My world is expanding bit by bit, despite all of my efforts to contain it. These children of mine keep dragging me into unfamiliar territory.
Tonight it was a meeting for Lacrosse moms.
I don't like to meet new people, and I don't like to be in a room of people that I don't know and don't like. Do you see how many times I said "don't"?
My social circle is very spiritual, in the sense that it includes roughly 12 people, with an inner circle of 3. Give or take a few. Ok, so it's like 24 and 6, but work with me here. Jesus had 12 friends with an inner circle of 3. See how I am working this?
I like my few friends.
These are all the people I need. These are the folks that I talk to, and worship with, and sin with. I have no desire to meet anyone else, ever.
I'm a little shy, if you want to know the truth.
So, there I was, at this Lacrosse meeting thingy, around a table with self confident moms who have their nails done. All I wanted to do was to slide under the table and suck my thumb. Instead, I sat there hating them, and smiling, and nodding in the way I do that says, "I want to be your best friend."
And I got out of there fast as you please once the meeting was done.
I was telling Kara about this on the phone. I told her about all these perfect moms with expensive clothing and employed husbands. She said that she thinks those are the very same women who go to ballet. It's all the same perfect women at these things. She said it's the Kids Sports Community.
I'll be all lovey-dovey with this crowd in two months. Right?
It's only strangers that I dislike.
3 comments:
I hear you here Kelly! All I think about at those meetings is - whom are they trying to impress? If they are hunting guys, most are sharp enough to know how shallow they are because all they do is groom themselves! If they are trying to impress eash other ... why? Must be a girl thing. Outside of a corporate office not many guys try to out dress / out groom each other. And if they did ... well ...
I remember the first year I had the kids and had them in a private school because the school had Russian teacher, so it was a perfect first year for them. However, every afternoon I got to wait for my kids on a lawn with dozens of Barbie Dolls all discussing how hard it was to find good gardners / cooks / maids, etc! And here I was trying to figure out how to stretch my francs for a few more days......
Go figure.
These poor gals are probably perfectly nice, and it's just my own silly insecurities.
I've no idea why I have such a hard time with strangers, must be a defect from the manufacturer.
I hate to sound preachy, but honestly, those women all feel just as insecure as you do. They maybe just hide it better behind their manicures.
Have you ever considered that maybe your circle is a little too small? And that perhaps God wants to push you a bit to love women who don't appear to need anything, least of all love?
I've totally been there. But because I'm married to a man who constantly expands our circle just by nature of his personality, I know that opening your heart to the fact that we're all just hurting people trying to manage life - and all in need of grace - has helped me to love when I don't feel like loving.
And I wouldn't expect that you'll all be best friends by the end of lacrosse season. My experience is generally that people are so afraid of each other that you can stand next to them week after week after week and never connect in any real way... it's sad, really.
Okay. I'm stepping off my soap box.
Happy Thursday!
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