my stuff that's got to go.
I'm going to go do something about that. Any. Minute.

Daily details

I'm out of practice with the whole shopping thing. For the past decade, 35 bucks spent at the Goodwill constituted a shopping spree. But, I think I'm getting the hang of it.
In the past couple of weeks, we've been buying stuff. I have to tell you that furniture stores, and Mall retailers, become far more interesting when you're looking to buy, than they are for the discontented Browser.
Yesterday, for instance, we bought a sofa. We got to pick out fabric, and custom order the thing. I heart my fabric. We won't see the actual product until sometime in October.
We also bought his wedding ring. I am so not over the fact that I get to marry Tim from house church!!!! How did I get so lucky?

It's been raining here. My tan is fading. It's blue-jean weather. Which has been great since I haven't worked-out since early Spring. This has been the oddest Summer on record, in my book. School begins in about three weeks, and I'm really looking forward to that routine. We'll try Summer again next year.

I have visions of married life dancing in my head. In my imagination, marriage looks like this:
Sleeping in the arms of a handsome man,
rising early to freshly brewed coffee and a clean house,
a vigorous exercise hour once the kids are off to school,
and then a leisurely homeschool routine.
Can you just hear the music swell?
After the kids are all happily home again from their various schools and sports, we will lovingly gather around the bountiful table prepared by my Man Chef.
Once the dishes are washed and dried by the children, we will look to the man of the family for evening devotions,
and then tuck the children into an early bed,
that we might enjoy what's left of our evening.
While he rubs my feet.

Oh, shut up.

We'll have two in football, one in volleyball, two at elementary school, one at high school, and one homeschooled. We have two dogs, one cat, four cars, and a lizard.
If we see each other at all, it will be in passing, as we run from one event to another. When we finally tumble into bed at night, we'll be tired as any long-married couple. Perhaps I should reevaluate my expectations.

The house is still a shambles, though the garage is somewhat organized. My yard is in dire need of an energetic work crew, and a large sum of money. And there's packing yet to be done.
But, today, I am going to go lay by the pool, since the rain has cleared. I will be wearing a white dress on Friday, and I need to freshen up my tan.
One has to keep one's priorities straight.

Moving on up, to the Eastside. To that Deeeluxe apartment in the sky

I started moving yesterday.
Kara came over and assisted me with the packing of my various fragile things. It's kind of her specified job whenever I move. Love her.

Poor Tim. He cleared out the guest room, so that I could begin to pile my belongings in there. It would be so much easier to move one household into an empty house. In this case, I am moving all my stuff into an existing home. Integrating all of my belongings is likely to be a more careful process than it would be in a conventional move.

Ornamentation is my delight, and Tim is a minimalist. I drape surfaces in lace and knick-knacks, he keeps all surfaces clutter free. I group art and shelving on every wall....he has one picture in the entire living room. There is going to be a period of adjustment. For him. He has yet to gain a real appreciation for the usefulness and beauty of doilies. Poor man.

I took my hats over to his house. Have you seen my hat collection? I threw away three as a nod to simplifying.

Tim and I had a conversation in which we discussed the appropriate allocation of his-and-hers closet space. He says he's willing to go as far as 50%. I asked for the entire top shelf, which he granted me. He doesn't use it, and it's ideal for my hats, purses, and scarves. I have a lot of accessories, and now they adorn the top of his closet. They look really nice up there, if I do say so myself. Now I need to bump his clothes off of the hanging bar, so I can get the rest of my stuff over there.

Don has been systematically, and efficiently, moving himself into his room there. Love that boy. He will carefully pack two boxes, go unpack them, and bring the boxes home to reuse. He is orderly and deliberate.
And then there's Michael.
I looked in the one box Michael has so far managed to pack to be moved into his new room. "Haphazard" is one word for what I found. "Biohazard" would be another. The box was a jumble of loose CDs, empty candy wrappers, and dirty socks. If Tim allows this teenager to survive, it will be an act of mercy beyond my wildest expectations.

Meanwhile, this house is a jumble of stacks and piles. Every room has pockets of odds and ends, which are begging to be addressed.
...Which reminds me of what I really ought to be doing. So, I guess I'll go do it.

