A close one

It is imperative that I read my bible every day of my life.
Being on vacation, we were sure out of our routine. I would stumble to the kitchen in the mornings, and find myself in conversation before I'd even had my coffee. Under normal circumstances, I read my bible as I drink that coffee, and certainly before I speak to another human being.
Without the Washing of the Word and quiet meditative prayer, I am a monster. Seriously! The mean and selfish tension in my head gets so noisy. It's like everything wicked in my heart begins to swirl within me, until I feel mean as a snake. It's then that I'd like to climb out of my skin. It's not just that I don't like myself, it's that I can't really stand anyone at all.
This morning, I was getting ready for church, and I had this prayer-ish talk with God. I said something like, " Ugh... we haven't talked much for a few days, and all that ugly in me is so loud that I couldn't really hear You, anyway. I'm gonna go to church now, so if you could help with cleaning out this mess in my head and my heart, I'd be much obliged." And you know what? He did.
There was music, and good old fashioned preaching. My inner swirling dirvish began to lose momentum. I can think again. Whew.
It got me to thinking about the sort of person I would be without this life of the Holy One within me. It would be miserable. That connection with Him is so crucial to all that is Good. I must work to maintain it. Otherwise, there is more potential for disaster in me than I'd like to admit.