Large and lovely lies

I've been struggling with my weight. By "struggle" I mean that I avoid my reflection and wear elastic waistbands. There has not been a lot of actual physical exertion or appetite denial involved. I'm thicker than I've ever been since pregnancy, I think. I eat more, I exercise less, I'm over 40, and I have a thyroid out of whack.
To inspire myself to heights of motivation, I set about to read through my own blog posts labeled under the "weight loss" category. This one made me want to slit my wrists. How annoying was I?

The thyroid condition has given me a lovely scapegoat for all that ails me. It shoulders the blame for every negative thing I encounter, which would otherwise be my personal responsibility.  Things like laziness, moodiness, bad hair days....it's all a product of a hormonal imbalance. Medication brings me hope. Chocolate has brought me comfort. Here I sit, widening.
Broadening my horizons.
Expanding my options.
Swelling with pride.

Speaking of pride, who reads their own writing for entertainment? Besides me, I mean. Vain much?

I'm doing this bible study on Satan. (Which just seems wrong, now I see it in writing.) It's interesting, though. We are looking at all the bible teaches about this particular fallen angel and his compatriots. I'm baffled by their audacity; did they really think they could win? It occurred to me this morning that Satan is prideful and ambitious, while Jesus is humble and submissive. This truth rudely smacked me with the realization that I am way more like the evil one, than like He Whom I aspire to Imitate. There seems to be rather a great deal of my self which is inclined toward things that are so far off of what I claim that I want to be.

The bible teaches that Satan is the originator of Lies. I am very comfortable with lies, as long as they are dressed up and to my liking. Exaggeration is a form of lying that I heartily embrace. So is that particular gift of "spinning" a subject to make it more palatable. Truth can be very difficult to swallow in it's rawest forms. In fact, I find it way easier to be strictly honest with others than to be strictly honest with myself.

Take my weight issue, for instance. (Please, take my weight issue!) I frequently buy the lie that I'll feel better if I eat that ice cream. Or I tell myself that I need a second helping, because I'm not full yet. I tell myself that I look pretty good for someone my age, or that I'll exercise tomorrow. Lies!

I just made my weight a spiritual issue.
A satanic issue!
A sin issue.....ouch.

From what I see in my bible, Jesus was truthful, and humble, and submissive to His Father's Will. This is the goal, and I suspect that every area of my life would be changed, were I to maintain my focus.
Who am I imitating?
Who are you imitating?