Hilary For the President

I meant "Hilarity for the Present."
Which is ironic, considering that I have not encountered a great lot of hilarity all day. Neither have I encountered Hilary....and I truly hope she doesn't become president, because she seems more dishonest than a Monday in January.
Today was every inch a Monday in January. My day went something like the following:

I began the day with a Retinol eye mask, guaranteed to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles....but it was no match for the age on my face. I applied a lovely shade of blonde to my persistently dark, and increasingly grey, roots. Mercifully,it helped. A vigorous workout, a lunch date with my oldest two and a pate of sushi, and then the downward spiral began.

"Is that a flat tire?"
"You could be a grandmother"
"I'm going to jail tomorrow, can you give me a ride?"
"Your Grandmother may only have months to live."
"Your hip will never allow you to run again."
"You may want to consider drinking. Heavily."

- Some of those things were actually said to me, and some were things I basically said to myself. You'll have to use your imagination, because I'm not going to clarify. The effect was about the same, though, as if Hilary had called Herself to report on doomsday. The onset of an aggressive bout of PMS may have tainted my perspective somewhat, but it's hard to say to what extent. Needless to say, I really need a mulligan. Or a stiff drink. Or a more aggressive eye cream. Heaven knows we need a new president.

TV

I am feeling somewhat better after my Charlton Heston/Rush Limbaugh breakdown on Sunday. It comes of watching TV (the breakdown, not the feeling better.)
On Sunday, I was wondering what was happening with the health care vote thingy, so I decided to turn on the telly. This is not something I had ever done before in the house. That's the truth. Anyway, I was astonished to find that there does not appear to ba a power button anywhere on the TV. Nor are there any other buttons or dials. Who designed that? I found two remotes, which seemed neccessary since one turned the thing on, and the other controled volume. Changing the channel was a drama unto itself. But I managed. Then I sat in awe as the Political People debated and voted. It was very irritating, and I was wishing that I had something handy to throw at the TV.

There is one regular show that I watch. '24' Tim got me into it when we were dating, and now I'm all sucked in. Monday evenings are set aside for our show. We gather 'round the TV and bond like a 21st century family. Is is wrong that my children watch 24? Probably.

Tim just told me that there is a new season of some reality fight show begining. 'Ultimate Fighter.' He loves that one. I think it's really stupid. Who wants to watch a bunch of overgrown adolecents have half of their speech bleeped out while they stuggle to exalt their egos? I'm just sayin.'

TV is of the Devil. I'm convinced. Except for 24.

Angry at Politics

Well, Shoot.
You know how I am loath to blog about political nonsense. But my gun-owning, conservative, tea-partying self has something to say.
Obama, you suck.
Palosi, you too.
I do not want the government to take over my bank, my health care, the auto industry, or any other aspect of my life, or the private sector. It used to be that folks who made unwise business decisions ended up closing shop, rather than being bailed out by Big Brother. It used to be that Americans were free to decide what services and products they wished to purchase, rather than being forced by Federal Government. It used to be that we had a government For the People, and By the people.
Those days are apparently over.
Shame on you Democrates in Washington. If you want socialism, I'll buy you a one-way ticket out of My Land of the Free. GO AWAY.

Oh, I'm just not very happy about politics today.

Blooo-ue Moon and the Evil take over of America

You know how I think that TV is of the Devil? My opinion does not extend to movies, except for rated 'R' movie. Those are certainly of the Devil.
We watched New Moon last night.
Rather, I watched it, and Tim rolled his eyes dramatically until I suggested that he move out to the patio so he could watch basketball, which he promptly did. I loved the books in spite of myself. The movies just are really terrible. Does anyone besides me notice that none of the people can actually, you know, act? Am I the only person who thinks Edward looks malnourished and disheveled? In the books he was sort of an old fashioned and noble hero who was strikingly attractive. How come that didn't make it onto the movies?
Maybe the story just doesn't translate onto the big screen. As it played out in my imagination while reading, the whole thing worked. More or less. On the screen it looks ridiculous.
That's my opinion.
I'll see the next movies, though. 'Cause I'm hoping they get better.

Are any of you watching Washington today? I have strong opinions on all that, too. We'll see how the "vote" goes today. I may be complelled to write about politics and evil dictators tomorrow. You never can tell.

George Orwell was here

I hab a bery 'tuffy node.

