I took a nap yesterday, which didn't really help enough. I grow increasingly pensive and morose. It's a lack of sleep that does it.
First, I get mean and grouchy. Then, I get thoughtful and withdrawn. I sigh a lot. The self-pity sets in next. Before you know it, I want to get back together with Chuck. If that man wanted to marry me, here's what he would do: He'd keep me up late on the phone, for a week straight. He'd use really big words. Kind words. Then, after I was staggering through my days, drinking full-strength coffee in the afternoons, he'd show up with romantic music and a large diamond. It's so simple, really.
...Don't panic.
He doesn't even read this.
Besides, it's my blog, for Heaven's sake. I must exaggerate for effect. Do you think I record the truth with no embellishment? How long have you known me? (There's a word for that exaggeration, "hyperbole.")
I've been reading Romans. We're set to discuss chapters 7 and 8 in house church this weekend. These chapters teach that I am dead to sin. I am no longer the one doing sin, it's sin which indwells me. (That's "personification").
Sin is, on the whole, rather annoying. I say we vote it off the island.
I am apparently going to be plagued by sin all my life on earth. I have to fight against it, but I am not guaranteed a win. It's perpetual futility.
Why did God design this plan?
How is this a good thing?
The only thing I can really come up with is that the fight, the struggle, is the point. Total purity is an unattainable goal, so the battle itself must be the reason. It's a lot of work, frankly.
And I'm tired.
Although, I believe I've mentioned that.
11 comments:
I am such a whiner. This sleep deprivation I am complaining of is because I have only had 6-7 hours a night for a couple weeks. I need 9-10.
You will win... It's now a matter of identity, of having been redeemed. Yes, sin sucks, if I may use that term.
But you are not your sin. I feel this, I do.
Don't despair. Praying.
Yeah, the struggle is a pain, isn't it?
Every day I long for heaven more...
I feel the tiredness too. Oh boy, do I.
Love you.
Sigh. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. No where do I see chocolate, full strength tea and honestly, diamonds are soooo over rated. Go for a nice natural emerald or light blue sapphire. Besides, I thought you said he lived on an island. Island = natural cage. And you really don't want to spend your waking hours living the life of a cherry blossom bride...
There is always eHarmony, but then you could end up with someone like my father.
Yah, time for some doughnuts and coffee, maybe a few bear claws too.
Wow, can you imagine being trapped on an island with Chuck for the rest of your life?
That'll give you something to think about...
k
For those of you who are curious, and those of you who are freaking out: No, I am not looking to hook up with him again. Neither marriage, nor dating.
For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about: Chuck is my friend. He is the only man who has had pity enough to take me on a date in the past 7 years or so. We dated off and on for about 3years before settling into a friendship. He lives 500 miles away, on a lovely Island. We have been platonic for a long time.
There now, feel better?
And kris, for the record: Diamonds are not overrated. I love diamonds!
If you are looking back upon the days of Chuck with rose-coloured specs, things must be dire. DROP EVERYTHING AND MOVE TO CALIFORNIA IMMEDIATLY. We will embark upon a plan of emotional release via chocolate eating, wine drinking and much hysterical laughter.
Because, oh, yeah, by-the-way, I MISS YOU and simply CANNOT live another day without seeing you, you exquisite creature!
L-You
J
Johanna! Hello, beloved cousin. I shall pack forthwith....
Maybe the boys should come and live with me until college. You could go live in Cali.
I have lots of room for dead animals on the walls if I take down all the paintings!
And D & M could set up a music studio in the garage. The neighbors should be used to that.
Dad
Dad, they would love that. You are way more manly than me!
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