Moulon Rouge Deux

Jessie is the ultimate party thrower. She hosted, catered, and otherwise ensured that I had the very most amazing bridal shower that ever there was.

Here's a few of my very oldest friends in the world. We were enjoying the photography rather a lot. Except for Heidi, who looks surprised, or fearful, or something.

There are my sisters: Amanda, Danielle, and Bentley.

And this is me with my mom, and Kara with her mom. The mother/ daughter mix always adds to the fun. Especially when the conversation would turn risque, and Kara would not make eye contact with her mom. That was fun. Of course, my Mother is the one who taught me to be risque....she may have taught Kara, too, come to think of it.

Moulon Rouge, Part I

Despite the fact that I have no pictures, yet, I do have the best friends in the world. Evidence of that was grandly displayed at the Beautiful, and slightly scandelous, bridal shower on Friday night.
There were those feather boa thingys, and champagne, and food, and rather a lot of ladies. I am rich in my variety of friends. There were sisters and mothers, homeschool moms and lacrosse moms, dedicated Christians, and even my two favorite lesbians.
Jessie opened our time with a prayer of thanksgiving and dedication to the God of Creation.
These women, whether they love the Lord, or not, had the opportunity to hear that God is Faithful, and that He is the Giver of Good Gifts. The entire evening was a celebration of romance. God's best is worth waiting for.
This time in my life is so joyful. People seem drawn to that. It's been a chance to tell, over and over again, of all that God has done.
You're still thinking about the fact that I said "lesbian," aren't you? I don't know why those girls put up with me, but they are very respectful and gracious to my bible believing, right-wing ways. I love them, and I pray that they see something of Jesus in me. Plus, they are sweethearts, and I quite like them.
But, as I was telling you, I have great friends.
There was this room full of people. Some I'd known for 2 years, some for 35, most somewhere in between. I felt so surrounded by love in that room. Nevermind that my mother flunked the test called "How Well Do You Know Kelly?" She did. She flunked. Mother, remember all those times I shouted "You just don;t understand me!"? Well, turns out I was right.
Who won that, anyway? I can't remember who won. It was one of those bridal shoower games. There was one where they quized me about Tim, to see how well I know him. I got a 50%, so don't be judging Mother too harshly. I plan to study the half I don't know after the wedding.
Speaking of the Wedding!!!! Did I tell you how our scandal rocked the church? Celebate Christian Couple Denied Church Wedding.... Well, now we're back to being married there by our favorite pastorish person!
So, that's good news.
Have you ever seen so many links in one blog?
.....Now I'm totally off track and distracted from reading all my old blogs while trying to link for this one. I'm giving up. I'll be back tomorrow to tell you all about the stuff I acquired at the stimulating party on Friday night.

Pattti's Pretty Picture Prep:

The bridal shower was really more fun than any party has a right to be. I shall give you the grizzly details once I have photos to go along with my story. Patti took a gazillion pictures, and I took zero. We'll wait for hers.

In a related story:
We are now back to being married at the church. This is an exciting new development. Tim had himself a heart-to-heart with one of the Pastors in Charge, and explained the irony of our situation. That Tim is level headed and articulate.
We'll be in premarital discipleship for the next months, and we'll still get married in two weeks. That's the deal.

I'm off this morning to get my hair trimmed. Perhaps also my roots will be touched up. My hair is very, very bleached out from sun and chlorine. And also from bleach. You will see evidence of this in the upcoming photos.

To all of you who have said, "Hey if you need any help, just give me a call." Now is the time. Beginning bright and early this Wednesday, my moving and cleaning kicks into high gear. I need Yard help, Packing fragile things help, Truck driving loads to donate help, And general pep talks.

Alrighty Then. I need more coffee before my sister picks me up for the Salon....

A word

I am so sexy right now, that I pretty much want to marry myself. Perhaps it's the fumes from the hairspray and the nail polish. I am wearing more ornamentation than my fake tree at Christmas. Can you say "Bling"?
Tonight is the bridal shower.
Tomorrow, I assume there will be pictures to share.
You should check back then.