Perhaps Obama and the WHO will diagnose me with Swine flu, or bird flu, or monkey fever. Ebola?
"Obama and the WHO" sounds like a rock-n-roll band, which should bring a smile to our esteemed president's face. He digs publicity. Quick! Someone call a press conference!
Why is the new Pandemic called "swine" flu? Let's get "save the swine" tee shirts. Or they could say, "Pigs make me sick."
Why does the news make it sound like a reason to panic? Maybe it is, and I just don't understand. Don't lots of people worldwide get one kind of the flu, or another, all the time? What about all those folks dying from abortion? Is that a pandemic? Oh, don't get me started.
Apparently this sneeze has put me in a feisty sort of mood.
Who wants to talk politics?
I have a new access to Television, because it surrounds my gym experience, and so I have to see Obama on there every flipping day. That silly man wants me to believe that the whole world is at odds, and he's here to put it to rights. OH, puh-lease. I guess that I would be labeled a danger to society for saying that Obama is not, in fact the Messiah. There it is.
Now I've declared myself, I'll probably end up on a list of "undesireables."
We could have a tea party, though, and that would be nice. Just don't sneeze on my crumpets.
Do pigs like NyQuil? It's a controlled substance, you know. Big Brother needs to see your I.D. before he'll let you buy it.

Democrates, and Republicans, and Vampires...Oh My!

What election?
I have been reading a book, for heaven's sake, and I'm utterly useless. It's the one vampire book that every one's talking about. It's riveting. I am currently wondering if perhaps Tim is a romantic and passionate vampire. That could add a new dynamic to our relationship, eh?
It's called Twilight; have you read it? I think the intended audience is 15 and female, so say whatever you want. Who cares if I'm immature and mellow dramatic? I needed a little distraction from real life. I can't put it down.

Don't worry about my vote, I went this morning and made my mark on this fine democratic process. My cousin went and cancelled my vote with hers, though. Meanie.
I am actually quite proud of her. This was her first foray into the American privilege of voting.
Who's going to win, do you think?

I was reading out to my children from the latest Eragon sequel. Great book, that. But now that I'm into my own book, I've abandoned that endeavor. In truth, I figure the faster I get through the one I'm reading, the sooner I can get back to my children. Of course the book I'm reading has several sequels, too.

In case you were wondering, I was a Pirate for Halloween. I like costumes a lot.

Although it's nice chatting with you, I need to go get back to my book.
Are you reading anything interesting?

African Sleeping Sickness

I have been sleeping 10 or 11 hours each night, which seems excessive. It's a colossal waste of time. I do it every year, though, when the nights get long. My body just figures that if it's dark, I should be asleep. When I am asleep, I am not exercising, or cleaning, or blogging, or educating my children. Just for the record, they sleep even longer than I do. Maybe it's a familial affliction.

I've been reading a lot. And thinking a fair amount. I have not been working. One of the downsides to the economic collapse is that people are losing their jobs, and therefore not needing daycare. I need to figure out a way to get paid for sleeping and reading.

I know a man who believes that Obama is the Antichrist. This man is packing up and moving to Ecuador, because he fears the one-world government. I find this 'logic' perplexing. If there is, in fact, a one world government, wouldn't you need to move to another world to escape? Why would Obama be the Antichrist? Are there large numbers of people who believe this to be a viable possibility? Maybe he's an alien, and he's here to take over this planet. Then he could set up an intergalactic government.

The elections are coming upon us rapidly. Won't it be fascinating to see what happens?

I mean, Obama could be the Antichrist, I guess. I believe that there will be an antichrist one day. The bible talks about the inevitability of that. I just don't see getting all worked up over it. It's going to happen one of these days, and God's got it all under control.

Personally, I think that lots of sleep is the answer. If everyone in the world was gettig enough rest, perhaps we'd be more amiable, and less likely to panic.

My Two Cents

I've been thinking a bit about the state of our nation, and all the excitement in the political climate.
The economic crisis is dreadful, there's no doubt about it. However, it does seem to be a natural product of the excesses America is so famous for. I wonder what kind of lessons we will have learned looking back, five years hence?
The next leader of this country is a concern.
I watched the debate the other night with interest. That Obama is a fantastic Shaman...I mean Show man. He is handsome, and poised. Most of the public can't really discern whether or not he knows what he's talking about, but he seems believable. He's smooth, and I don't trust him a lick.
McCain, on the other hand, seems to have good experience. He has the possibility of a great team. The guy just doesn't present well. He seems awkward, agitated, and out of touch. He seems very well versed in the political machine, which could be a tremendous asset, however, he seems way too far removed from the people.
I was wondering if McCain would be like Abraham Lincoln. That was a very effective leader during a critical time in our nations history, yet he didn't seem at all presidential to the people of his day.
What do you think are the biggest issues? The economy, certainly. The war. Foreign policy. What else?
What do you think are the biggest requirements for the next leader of our country? Experience in politics? Integrity?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Sarah's Suit, and the Sand

