On why I love Chocolate

It is truly a wonder that I am still single, on account of how beautiful and brilliant I am.

I tried on swimwear last night for the briefest moment at the mall. It was a brief moment because of the time frame involved, and also because of the fabric.
The shocking conclusion I reached was that swimwear is stupid. The only way to contain one's bosom, is to wear a bikini. All of the suits that covered one's midsection, allowed all manner of flesh to bubble over the top. There is no modesty to be found.
What is modest? I don't want to be frumpy, you understand, just adequately (and flatteringly) supported. Alas, twas not to be.
And besides...swimsuit shopping with Kara? She looks good in everything. Even bare or bursting.
I resisted the urge to slit my wrists, and we ran across the street to our class. (we didn't really run. I meant that figuratively. If I would run, I'd look better in less fabric.)

The teacher of our class is brilliant. You know how I go weak in the knees for a brilliant man? He talked for over an hour on Poetry and Philosophy. He was using words I had never heard before. I love words I've never heard before.
I have never been one to choose men based upon their looks. Rather, I go for a man's mind. Which likely explains why I can have a perfectly satisfying relationship with a good book. And also why I shy away from pretty boys. (who am I kidding? If I could find a man who was attractive and brilliant and loved the Lord, I'd throw myself at his feet. And beg.)
It's hard to find an upright, God fearing man between 35 and 50. Harder still to find a smart and single one. Add to that the requirement that they know I'm alive, and the field narrows still further. There are something like....oh, I don't know...NONE on the planet.

So, feel free to advise me on my love life, or swimwear. I am sure I'll benefit from your advice. It can't hurt.