Those Voluptuous Puritans

My Bridal shower, that bawdy event, is coming up. My girlfriends, Christian women all, are going to harass and embarrass me, for their own jolly thrills. And also for mine. We are going to have a blast. I've been thinking of risque tidbits that I can share about each of them as the evening progresses. Turnabout being fair play, and all.

I had to fill out a questionnaire from the church, for pre-married people. Those church folks asked rather a shocking number of questions about sex.
Are we having it? Have we had it? How do we feel about it? and When was the last time we each did....er...it? I am feeling a smug surge of jocularity over my answer to this particular question:
"What has been your sexual relationship with each other?"
To which I gleefully replied, "Enthusiastic Expectation!"
I hope they appreciate my sense of humor.

There's always that question, too, about how my first marriage ended. I never know how to give a concise answer without sounding terribly trite, or flat out untruthful. "Oh," I usually say, "he abandoned us for a life of drugs and criminal activity. Meth, mostly." Then, whomever I'm talking too, will nod and sigh, as if the word 'meth' explains everything. Perhaps it does.

But, we were talking about sex.
Which is a nice change of topic from my usual complaining about how swamped I am. Allow me to remind you how dreary that topic can be: My brother and his wife are coming into town this weekend for a visit. They will be staying here, so I should clean. I have a hair appointment, a pedicure, and also a bridal shower to attend. Just this weekend. There's the normal work routine, and a stack of bills that need my attention. Have I mentioned the yard work and the packing?

So, you can see why I am lingering over sex.
Or rather the discussion thereof.
Or something.

The 'H' word

Tuesday has arrived with sunshine, and a messy house. I'm a-workin' on my coffee, and listening to the local Christian radio station.

Tim and I have been doing a daily devotion for couples. It's been a great source of discussion. We've been using this nearly a year already, which will have us done with the book the first week of September.
Todays discussion is on the evils of TV, which I suspect will be a robust conversation. In case you haven't heard, I have raised my boys without a TV, and my dearly beloved man owns six or eight of the things.
I hate TV.
HATE it.
Except for 24. That's now my show. See, this Summer, while it's not on, Tim and I have been getting the old seasons of the show for me to watch. I'm all sucked in like it's a soap opera. Now I've seen seasons 6 and 7, and I think we're going to get season 5 next.
But, as I was saying....I hate TV.
Well.
Perhaps you would like to be a fly on the wall for that discussion.

We have still not found our dog. Don is out hanging signs all over the place, in the hope that someone will return her to us. That poor kid. Years ago, when we moved into this house, our dog ran away and was killed by a car a week before we moved. Now my kids think we're jinxed.
We are moving in two weeks.
I should pack something. Which is a whole 'nother topic. Don't you hate it when people say "whole 'nother"? I hate that, too. Bad English should not be tolerated.

Do you know what else I hate?
Hay fever.
Teenagers who drink milk from the carton.
Photos in which I am fat.
Dark roots in my hair.
Car trouble.
Weeds.
A busy schedule.
Video games.
Complainers....Umm.

Three weeks, and counting

It's good that I have blogging to fill my time. Else, what would I do?
My rooms are getting cluttered, as rooms are prone to, in the immediate expectation of a move. I have eliminated bureaus, but not the contents of the drawers. I've pulled pictures off the walls, but they are needing to be moved to their new home. There are stacks of books and papers that I need to go through before packing. I was thinking that I'd much rather go shopping, or something.

Yesterday was a 15 hour day at Tim's, trying to care for the Limping One. The Un-compliant Limping One. The One who kept wanting to jump to his feet, and do laundry, or cook. Seriously, what man in his right mind would forgo an opportunity to lay around and be served by a willing woman all day? I offered to feed him grapes and fan him by the pool. His industrious nature is one of those man things I appreciate so much about him. I can't stand sedentary people. You know, people who blog all day. Tim gets stuff done.
While he was sitting still-ish, we settled on the food for the reception. Check that off the list. We're making fantastic progress on that list, in fact. Which is a good thing, considering that The Big Day is very nearly here.