Did you watch the debate?
Sarah had a fantastic suit on. And did you see her shoes? That lady has style. You've gotta give her that. Wouldn't she pretty-up foreign policy? I thought she sounded tremendously smart, too. The other guy seemed a little cranky, though. He was old and upstaged by the beauty he was debating, so you can't really blame him for being down on himself.
I wish that these two were running for president, because I think that they are far more charismatic than their running mates. The main guys just don't seem all that, well, Presidential.
I watched the debate at Tim's. He has 5 TVs. Have I mentioned this? How can I be in love with a man who owns 5 TVs?
Today we're off to explore the Sand Dunes. I've been there before, but Tim and his kids haven't. If I am smart, I'll take lots of pictures to share with you.
Have a lovely day, Friends.

Presidential platform

I, Kelly Blogger, do hereby accept the people's nomination for President of these United States.
The United States of America will thrive under my confident leadership. I will lower taxes, cut government spending, and eliminate blue eye shadow altogether.
Together we shall bridge the widening gap between the political parties of this Great Union. With this goal in mind, I shall ensure that upon my election, every registered Republican will receive a handgun, and ammunition for their personal use. Each registered Democrat will be provided with a Deciduous Tree with which to better the environment.
Together we will mend the failing economy with the American Values of hard work and sacrifice. The companies that are failing, will be allowed to do so unhindered. Tax write-offs will be given to individuals and families who have no unsecured credit. Stay-at-home mothers will earn a tax deduction for the benefit of their families. Charge cards to retail stores will henceforth be declared unlawful.

With the vision and leadership that I bring to the American people, our future will be secure. Fashion and finance will be my top priorities, and you can count on a Unified, Strong, and Beautiful land, once again.
God Bless America!

The sky is falling

Well, well, well
It would seem that a viral attack has commenced upon my precious social circle. Many of those around me are succumbing to fever, sore throat, and a bit of a puny tummy. I am putting my faith in Lysol, Airborne, and frequent hand washing. (And possibly in boxed wine; that stuff could kill anything. Mother brought a box a couple weeks ago, because she was feeling spunky. I poured myself a little glass this evening, and noticed that it tastes just the same as it did when we first opened the box thingy. So, it keeps well. Thing is, it's just nasty stuff. Red should not be chilled, either.) But I digress....Can I offer you a glass?

How have you been?

We have viral attacks, a grinding political machine, and an economy in a tailspin. What could be better? This is one of those times I am rejoicing that I have no money to lose.

If we go into another Great Depression, I think we could hunt squirrels and ride the rails, like they did in the '30's. We could be Hobos. Do you think we'll have shanty towns, like they did back then? That would be a stellar way to get money away from the mortgage people. We could build lean-tos by Capitol Hill.

All of the talk of economic collapse really does make me think of all that our Grandparents lived thru. Those were hard times. I remember stories of them eating squirrel or frogs, and I've seen the care they take with finances to prevent ever being in such need again. But, I think what's struck me lately, is the thought of what they went thru as the economy collapsed. The dawning realization as they began to see that there really was no way to pay the bills. No heat for winter. No shoes for the kids. No food. What sleepless nights there must have been. What knots in the pits of their stomachs. What fear and hopelessness.
Yet, they survived.
They thrived, even. They grew into the most recourceful and sane generation this country has seen. And they rebuilt the economy. They built lives for themselves, and for us.
We have now de-evolved into an artificial economy of Credit. It's a house of cards. It's greed at it's ugly best.

It will be interesting to see what happens, huh?

If we survive the fever, and we survive the depression, we may live long enough to vote. Won't that be fun?

The rare thought politic

I like Sarah Palin, so far. This morning I was reading about how the conservative Christian folks of this great nation just love her. She's an "average soccer mom" with kids, and a blue collar husband. She's not your normal politician, and she's totally pro-life. Ok.
Here's my admittedly primeval question: Why are the Christians all stoked about having a working mom in the White House?

Whatever happened to "the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world?"

Where is the value in raising up children in the "Nurture and admonition of the Lord?"

I'll vote for her. It's just ironic to me that family values are being represented by a woman who has made her career outside of her family.

Ya'all have fun with that in the comment section.