So, today, I need to bustle about getting things done around here. Where do I begin?
My lawn mower is broken, and so I have half a mind to send the kids out there with scissors. That would keep them out of my hair while I clean and pack!

Off to do....something.

You're not it

I spent three hours in the waiting room, while he was in surgery.
I'm getting good at waiting rooms.
Fortunately, the magazines there were all current, so I am all up on Michael Jackson's kids, and that Jon + Bimbo- wife- eight= story. I did a lot of reading in three hours.
When I switched from coffee, to water from the cooler, the doctor finally entered the waiting area. She explained that the surgery had gone well, and that he should be fine, and would I like to go back to the recovery room?
He was smiling, at least. It was a sleepy, drugged smile.
There was my man all hooked up to an IV, in a hospital gown, and a blood pressure monitor. He was incredibly hot, in that hospital bed. How is that possible?
It was a planned surgery to repair his knee, and he was able to go home right away.
We spent the day by the pool, with me trying very hard to do everything for him without seeming like a mother hen. He was very gracious, despite the fact that I must have been annoying as can be.
The good doctor commanded that Tim not be left alone for 24 hours. Which, I felt was a legitimate eccuse for me to spend the night. He did not agree. Alas.
Now, I'm at my own home, and very tired indeed.

Next loved one in the hospital is a rotten egg.

Marching Forth

Is is possible to workout less than I have been? I think not. It would be possible to eat less, though, and that is an option I need to consider.
Stress is not good for me.
As Cher so wisely taught us, "the beat goes on." And so it does.
I'm watching the days slip into the recent history. That once overwhelming list, is getting accomplished, bit by bit.

Yesterday at work, I announced my two week notice.

We're getting down to the very last few days of my Single Parenthood. What a relief.
I understand well the pressure of being responsible for myself. There are benefits to that, sure. But I'm relieved to place myself, and my children, under the care of a good man.
And he is a good man. I go about my days with the delicious suspicion that no woman alive is loved as much as I am.

We were learning about the whole biblical concept of the Two becoming One. The speaker was pointing out that there is the death of the individuals, and the emergence of an entirely new entity. "I" cease, and "Us" quickens. The echo of that transformation will reverberate through all of our world. That is new, and frightening, and exceptionally beautiful.
So I am mindful of those little things which will no longer be my lot. The king sized bed to myself? No more. Leaving the dinner dishes 'til morning? That ain't gonna happen. Girlfriends over to drink wine and giggle 'til all hours? Not really.

I would like to be better, for him. I'd like to be more like him. Tim challenges me, and teaches me, and loves me so well. Somebody pinch me....I get to be his wife!

And the countdown continues.
The beat goes on.

You know how I'm real humble? Well, surprisingly, I'm on this Greek goddess kick. I can't make up my mind whether I want to be Aphrodite, or Hera. It's a tough decision.

This is what I'm thinking my hair should do to go along with the Greek goddess dress.



I don't like gladiator sandals. They aren't pretty. I'm thinking that if I'm to be a goddess, I can wear any shoes I want. Or maybe none at all. I'd be a barefoot beauty, if I were a real goddess.

Why can't I just dress up a little, like a normal person? Not me, I have to go in costume.
Are you all familiar with my cape?


How about my hat collection?


My wigs?


It isn't natural.

So, here I go again. I'm on Broadway, and it's not even a public, televised ceremony. It's private, for Pete's sake.

Does Tim know what he's getting into? That is your question.

Fortunately, Tim is a tad bit flamboyant, too. I'll have to get a photo for you of his Pimp-Daddy vehicle.

Dressing Bridezilla

I think I found my dress.
Allow me to repeat: I THINK I FOUND THE PERFECT ABSOLUTELY MOST WONDERFULEST DRESS.

It just came to my doorstep, via the UPS man. I look slender and 20 and also very tan. It's rather Grecian, don't you think?
Now we need to find me some shoes, and a veil-like thingy.....continue shopping, Dani!

I actually have another three dresses coming in the mail, so we'll see if one of them is more perfect. Can you imagine? That would be very confusing. Maybe I'd have to get married multiple times.